INT. MOOG'S FRONT HALLWAY

He walks over and opens the door. It swings open to reveal Sangy, Misty and Sabrina, who pose and smile cheesily

ALL THREE
Undahpants!

MOOGLE
Surprise, surprise. Mom's henchmen.

He walks into the living room; the others follow

MOOGLE
Hey Georgia. Come out here and meet the

Undahpants.

SABRINA
You don't seem very surprised to see us.

MOOGLE
Of course not. Whenever Mom can't handle

something, it's only a matter of time before

you guys come swooping in.

Georgia enters, looking generally un-surprised

GEORGIA
Hey guys. Have a seat.

SANGY
Hey kid.

They all sit down. Moog rubs his head

MOOGLE
Now, before you start, I have just one thing

to say. It's not gonna work.

SANGY
Listen, Moog, no one on Earth, and I mean

no one, understands better than us how crazy

your mom is. We're not here to dispute that - She's mad

as a hatter, that's never gonna change.

MOOGLE
The expression 'preaching to the choir' leaps

to mind.

GEORGIA
(looks at Misty)
He's been like that all week.

Moog glares at her. She shrinks

MISTY
Look, the very fact that your mom is the way she is…

If you really knew… it's nothing less than a triumph

of the will.

MOOGLE
I'm sorry, did you say 'will' or 'pill'?

SABRINA
Don't you take that tone with her. You wanna get all

scrappy you deal with me.

MOOGLE
That is just it! I don't wanna get all scrappy! I am sick

of fighting, and I am sick to death of this whole center

of the universe, holier-than-thou, nothing is ever enough,

'Oh how I've suffered, nobody understands me, somebody

fix me a drink and hand me a Zoloft', worn-out… thing!

MISTY
He's got her pegged alright.

MOOGLE

I am finished. Done. That is gone with a D.

Misty looks at Sabrina and raises her eyebrows. Sabrina nods. Moogle looks at them

MOOGLE
Wait a minute, did Mom send you?

SABRINA
Are you nuts?

SANGY
She'd skin us alive if she knew we were here. We

told her we were going to a spa where there was no

alcohol.

SABRINA
Misty joined the AAA.

MOOGLE
Huh.

SANGY
The point is, Moog…
(pauses)
I'm starvin'. We know when we're licked, okay? So how

about you let us just take you out to dinner. We'll get on

the first plane in the morning, no questions asked.

Sabrina and Misty look at each other, then at Sangy, bewildered

END SCENE

INT. NIGHTCLUB-THING – EVENING

Sangy, Misty, Sabrina and Moog sit at a table. Moog has a mug of beer sitting in front of him on the table, almost totally full.

MISTY
The Warped Tour! I just can't get over it. Your mom is

so proud.

SANGY
For God's sake, Misty! We said we wouldn't talk about
Jess, we took a solemn oath and there you go.

MISTY
It was an accident.

SANGY
Why doesn't somebody go to the bathroom?

Moog looks at her like she's nuts

SANGY
It always makes the food come.

MOOGLE
Ah.

He nods and smiles. They all grin at him, expectantly

MOOGLE

… I'll go. I need to call Georgia anyway.

Sangy waits until she's gone, then takes a white pill out of a tiny container and begins crushing it with a knife on her paper napkin

SABRINA
What is it?

SANGY

I got it from a guy I know, he said it's – well I

forget. But he said it would knock 'im on

his ass.

MISTY
Noooo Ruffies that's the date rape drug! We can't

do that!

SABRINA
He's practically a teetotaller with these skinny little

drinks!

SANGY
So what, we can't whack him on the head!

MISTY

Well give 'im that! He's Jess's kid, he can take it!

SABRINA
Here he comes!

Sangy nods, pours the crushed-pill into Moog's drink and swishes it around a little bit. She pretends to take a sip as Moog walks up and sits down

SANGY
I had to taste it.
(hands it back to him)
Delish.

MOOGLE
Didn't work.

They all stop and go 'o.o'

MOOGLE

… the food, it didn't come.

Relieved, they all burst into laughter

SABRINA
Oh, it didn't, did it!

MOOGLE

Guess not. Well…
(raises his glass)
Here's to Mom. Long may she rave.

Sabrina, Sangy and Misty clink their glasses with his and promptly shout 'Undahpants!' Moogle takes a big swig of his drink. He smiles at them, looking around awkwardly for a few minutes until he becomes startled by one of the disco-lights. He stares at it with a 'WTF' look on his face as the drugs start to kick in. We cut to the lights, blurring and

FADE INTO

INT. BEDROOM – MORNING

Light streams in through the windows and leaves patterns on the wall. Moog lies in bed. Slowly his eyes flutter open, and he looks around for about two seconds before it hits him. He immediately bolts upright

MOOGLE

NO!
(clutches his head)

EXT. SANGY'S HOUSE – MORNING

MOOGLE (offscreen)
Noooo! What is wrong with you people!

Cut to SANGY'S LIVING ROOM; Sangy, Misty and Brina are sitting around the table playing cards, drinks sitting in front of them (with the exception of Misty, who's drinking water)

MOOGLE (offscreen)
I have to be in New York City!!

SANGY
Looks like sleeping beauty's up.

MISTY
I'll make him some coffee.

SABRINA
I'll get the whip and the chair.

Misty and Sangy, who were starting to get out of their chairs, freeze and look at her.

SABRINA
… the one time I'm not being dirty and you are. I meant

like a lion tamer, see?

They shake their heads. We cut to Moog who is ranting, loudly, one hand clutching his head

MOOGLE
I have a sound check! I have a fiance! I have a

headache!

Sangy and Sabrina walk in and stand in the doorway

SABRINA
We flew you first class! Doesn't that count for

anything?

MOOGLE
What? No!

SANGY
Oh, there's a change of clothes on the bedside

table.

Moog gets out of bed, grabs a pair of pants and begins tugging them on, angrily.

SANGY
They're Sangi's. Might be a bit big.

SABRINA
Hahaha, you look like a circus tent.

MOOGLE
Listen up this minute, okay? I'm not a child anymore.
I am a grown man, with a life a thousand miles

away from here. And I'm going back to it right now.

Misty walks up behind the other two

MISTY
I'm makin' you coffee.

MOOGLE
(sways, leans on the table for support)
What the hell do you think you're doing?

SANGY
A Beardbusters mission of mercy, pal.

SABRINA
An intervention.

MOOGLE

Why me? I've been in therapy for fifteen years –

Misty rolls her eyes and walks off

MOOGLE
- with a professional! She's the one that needs the

help!

SANGY
Yeah, you're right. But kid, she's gettin' up

there, like the rest of us. She is what she is but you,

you have a long life ahead of you. You shouldn't have

to spend any more of it tangled up in anger and

resentment.

MOOGLE
I'm not angry! And the only resentment I feel is

you guys thinking you have the right to –

Sabrina waves a hand at him and walks off; Sangy scoffs and follows

MOOGLE

- disrupt my life just because Mom has a hissy fit

when essentially all I did was tell the TRUTH!
(falls back against the wall)

woah, hold on, I'm spinning.