EXT. GREENLEAF HOUSE – MORNING

Tommy, Sam (with Brian) Brian and Zack are all gathered on the front porch, and have finally gotten dressed. Brian peers through the window, while Zack knocks on the door

ZACK
Legolas!

SAM
I hope nothing happened to them.

ZACK
I think we should call the police.

TOMMY

(rolls his eyes)
Oh, good plan, Zack.

BRIAN

Wait a minute, I think I see

something moving in there.

They all look through the windows. The front door opens, and Sangy steps out, grinning smugly.

ZACK
… how did you get in there?

SANGY

Through the window.

Entre.

They all walk into the living room, glancing around.

SAMWISE
Good, honey.

TOMMY
Beautiful.

ZACK
(looks around)
Legs?

SANGY
This doesn't look good. Signs of

a struggle here. TV's still on, chairs

turned over…

ZACK
I – I wouldn't say that's a sign of

a struggle.

BRIAN
You know, I think maybe I should

go upstairs and check this out, I mean

like maybe Legs and Crunk are upstairs

in the bathtub or somethin', cracked their

heads open and there's like blood and stuff

everywhere –

ZACK
Just don't touch anything, alright?

BRIAN
You got it, Zack.

Brian heads upstairs; Sam takes Merton into the kitchen.

SAMWISE
Come on, let's see if we can find

some dog food.

ZACK
I don't like this. I don't like snoopin'

around Crunk's house.

TOMMY
You mean a dead person's house?

Tommy takes a Gollum action figure off the shelf and puts it in his pocket.

ZACK
You wanna take that out of your

pocket? You wanna not steal that

from your neighbour's house?

… please?

TOMMY

Hey, what's the difference? All this

junk is gonna end up in a flea market

sooner or later anyway.

(puts Gollum back)

CUT TO the kitchen. Sam walks in and sets Merton on the counter. We can still hear the others talking in the other room.

ZACK (OFF-SCREEN)
They might have just left in a hurry,

you know, forgot about the dog.

SAMWISE
Okay. Stay right here and I'll find

your dish.

He turns around, sees something and screams.

CUT TO the living room. Sangy's eyes widen

SANGY
Bingo!

They run into the Kitchen.

TOMMY
What?! What is it?!

SAM
ahhhh! A giant, dead, long-haired mouse!

He points at the stove. Thery look at it and chuckle.

SANGY
Honey, that's not a giant dead long-haired mouse.

ZACK

… that's Leggy's wig.

TOMMY
Oh geez. Beautiful place to keep a wig.

Sam sighs with relief

TOMMY
… I'm starving.

(heads for the fridge)

SANGY
(turns the wig over in her hands,
studying it thoughtfully)
I know one thing about these Elves…

they never leave the house without

their hair. No, sir. Leggy left this house

in a big hurry.

She turns and looks dramatically at the back door.

TOMMY
Hey guys, look, I found some –

He straightens up, holding out a plate of cookies, at the same moment Brian comes barrelling through the kitchen door. The door knocks right into the plate and smashes it, sending cookies flying everywhere.

ZACK

… lovely.

TOMMY

Oh that's good Brian. Yeah. Very

nice.

Zack runs over and begins babbling at them. Tommy and Brian start talking too, all shouting over each other.

ZACK

Okay, everybody out, I think we've

broken enough laws for one day –

BRIAN
Hey, I'm sorry, but we have not looked -

TOMMY
It is not against the law to break cookies!

BRIAN

You're right!

ZACK
I can't believe I let you talk me into this

in the first place –

BRIAN
It's not against the law!

ZACK

- why don't we just get out of the nice Elf's house!

He pushes them all out the door. Sangy follows with an amused expression on her face.

CUT TO – the front porch. Merton sits in a deck chair while Zack kneels beside it, using the arm to write a note.

ZACK
'Legs, your dog is at my house. Your

window is broken because we all thought

that…'

(shakes his head, crumples the note and

tosses it. Starts a new one)
'Legolas, I have your dog.
Zack.'

He stuffs it through the mail slot. Pauses, takes Leggy's wig out of his pocket and puts it through the slot too. Merton begins yapping in the direction of the Martinezes.

Zack looks over and we see a middle-aged woman looking out the window at them.

ZACK
Mrs. Martinez! Mrs. Martinez, hi! Zack

Avery. Listen, I was wondering –

She scowls at him and pulls her head back inside the house, shutting the window.

END SCENE