"Something to Talk About"

[Amber opens a chest and searches through it until she finds the suitcase containing the Umbrella, which she holds out to Misty]

[Misty snatches it and throws it into the lit fireplace]

Amber:

What are you doing??

Misty:

[takes the Umbrella out of the fire with tongs, holds it out to Amber] Hold out yer hand, Amber. It's quite cool.

Amber:

[hesitantly holds out her hand]

Misty:

[drops the Umbrella into it] Look at the handle. What can you see? Can you see anything?

Amber:

[examines the handle] Nothing. There's nothing.

Misty:

[sigh of relief]

Amber:

Wait… there are markings. It's messy kiddy handwriting. I can't read it.

Misty:

[sighs] There are few who can. The writing is that of Raejae.

Amber:

Raejae?!

Misty:

It says "One Umbrella to rule them all, one Umbrella to find them, one Umbrella to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them."

---

[Misty sits at the table, smoking, while Amber pours glasses of soda]

Misty:

This is the One Umbrella. Bought by the 11-year-old brat Raejae in the clearance section of the Wal-mart of DOOOM. Taken by Horribleman from the hand of Raejae herself.

Amber:

Mom found it. In Bunnykins' cave.

Misty:

Yes. For yonks the Umbrella lay quiet it Crunky's keeping. But no longer Amber. Evil is stirring in Raejaeville. The Umbrella has awoken. It's heard its master's call.

Amber:

But she was destroyed. Raejae was destroyed.

Umbrella:

[whispers] Horribleman…

[Amber and Misty both look at the Umbrella, alarmed]

Misty:

No, Amber. The spirit of Raejae endured. Her life force is bound to the Umbrella, and the Umbrella survived. Raejae has returned. Her Ferrets have multiplied. Her fortress is rebuilt in the land of Raejaeville. Raejae needs only this Umbrella to cover all the lands in a second darkness. She is seeking it, seeking it. All her thought is bent on it. The Umbrella yearns above all else to return to the hand of its master. They are one. The Umbrella and the 11-Year-Old-Brat. Amber… she must never find it.

Amber:

[takes the suitcase containing the Umbrella and walks into the next room as though looking for a place to hide it. Misty follows along behind]

Alright. We put it away. We keep it hidden. We never speak of it again. No one knows it's here, do they?

Misty:

[remains silent]

Amber:

Do they, Misty? [turns to face her]

Misty:

There is one other that knew that Crunky had the Umbrella. I looked everywhere for the creature Bunnykins. But the Enemy found him first.

[insert clips of Bunnykins' torture]

I don't know how long they tortured him for. But amidst the screams and inane babble, they discerned two words…

Bunnykins:

CRUNKSVILLE! GREENLEAF!!

Amber:

Crunksville… Greenleaf! That would lead them here!

---

[Blink-182 and Sum41 gallop across a road in Crunksville. Joel flicks on a lighter]

Joel:

Who goes there?

[Joel's concerned expression turns to a look of horror as one of the 'punks' swings a guitar at his head]

---

Amber:

Take it Misty! Take it! [holds out the Umbrella to Misty]

Misty:

[backs away] No, Amber.

Amber:

You must take it!

Misty:

You cannot offer me this Umbrella!

Amber:

I'm giving it to you!

Misty:

DON'T TEMPT ME, AMBER.

[Amber lowers her hand]

I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand, Amber, I would use this Umbrella from the desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine.

Amber:

But it cannot stay in Crunksville!

Misty:

No, it can't.

Amber:

[closes her hand over the handle of the Umbrella]

What must I do.

---

[Amber rushes about, packing hastily to leave]

Misty:

You must leave. And leave quickly.

Amber:

Where? Where do I go?

Misty:

Get out of this area of town. Make for Pleasantville.

Amber:

Pleasantville… what about you?

Misty:

I'll be waiting for you, at the Factory.

Amber:

And the Umbrella will be safe there?

Misty:

I don't know, Amber. I don't have any answers. I must see Justin. He's a little obnoxious, but trust me Amber, he'll know what to do. You'll have to leave the name of Greenleaf behind you, for that name is not safe outside Crunksville. Travel only by day and stay off the road.

Amber:

I can cut across country easily enough.

Misty:

My dear Amber. Ambers really are amazing creatures. You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after many years they can still surprise her.

[A clicking noise is heard. The camera pans over to the window]

Get down.

[grabs her baseball bat, slowly moving towards the window, then points the bat out the window and whacks something. Quickly he grabs it from outside the window. It turns out to be Danny. She drops him on the table]

Cuss it all t'tarnation, Daniel Avery! Have you been eavesdropping again?!

Danny:

I ain't been droppin' no eaves, mummy, honest! I was just taking a walk through the neighborhood!

Misty:

A little late for taking a walk, don't you think?

Danny:

I heard people yelling.

Misty:

What did you hear?

Danny:

N-n-nothing important! That is I heard a good deal about an Umbrella, 11-Year-Old-Brat, and something about the end of the world… but please, mummy of mine whom I love so much, don't hurt me! Don't turn me into anything … unnatural!

Misty:

No perhaps not… I've thought of a better use for you.

[Amber grins]