HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

CUE MUSIC: ... "Over and Done", the City Drive (I opened Winamp, closed my eyes, hit random a million times and that was what I got.)

FADE IN: RUBY RED, tall, redheaded, in her early twenties, working at the Shop. She sorts cash in the register, headphones on. We fade, dissolve and the like through various shots of her closing up the store, shutting down various lighting-up and spinning displays, straightening things here and there. Suddenly she sneezes; she lowers her headphones and the music is cut down to background music.

RUBY
Eru.

AZURE FRASIER walks up, hands in pockets.

AZURE
Bless you.

RUBY
(puts her headphones back on)
Hi Azure.

AZURE
Hey Ruby. Could I talk to you for a second?

Ruby looks at him and pulls one side of the headphones away from her ear.

AZURE
Could I talk to you for a second?

RUBY
Sure.

Ruby takes her headphones and disc player off and sets them down. She and Azure go for a walk around the store as they talk.

AZURE
So you're going to fly home to your parents

for Thanksgiving today?

RUBY
Yeah, I'm s'posed to.

AZURE
Good, good.

RUBY
Where are we going?

AZURE
Just... for a walk.

RUBY
My God. I'm lost. I've been working, studying,

struggling, year after year - you know how I've

been working, studying, struggling year after year -

and it's technical I'm thinking, yes. But today -

my Eru! It's like he knows me! And no time's gone by

at all. Time doesn't matter. You don't wanna eat, you

don't wanna sleep, you forget what day it is... because

that little angel, Azure, is so calm.

Azure bites his lip, half confused, half guilty. Ruby looks at him

RUBY
What's wrong, Azure? You ok?

AZURE
(takes a deep breath)
You're fired, Ruby. Boss made me. Doesn't have the

courage to come talk to you himself.

RUBY

... oh?

AZURE

Business is down. 90%. You're the youngest, he says.

RUBY
Me? Ev - ev - Eva is 19! Y - you! How old are you?

AZURE

We're just - me and Eva will be gone too -

Ruby sneezes, loudly

AZURE
- bless you - in six months, and - >

RUBY
(grabs him by the arms)
They can't fire you, you're kids, you've been here

since - since -

AZURE

let's - you're hurting me, Ruby, let me go.

Ruby, at this point out of her mind, hugs Azure. Azure hugs back, the both of them laughing like morons

RUBY

sorry.

And then something strange and disturbing happens: she kisses him. He kisses back, and after about five seconds she realizes what she's doing and pulls away, dropping Azure on the floor, one hand clamped over her mouth.

AZURE
i - I d-didn't mean to do that...

Ruby sneezes again.

AZURE
God, I hate the holidays.

END SCENE

EXT. SHOP - DAY

Ruby walks out and into her car, where she sits down and immediately puts her head on the steering wheel. She sighs, starts up the engine. The radio comes on, blaring something stupid and poppy. Ruby narrows her eyes and turns it off. WARREN, Ruby's son, short and wearing emo glasses, comes up and knocks on the window. Ruby jumps, then looks over and calms down once she sees it's him

WARREN
Mom, it's me!

RUBY

eru, Warren.

WARREN

Move over, I gotta drive, you're running late.

CUT TO BLACK: The words 'Flying' appear on the screen. We hear the sound of the car door slamming, then an engine roaring as it speeds off. We CUT TO: Warren and Ruby, Ruby having scooted over into the passenger's seat so Warren can drive.

RUBY
Slow down, I'm not that late.

WARREN

Eru, I ran all the way here, 'cause history-head

Pinkus, that jerk that drips death, he kept us late

in English class because Kendall is such a moron

and didn't have her stupid book report.

RUBY
Slow. Down.

WARREN

(looks at her. Smiles in an indulgent kind of way)
Okay, what's wrong?

RUBY
(sighs)
I'm not gonna go.

WARREN
I know you hate to fly, but it's okay -

(Ruby sneezes)

The wings won't fall off, they go -

RUBY
They go right through the plane, I know I know.

WARREN

What is wrong, Mom?

RUBY
Nothing. Everything. Nothing. I had a not so good

day today, honey.

(laughs)

WARREN
Check out what you've got to look forward to, huh?
Cigarettes and junkfood and Grandpa's famous stuffing,

right?

RUBY

Oh my Eru, I'm not gonna do it again. Turn around, turn

this car around.

WARREN

Mom, you're going.

RUBY

(blows her nose)
If I go, you go. Yick. Your Uncle Hyde won't be there and

I can't face the rest of them alone. Not now.

WARREN
Yeah. You're going.

RUBY

awww. awwww.

WARREN

End of discussion.

CUT TO: Ruby's car pulling into the airport. Ruby mumbles to herself as she tries to gather her baggage

RUBY

where's my ticket - shit. I'm leaving my umbrella.
(Ruby and Warren get out of the car)

And I smashed my thermos inside, so don't open

it, get cut and bleed to death while I'm gone, okay?

They go around to the back and open up the trunk

RUBY
Honey, this is your last chance. That's it. Mom's gone.

Mom's -

WARREN

(grabs her by the shoulders)

Do not panic. Just remember the fish. Remember when

we went snorkling, how we all just floated there, just you

and me and the angel fish?

RUBY
I know honey, I know. Just float. Just float.

Ruby gets her bags out of the trunk, Warren slams it shut

WARREN
Keep breathing!

RUBY
I'll call you tomorrow. I have Danny's number.
When do they eat their bird?

WARREN
Float. Float - actually, um, I'm actually having

Thanksgiving at Em's house instead.
(digs in his coat pockets, pulls out a bright orange

note and hands it to her)
Here's his folks' number in case for, like, a real

emergency.

RUBY
Em's house?

WARREN
Yeah. Please don't call every two minutes, I'll die.

RUBY
Um... Jordan's sleeping over at our place, right? And

Danny?

WARREN
Right.

RUBY
With you.

OFFICER
(to Warren)
Please move this vehicle, sir.

WARREN
Right.
(gets in the car)

RUBY
Okay. Good.

Warren shuts his door, pauses, unrolls the passenger's side window

WARREN
Oh, mom - and I'm gonna have sex with Em.

Ruby stares.

WARREN
I mean, we love each other, and you told me

when the time came I'd know it, and we talked it

out like adults because we're not jerks and we fully

realize this is a major step so we're not taking this

lightly, and I just wanted you to know that. That's all.

That we're gonna do it, that's all.

... safely. And not in the car.

OFFICER
(knocks on the window)
Move this vehicle, sir.

WARREN
(starts up the engine)

Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.

He drives off, leaving Ruby standing there, terrified.

CUT TO: Ruby walking through the crowded airport, bumping into people left and right. She holds her coat over her left arm. She walks past the payphones, filled with people in her exact same situation. Brenny, Amber, Sloane, and... Miss Tiddles.

AMBER
Mom, please accept the fact that I do my own

laundry now. Fine! Dad, I don't know what you're

hearing, my throat is fine. No, I don't wanna take an

antibiotic.

BRENNY
Please. Please - please, okay, please. I can't eat that

stuff anymore, please.

SLOANE
I'm sorry, but there is not a nuclear robot on the moon,

and so what if there was? I'm not gonna -

MISS TIDDLES
(leans over and taps Sloane on the shoulder)
Excuse me, excuse me - could you tell me how this thing

works?

SLOANE
Mom, I gotta go.

Ruby watches them all with a quiet kind of horror. As she walks, her coat slips off her arm and onto the floor; she doesn't even notice.

CUT TO: Ruby on the plane. She's sitting in the window seat, next to a plump and extremely talkative middle-aged woman. On the other side of the woman is Sloane, leaning her head back and looking miserable.

WOMAN
Last year, my daughter-in-law, who is absolutely

miserable with her life as a tax attorney, she stuffed

her bird with oysters! Oysters, you know, from the ocean?

Ruby is busy shooting some kind of nasal spray up her nose.

WOMAN
Now where did the turkey find an oyster? That's my point,

but it's just lost on her. Lost.

Ruby leans over to operate the airplane-phone

RUBY
excuse me, may I...

WOMAN
Oh yes, excuse me! You know, that stuff you shoot up your

nose is addictive. But of course you know that -

Ruby dials Hyde's number and squishes herself as far away from the woman as she can. She gets the answering machine

HYDE (on machine)

We're not even here right now, so please leave a message

(beep)

RUBY
Hi. Hi little brother. It's your big bad sister. Where are you?
I'm on my way to Sangy and Sam's -

WOMAN
(leans over and points)
Look at the makeup on that woman!

RUBY
(presses herself against the wall)
- which I know is the last place on Eartth you wanna drive a

million miles in holidy traffic to be at and I don't blame you.
Have Thanksgiving with your friends. I would, if I had any,

which I don't 'cause then I'd have to send them all birthday

cards. Which is a lie of course because you know I'm only

looking for pity. Eeeeru. My my my.

(pauses)

... shit.

(voice breaking)
I really wish you were gonna be there kiddo, because, I am

sick as a dog, and I made out with Azure, and Warren's gonna

have sex with a teenager, and then... and then I got fired

or the other way around. Whatever. Eru, I cannot believe

I have said this to a machine. I hate machines. Please, just

get rid of it's tape, it's absolutely nothing. I'm fine. I just...

I just really miss you guys. Happy Thanksgiving. Give

Ads a bigbigbiiig hug from me that's it love Ruby.

(hangs up)
God. That was moronic.

WOMAN
Oh no, my son is a moron. You know, he sells thousand

dollar suits in Akron, Ohio.
(laughs)
Idiot.

END SCENE