EXT.
CHESTNUT STREET MORNING
CLOSE
ON a garbage-guy named VICK emptying garbage cans. We PULL BACK to see another
garbage man, JOE, who wears a rainbow-patch on his pocket, a tie-dyed shirt
under his uniform and several political-message-buttons. He frowns at Vick,
arms crossed.
No way Wednesday night. I'm
in a league.
JOE
This seminar could change your
life, Vick. The man is a
great healer.
VICK
And I'm a great bowler. And
Wednesday night we're taking on
Roselli Plumbing.
JOE
You really should expose yourself
to this guy, Vick. He
understands
paraphysical forces, the
healing
capabilities of crystals and
the
laying on of hands.
Vick
drops the garbage can he's holding and gestures to the other full ones.
VICK
You wanna try laying on some hands?
CUT
TO: the Dawkin's front porch.
Tommy,
still in his PJs, runs out, pulling his robe on as he goes. He jumps the hedge
that seperates his yard from
his neighbour's and runs over to the garbagemen.
TOMMY
Hold on a minute! Garbies! Garbagemen!
Hold on a sec! Wait! Wait wait
(looks at the garbage can
in Vick's hands)
hold it, what are you doing?!
VICK
I'm emptying the garbage.
TOMMY
Emptying the garbage?! What, are you
out of your mind?! Gimme
that!
He
yanks it out of his hands and dumps the bag into the street. He kneels down and
starts going through it.
VICK
Hey! Cut that out!
TOMMY
There's nothing here! Not a finger, not
a nose, nothin'!
Joe
grabs a bag an empties it onto the ground for Tommy.
JOE
Here you go.
VICK
What are you doing?!
JOE
You asked me to help!
CUT
TO: INT. AVERY HOUSE
Misty
grabs the phone and dials a number. Zack grabs her hand.
ZACK
What are you doing?
MISTY
I'm calling Parker and telling him
and my psychotic aunt to open the
beach house.
Zack
presses the 'off' button
ZACK
No, Misty, I don't want to go to the
beach house.
MISTY
Fine. The kids and I will go and you
can stay here and spy.
ZACK
(shouts angrily)
Oh! Alright, okay! Fine!
He
walks over to the table and sits down. Misty follows him.
What, are you sulking now?
ZACK
No. Go to the beach house, Misty, take
Kooks and Funk and go to the beach house,
leave me to pad around the house all by myself.
MISTY
Pad around the house by yourself?!
All you do is pal around the neighbourhood
with those two chuckleheads!
ZACK
Fine if that's my vacation, that's my vacation
MISTY
You know, I am very very worried
about you
Why?!
MISTY
You are acting like 'why'?!
What am I acting like,
Misty?!
They're
in the kind of argument where everyone is talking over each other and comebacks
are delayed because no one hears what the other one is talking about, on
account of they're too busy screaming.
MISTY
Look at this! This is not -
ZACK
I'm acting like a man who's on
vacation!
MISTY
- a man who's on vacation -
ZACK
I sleep late
MISTY
Get a tan, then!
ZACK
GET A TAN?! How am
MISTY
Fix the barbecue!
- I supposed to get a tan in
my
pajamas!
MISTY
I don't know!
(throws her hands in the air)
ZACK
Look. Look. You go up to the
beach house and get a tan,
take
the kids with you, I don't
care!
I'll eat take out, I'll do the laundry
by myself
Misty stops screaming momentarily and stares at him, as if considering. Funk runs in through the back door.
- I'll do the hoovering, the
house'll
be spotless when you get
home
FUNK
Dad, Dad!
(shakes him by the shoulders)
MISTY
Right, fine!
Dad, Tommy's throwing
garbage all
over the street!
ZACK
Your mum and I are having a
conversation, if you
what?!
EXT.
CHESTNUT STREET
Vick
stands scowling, helpless, as Tommy digs through the back of the truck,
flinging garbage everywhere.
VICK
Get outta the truck, man! Are you
nuts?
TOMMY
It's gotta be here somewhere!
JOE
Vick, the supreme court ruled that
a person's garbage is public
domain
once it hits the curb.
VICK
You shut up!
Sangy runs over in her pajamas, toothbrush hanging from her mouth.
SANGY
Did you guys pick up a Hefty bag
out of that yard that was bulky, and
probably a little moist?
VICK
(looks at Joe)
What the hell is wrong with these people?!
JOE
They have a right to know, Vick!
VICK
Don't start up with me!
Sangy climbs into the back of the truck and joins Tommy.
We CUT TO the Avery house; Zack runs out of it, followed by a royally pissed off Misty.
MISTY
ZACK! Zack, come back here!
ZACK
(runs towards Tommy and Sangy)
Just one I'll be yeah!
CUT BACK to the garbagemen. Sangy, apparantly too busy to turn around and speak to Vick, leans all the way back into a horizontal position and tilts her head up so she can see him. She shakes a finger angrily
SANGY
My taxes pay your salary!
VICK
I don't want to hear any of your bullshit either!
The question here is garbage, and who picks
up this mess!
Sangy turns around and gets to her feet (sort of. One foot is on the ground and the other is in trash.)
SANGY
Who picks up this mess? You're going to pick
up this mess, because you are a garbageman.
VICK
I pick up garbage in cans, not from the street!
Sangy glares at him, stands up straight and adjusts the waistband of her pants in what one would assume was meant to be a threatening manner. Zack runs over, followed by Brian, and Tommy looks up at him
TOMMY
Zack, there's nothing in here. We've
practically checked this whole truck.
They must have switched on us during
the night.
Zack nods in a 'yeah, I'm going to kill you now' way, one eye twitching.
JOE
The FBI?
TOMMY
No, the Martinezes.
CUT TO: The Red house. While the others talk, Sam walks outside to get the paper. He spots Merton on the lawn and frowns.
SAM
Oh, no! You naughty little puppy!
(walks over and crouches in front of him)
Aunt Sangy gets very upset when
you're on her lawn. Wait a minute
(picks Merton up
and gets to his feet)
You're all dirty, and you're shaking. I
wonder if Legolas knows you're outside
CUT BACK TO the garbage truck. Sangy walks over to Zack
SANGY
In the rain?
ZACK
Yeah. Yeah, it was raining.
TOMMY
And there were how many
of them?
In the background we see Sam walk past on his way to the Greenleafs, Merton in his arms
ZACK
Well, uh, there were three of them.
SANGY
And what were they doing?
ZACK
they were digging.
TOMMY
Digging! Like gravediggers! I
told you they were ghouls!
ZACK
No, I didn't say that, I didn't say
they were they could have been
digging for anything. They could have
been digging for, I dunno, night crawlers.
TOMMY
Night crawlers?!
ZACK
Yeah! They're fishermen!
TOMMY
Fishermen?! Oh Zack, Zack wake up
and smell the coffee! What happened
is the kid spotted us last night, when
we were sleeping he got up, got the garbage
can, took the body and then
Brian, who had been quiet up until then, takes his sunglasses off and points at the Martinezes house.
BRIAN
Buried it in the backyard.
They all fall silent, including Vick and Joe, and look at the house.
VICK
let's get outta here.
JOE
I like this.
VICK
I hate this town.
He grabs Joe by the sleeve and drags him back into the truck, bumping into Sam on the way. Sam walks up to the others.
SAM
Does anyone know if Legolas left
a spare key around? They must have
gone away and forgot to feed Merton.