FADE IN:

INT. UPSTAIRS BATHROOM

We watch through the mirror as Ruby lights up a cigarette, then pan until we're actually looking at her. She takes a long drag and sings, quietly, to herself

RUBY

Black, you're looking for that sun, you're looking

for that light -

She's interrupted by Sam knocking on the door

SAMWISE (offscreen)
Here's an alarm clock, dear.

RUBY
(wafts smoke away with her hand)
I have one, thanks!

CUT TO: The bedroom outside, and Sam leaning against the bathroom door to talk to her. Sangy walks in and wanders around the room a bit. The door opens a teeny bit and Ruby slides out, trying to let as little smoke escape as she can

SAMWISE
But this one's set for 5:10 to help stuff my bird.
Sneak in and shake me and then we can go down

and stuff the bird. Unbeknownst to her majesty
(nods towards Sangy)

Sangy turns the lamp off, plunging the room into darkness.

RUBY
... Mom. Why'd you do that.

SAMWISE

Because she's infested with jealousy.

Sam goes over and turns on a lamp in the corner, providing a little more light

SANGY
Because, it was too bright. It's supposed to be

a 3-way, and now it is.
(turns the lamp on)
Tada! Say, "Thanks Mom."

RUBY
(grins)
Thanks, Mom.

Sangy strolls out proudly, waving the old light bulb at Sam. Sam shakes his head

SAMWISE
Miss Fix-it all of a sudden.

(heads out the door, voice fading as he walks away)

She doesn't know where anything is in her own

house, which drawers, I have to tell her everything -

like a stranger! And the way she drives, you watch, one

of these days she's going to mow down a whole troop of

cub scouts...

Sam's voice eventually stops. A few minutes later, Sangy pokes her head back into the room

SANGY
I'm sure you've noticed he's gotten awfully fat

in his old age.

RUBY
Boy. I'm beat. I should unpack.

SANGY
I was in the car wash the other day, listen to this:
"Dear Abby..."

RUBY
(gets in bed, crawls under the covers)
Oh Ma. Not Abby.

As Sangy talks, she undresses and changes into her pajamas, reciting the letter from memory

SANGY
"I think my mother is losing her grip on reality.
All her life she's been this happy-go-lucky, outgoing

personality, who cried a lot in private, but to strangers

was a barrell of laughs. Now lately, it's gotten real bad.
She wakes up every morning frightened. And she gets

real worked up about war, and crime, and taxes... and

those terrorists. And she thinks the President secretly

owns McDonald's, and the Home Shopping Network.

It's not funny."

(sighs, looks at herself in the mirror)
"Signed, Distraught."

RUBY
What did Abby say?

SANGY
(sighs again, turns to face her)
Well that's not the point really. What the hell does

Dear Abby know about life anyway?

Sangy grabs her old clothes and walks out, shutting the door behind her. After a moment's pause, we hear heavier footsteps come down the hall, and Sam pokes his head in

SAMWISE
5:10 AM. Just a little shove, I barely sleep anyway

anymore.

He shuts the door again and walks out. Ruby blinks, buried in blankets up to her nose.