"Concerning Crunksvilleans"

[Camera pans over a map of Crunksville]

Crunk (V.O):

Ahem. The 11^th day of October in the year 2002, the Greenleaf home, Chestnut Street, Crunksville, MSNland, the world, the universe.

[Camera pans into the Greenleaf house and up to Crunk, typing at her desk.

The words 'Fellowship of the Umbrella' appear]

Crunk:

[as she types] There and Back Again: Der Crunkle's Tale, by Crunkle Greenleaf. …duh.

[takes a sip of Pepsi]

Now… where to begin? Oh, yes…

[as she types] Concerning Crunksvilleans.

[scene: Park.]

Crunksvilleans have been living, working…

[camera pans to a man selling ice cream]

…and reproducing…

[camera pans to Ari's face. Camera backs up to show Jade walking with her]

For several years, quite content to puzzle and be puzzled by the rest of the world. Crunksville was, after all, full of strange creatures beyond count…

[Camera finds Hyde, who is scurrying through the park, a blanket over his head. Two fangs are seen in the shadows]

Though only a few of them were renowned as great warriors…

[camera finds Jordan. He attempts to fire his crossbow at the target set up on a tree, but the arrow misses and flies off-screen.]

Woman (V. O):

OW!!

Jordan:

Sorry! [runs off-screen]

Crunk (V. O):

…or counted among the very wise.

[cut to Danny, Em and Warren's apartment. Dan is studying Em's medication lying on the table.]

Danny:

Dude, it's shiny. [picks up pills and pops them into his mouth]

[Cut back to Greenleaf House. Crunk laughs. There is the sound of a knock on the door]

Crunk:

Amber! Someone at the door!

[Sighs, goes back to typing.]

In fact, it has been remarked by some that Crunksville's only real passion is for sweets.

[cut to Taren stuffing cookies in his mouth]

A rather unfair observation, as we have also developed a keen interest in alcohol of all sorts…

[Cut to Sangy, downing vodka]

…and in the smoking of pipe-weed.

[cut to Hyde and Ads, stoned out of their minds]

But where our hearts truly lie is in chaos and adventure, and in good rock tunes.

[Cut to NFFatRoD practicing]

For all Crunksvilleans share a love of music. And yes, no doubt to others, our ways seem strange. But today of all days, it has brought home to me: It is no bad thing to celebrate a dysfunctional life.

[Cut back to Greenleaf house. Another knock at the door.]

Arg… AMBER! The DOOR!

[Knocking continues.]

Jeebuz, where is that girl?

[cut to: the forest behind the Greenleaf house. Amber, reading beneath a tree, hears a female voice singing. She closes the book and stands, listening.]

Misty (off-screen):

[sings]

Our house, in the middle of the street

Why did we ever meet?
Started my rock and roll fantasy…

[Amber stands up. She looks across the forest, smiles, and runs off. We see the back of an old Thunderbird, and Misty, who is singing.]

Misty:

[sings]

Don't, don't, don't, let's start

Why did we ever part?
Kick start my rock and roll heart

[Amber reaches the side of the street Misty is driving on. She crosses her arms and smirks.]

Amber:

You're late.

Misty:

[turns slowly to look at her] I am never late, Amber Greenleaf. Nor am I early. I arrive precisely when I mean to!

[They look at each other for a while, as if trying to keep a straight face. Then, as Misty's mouth begins to twitch, they both break out into smiles, and laugh richly. Amber jumps onto Misty's lap, arms outstretched]

Misty:

[catches her, frowns] You just hugged me. Are you feeling okay?

Amber:

[shrugs, sits down in the passengers seat and dusts off her clothes] Your guess is as good as mine, frankly.

Misty:

Right. You didn't think I would miss yer mum's birthday?

Amber:

What news of the outside world? Tell me everything!

Misty:

Since when do you care about the outside world? You're far too curious for an Amber. Most unnatural… [the car approaches the apartment complex] Well, what can I say? Life goes on much as it has this past… forever, full of its own comings and goings. Vaguely aware of the existence of Crunksvilleans… for which I am very thankful.

[The car passes through town square, where people can be seen going about their daily tasks, dancing nekkid, playing music, or just eating.]

Random Men:

Blech, it's Misty!

[turn their heads and spit. Misty beams]

[The car moves out of town square, and on, to park-ish-area, where we are given a magnificent view of the landscape, which is lush, and green.]

Misty:

Oooo… the party of long-expectedness!

[We see a group of twenty or so people working on party preparations. Ten or so try to keep a tent up, while others carry tables and chairs.]

Person:

Hold it!

[people can be seen putting up a banner that says 'Hippo Burpday Crunkle!'. As it is raised, people cheer]

Misty:

So how is der Crunky anyway? I hear it's going to be one wicked party.

Amber:

[shakes head]

You know Mom. She's got the whole place in an uproar.

Misty:

Heh. That'll please her.

Amber:

Half the town's been invited. And the rest are showing up anyway.

Misty:

Ha!

Amber:

To tell you the truth, Mom's been acting odd lately. …well, more than usual, I mean. She's started locking herself in her room.

Misty:

That's no surprise.

Amber:

Without Dad.

Misty:

Oh dear.

Amber:

She's up to something.

Misty:

Hrmm… [mutters]

Amber:

[looks at her]

Misty:

What?

Amber:

Alright then, keep your secrets.

[The car passes a house, with a chimney breathing white clouds of smoke, and a line of clothing hung on its roof. Two people stand by the gate, talking, and wave as the car passes them by.]

Before you came along, things were a lot quieter.

Misty:

Indeed.

Amber:

Men never had babies or anything like that.

Misty:

[grins uncontrollably]

I'm never going to live that down , ever.

Amber:

You've been officially labeled a disturber of the peace.

Misty:

Oh, really?

[Nhi sees Misty, while sweeping the front of her house, and eyes her rather sourly. Children are seen running down the street, and following the car.]

Children:

Meeeestaaaay! Mestay's here!

[The kids climb a fence, and run past the gate at which Nhi (holding a slashed bambithing) is standing.She continues to glare at Misty. Soon, the children come to the road that the car is on, and stand on one fork of it.]

Children:

Chocolate, Misty! Misty! Chocolate? Misty?

[Misty takes the other fork and pretends to ignore children]

Children:

Awww…

[Misty turns and throws chocolate bars out fer the kiddies. The kids cheer. Misty turns to face ahead. Nhi scrambles ahead and picks up a few chocolate bars. Misty turns around]

Nhi:

…litterbug.

[Misty shakes her head and turns back to face the road.]

[the car moves on a slows down]

Amber:

I gotta go. [jumps out of the cart and runs off]

Misty:

Yeah, go ahead, warn 'em! Tell 'em I'm coming! Give 'em time to scatter like rats!