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MFL Impact Online
Monday, June 2 - Volume II, Number 1 Who needs wings? Besides standing up all you lame-o's at the Wing joint, I am starting to get the hunger for some football. Seriously, I was sick, and had a sick kid, too, or I would’a been there. So, apologies to all you infidels. So, as the bears awaken from the long hibernation, the lights at the MFL office flicker on and the cobwebs are cleared away, let’s start by talking some trash. My amigo by association, Purple “Barney” Pimp, will have to start working the finger muscles now instead of the forearm muscle while watching Telemundo. I look forward to another season of bashing everyone silly, including us. Nate...don’t blame ya. Telemundo has hot chicks, no doubt!!! First off...Barney...I mean your Pimpness...Forget about a three-peat. Ain't happening. Mark it. Not that anyone can't do it, but for the sake of a good argument...you’re screwed. Miami has runningbacks and squat else, so they are done before it even starts. New York chokes on the big game like Monica did on one U.S. Litre...I mean Leader. Dowagiac is under new management, so they could go either way. Actually, there is only one way to go. Will have to crack the cement and dig more to get lower. Which leaves us with Canton: MFL Lockdown. Solid running backs, good QBs, decent receivers, and a ton of cashola to boot. May have been the best move moving LT while a dumbass like Miami was out there. Will be interesting to see what Canton does with 17 bazillion dollars to spend. Prior to the draft, the beast in the East is Canton. Followed by New York, Pittsburgh, Dowagiac and then Miami taking it up the chute like Courtney Love looking for a hit. Hey, Miami! Quite being a douche, and hold on to your draft picks, or at least the first rounder since your going to have a 50% chance at winning the daily 5, I mean the MF...BINGO! ARRGGGGHHH...I can’t stop...the much-loved Powerball...I mean MFL draft...O66..."Dammit, JIM!" The Draft Lottery and landing of the Tim Tebow sweepstakes next year, you tool! Unless he gets the Munson like Chicago did. Tank the season on purpose, then get screwed too boot hahaha. That was just TFF and I was LMAO, and ROFL. No, it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be BFFs, either MO! Ok, Westward we go! Repeat after me...ARK-DALE! Bravo to Josh for doing what no one thought was possible. So, let me swing on them nutz and say he is gonna do it again. The Crows...I mean Grines...have no running game with their number one RB in the soup lines giving up the ass for a place to sleep at night, and then their #2 losing his job to a rookie. Roy Munson...I mean Jeremy Munson Bonk...good luck with the overall #3 pick...hahaha! TFF! South Bend, have fun with the 8 first-round picks you have and dropping what little bit you have left to make room. Then, there is ol' Iowa. Jon “PTL...no not that...Pressing The Limits” Bruney. Let’s see if big man has the nutz to drop 6 mil on a WR again after last year. Better yet, show everyone you ain’t a punk and draft a KICKER in the FIRST ROUND! But, with Papa Favre gone, QB is priority. So, prior to the draft I see Arkdale coming out on top again, with a coin flip for the rest. You decide... Peace and hair grease, Suckas!!!
Regards, Asterisks suck, exclamation points rule! It is appearing only one individual in the league is crying foul right now from a “suspended” player being put on the IR. Correct me if I’m wrong, but IR does mean Injured Reserve, no? The suspended player is not even hurt! He is at practice with his team for crying out loud. So, what gives? “Well, he has an asterisk next to his name, and Drew said...” NO, Drew did not say that. Let’s refresh what Drew did say since no one including Drew is saying so or remembers. Perhaps I’m the only one who has kept what was sent out on 5 September concerning the “new” rule(s) for placing a player on IR. Well, luckily you have me and I have this information, so let’s address this. Per our Commish in an e-mail sent on 5 September and evaluate it... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Drew Kuespert [mailto:mrkuespert@hotmail.com] Sent: Wednesday, September 05, 2007 8:10 AM To: dwills@earthway.com; jbonk1212@hotmail.com; randy.decleene@ketchum.com; tdmjones12@earthlink.net; dionmawhorter@sbcglobal.net; axsenior@hotmail.com; airforcepol@comcast.net; jbock44@hotmail.com; mooch_beamen@hotmail.com; mrkuespert@hotmail.com; jonbruney@hotmail.com; vnrusso@yahoo.com; i_love_goofy@hotmail.com; dmawhorter@sbcglobal.net; aaronjgeorge@hotmail.com; decleene74@yahoo.com Subject: NEW Injured Reserve system - MFL Impact Online Just so there is no confusion... PLEASE NOTE: The system for placing players on Injured Reserve (IR) has changed as we head into the 2007 season. The procedure goes as follows: If you would like to place a player on IR... 1) Make sure that the player is legitimately hurt. You cannot put a healthy player on IR. The player must be at least listed as "questionable" in order to place them on IR. Questions? Email me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nothing mentioned about an “asterisk” that I see mentioned in the above...hmmmm... Yes, Commish, I have questions...thanks for asking. First, if a player is suspended and not “legitimately” hurt as you have stated it should be nay-nay on the IR. Also, stated is that you cannot put a “healthy” player on IR...if he is practicing, looks like he is pretty healthy to me...call me crazy, but it does appear that way. All I’m saying is if we’re not going to follow the IR system, why bother following the Cap system, the Roster space system? Rules are rules, no? I would SOOOOOOOOoooooo love to have seen Kenny Watson score the go ahead touchdown to beat Canton and see how loudly Tim Jones would be hollering right now. Except Tim got beat fair and square so no one will say boo about this except me. Foul is foul, and fair is fair. Call it like it should be and lets follow ALL the rules and not just the ones we want too. Week 8 games WHO CARES! New York and Pittsburgh win, Iowa and South Bend lose, and who cares about the rest of the league because we will just do what we want anyways and ignore the rest!
My halfway report Well, we are at halfway thru the season thus far and what do we know? Well, Pittsburgh is still playing like the defending Champs, and we need to respect that. However, when they traded Peyton Manning away, it raised a few eyebrows like Jeff Garcia at a Press Conference. I understand where Pittsburgh is coming from and looking to the future. If they feel secure with Vince Young, more power to them. But, fact of the matter is they are still strapped for cash. Personally, I would have left well enough alone if I was still going to be broke. On the flip side, Arkdale received one--that's one--good player out of the deal. Pittsburgh somehow was able to trade away their garbage that they have tried time and time again. Looks like they finally found someone to take the bait, or junk. Mixed emotions on this trade. Was it a true win-win? Still no losses, but still no cash either. New York Lynx. I have liked this club from the get go, and now that Pittsburgh had done what they did, it very well may have just paved the way for New York to take over that top spot here very soon. Seeing Kenton Keith vulture a Joe Addai TD had to make Nate’s tummy turn. I still like New York to win it all, and I will be semi-shocked if they don’t. Injuries. Miami has been killed by injuries this year and--some how, some way--they're only 1 victory away from being .500, and don’t ask me how. The only people they can even count on to get points on a regular basis from is their kicker. Canton has also been “plagued” with the bug also. Steven Jackson has put up no points. At least Rudi has put up a measly 5. But, then again, Jackson is being paid properly, too. Rudi is the most overpaid in the MFL currently, bar none, and Miami has just about had it. Don’t be surprised if Dave Wills hits the Captain Morgan heavily one night and throws him to the wayside!. But, we’re only halfway through the season, and we've got half to go. A lot can change and, who knows? Maybe Canton can go on a streak, maybe Pittsburgh and New York fall flat on their face. Doubtful, but you never know. Missouri will pull it out in the end, and win the West. After seeing Kenton Keith dip into Joey Addai’s Kool-Aid last night perhaps this is the beginning of the end for Pittsburgh. Regardless, Pittsburgh holds off Canton for the Wild Card, as New York cruises to a bye to the Show. Pittsburgh will smack Missouri around showing them the East is the Beast, and ultimately loses to New York in the Super Bowl. But, New York, don’t pull a Cleveland and put the bubbly on ice yet. Let's wait and see how it all pans out. Week 8 Previews, real quick! Game of the Week Ummmm, flip a coin... Scraps at Lynx Grines at Ravens Cougars at Varks Chefs at Spears Mafia at Hawgs I think I saw a smokey... Breaker, 1-9! Breaker, 1-9! This is the Rubber Duck calling out looking for the Canton Cougars. Anyone seen them, come back? Ahhh, Roger Rubber Duck this is PigPen. Last I heard Canton fell down the side of a mountain and is continuing to fall at a rapid pace, come on. 10-4, PigPen. Thanks for the update. I will quit looking for them until they can get out of the hole their in. Keep the wheels a-spinning and the a beavers grinning. This is Rubber Duck and I’m out. Bye-bye! "Calling all cars, calling all cars! Be on the look out for a rabid cougar who cant find his way home! Is all this stupid so far? Well, that’s exactly what Tim Jones is thinking with his 2007 outing thus far. How stupid can this get? Unfortunately, it might get a lot uglier or even more stupider. Congrats to Pittsburgh for having only a minor blemish, and DogPatch for trying to punch them dead in the mouth. I have to admit I was cheering for T.O. on the failed 2 point conversion. Always like an underdog to come up and win it. Plus we need to slow the Spears down sometime, right? Who would have thought that after Week Five, Arkdale would hold sole position in the West, and Canton would be below .500 coming off a tough loss to handle. Is Week Six the turn Canton needs? Will Arkdale hold onto the top spot? Game of the Week...go figure. I’m going to give the Champs--and still with no losses--the nod with Miami this week. So I’m partial...blow me! GAME OF THE WEEK Spears at Miami Miami is coming off a huge win over Missouri and has some confidence back exactly when they need it most. With the 2 starting RBs coming off of byes, but apparently still not fully healthy, Coach Dave Wills is still raising an eye brow. Luckily, Peyton and Joey Addai are on byes this week. However, is this the week LJ unleashes? Just like last week, we need an upset special and I’m riding Miami to do it again. Miami 28, Pittsburgh 25 Chefs at Lynx Bye weeks are now becoming an every week dilemma. NY is coming off a near loss to Canton and is looking to “man-up” and get back to form after a last second win. Brady is looking like he wants the MFL MVP this year but is looking at a tough match up this week. Do we see Palmer get the nod instead? DogPatch will not go away and will give NY fits. In the end, NY moves up and ties Pittsburgh for the lead in the East. New York 28, Chefs 21 Varks at Ravens Don’t ask me how, cause I don’t know. But all Arkdale does, it seems like, is win. Ugly, but a win is a win, nonetheless. Chicago’s looking to get a streak going after a nice win and they're licking their chops at this division leader. Does he stay with the red-hot Anderson, or go back to Donny McScabb? Chicago is looking for that big win and they get it this week. Ravens 31, Varks 21 Scraps at Grines Wonder if Missouri is still thinking contain this week? Or, is it thinking I hope I don’t pull a Miami this week and lose to South Bend. South Bend is going to be in for a long day with Matty out for the year. Is Harrington going to get the nod? I believe Missouri is ready to unleash the “Show Me” team again against a badly bruised Scraps team. Grines 25, Scraps 18 Hawgs at Cougars Iowa take notice: you have been officially been served papers of the whipping Canton plans to lay down. A team who feels it has nothing to lose is a dangerous team, and Canton fits the bill. The once favorite now vying to try and get back to even plans to do so at the Hawgs expense. LT has had enough and will show his MVP brilliance this week. Canton 32, Iowa 20 Regards, "Mr. W" Thursday, October 4 - Number 8 Murphy’s Law or Darwin Award? In the State of Florida this morning, people are wanting to know if Murphy’s Law is alive and well, or are the Miami Mafia going to be the latest Darwin Award winners? I think I will have to side on the Murphy’s Law side here. If it can go wrong, it did go wrong in Miami. It isn’t all the injury problems they are having, either. Actually, we do need to nominate Coach Dave Wills for the Darwin Award for starting Marc Bulger against Dallas. WTF were you thinking there Coach? But, even if he would have started Matt Hasselbeck he still would have come up short by 3 points since everyone else laid a goose egg. But, Murphy’s Law is alive and well on South Beach this morning. Miami has some tough road ahead of them, too. Going toe to toe with the Mighty Grines with a head of steam with both starting RBs on a bye, and then the Champs in Week Six. You are now looking at a once favorite to the Wild-Card now at 1-5. Gallant effort, Miami, but it is time to start looking to next year. Speaking of next year, here is to a speedy recovery and, hopefully, full comeback to Lynx RB Deuce McAllister and Miami’s Caddy Williams. Enough of the sentimental crap. Time to look at Week Five. Is Pittsburgh still gonna steam roll? Is Miami gonna roll over and play dead? Let’s take a look, shall we?... Game of the Week: PARVO BOWL! Cougars at Lynx Coach Dion firmly believes he is a coaching genius this year stemming from the 6 TD Palmer performance. Coach Dion claims it was his call, and Coach Tim Jones just threw the bullsh*t flag on it stating he wouldn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. These two have a long history, and the gloves come off this week. Will the two confer with one another on line-ups, gut feelings? I would say...ummmm...Hell no! All is fair in love and war and there is no love lost at the moment. The Lynx throw a one-two combo with Brady at da Brownies, and MBIII at Buffalo. This has bad written all over it. It is screaming slugfest. Canton counters with a one-two of Jackson...ummmm...nope, he is out again (Miami feels for you brother)...ummmm...counters with Cutler at San Diego...perhaps, LT at Denver...getting better...Crosby at Chicago. It is going to be a whale of a game, regardless. Too much talent between the two. We’re in a gambling mood here. Canton shows NY what it takes to be a coaching genius. Canton 30, New York 28 Mafia at Grines Coach Kuespert’s mouth is watering knowing a banged up Miami team is coming into the Grines nest. All indicators point that Miami is in beyond bad shape and The Grines have done all but come out publicly and said...ummmm...we’re gonna kick your ass! Coach Dave Wills is literally at wits end, but has vowed he will not give up the ghost as of yet. But, Mizzou has too much steam and well...confidence while the Miami team is all but deflated and just plain ole beat down. But we need an upset special of the week though, don’t we? Miami with the team of Replacements led by Shane Falco...I mean, Jason Campbell stands tall and says contain what? Miami 31, Missouri 30. Ravens at Hawgs Will the real Slim Donny...please stand-up, please stand-up?! Luckily, he is on a bye week so enough talking of this douche. Plus, the pimps slapped the sh*t out of Chicago, so no need for me to say much more. The Hawgs are like a hemorrhoid, always around when you don’t want them and a pain in the ass. Depending on if Coach Bonk adjusts his line up or not will possibly determine the outcome. Poppa Favre is playing like a kid again and, well...is exciting to watch. I think Marshawn needs some serious help in the back field. Chicago is going to pull it out in the end, though. Ravens 27 Hawgs 19 Varks at Scraps Umm, this has ugly written all over it...kinda like last week's game against Miami. COIN FLIP SAYS...Varks, final score...I’m not touching it till these proactive coaches can get their correct line ups in. But, if I hafta: Varks 19 Scraps 12. Spears at Chefs Biggie divisional game! But, 4-0 has to be respected here and, to be quite honest, I don’t see anyone being able to slow Pittsburgh down...till next week, that is. Going to be a great game here but the Spears just have too much muscle at the moment. Spears 34, Chefs 25. Regards, "Mr. W" Wednesday, September 26 - Number 7 Return of the Mack New York is just steadily piling the points on like fat chicks pile the pancakes on after a girl's night out at IHOP. It is nuts. New York is averaging an astounding 38 points a game. They're like a run away freight train. After last year's bust, it is safe to start singing Return of the Mack...there it is! Dontcha know who I am?! But, close behind him after last week's rout is Miami averaging 30 points a game now. Well 29.6 to be exact. Yes, even higher than Pittsburgh. By 3 tenths. Spears are at 29.3. What's going on in Canton? Rumors have it that Caddy Williams could possibly be on his way to Canton in exchange for Shayne Graham. Just what Miami needs is another power kicker who can put 10+ points up at any given time. But rumors also have it he could be going to NY for a certain Willis McGahee. Regardless, Tim Jones needs to make a move with both his backup RBs on a bye and SJ out. He is up the creek with no paper. Ok, enough...let's get to the picks. Game of the Week Pittsburgh vs. Arkdale The only reason this is getting the top billing as GOTW is because it will be the last time this year we have 2 unbeaten teams. Let’s take a close look at the match up...Uhhhh, Arkdale? Get a lineup in. Hello, Arkdale? Line up, please...now...? Oh, boy. Two RBs from Green Bay, Calvin possibly out and his...ummmm...QB...ummm...their only QB is on a bye week. Ok, this isn’t even funny anymore. Pittsburgh wins like a gazillion to 10 and is the sole unbeaten in all the MFL. Nice job...kinda. Might as well have played Notre Dame this week, you bully. Pittsburgh 28, Arkdale 17. Dowagiac vs. Missouri This could actually turn out to be a nailbiter here. I think Coach Kuespert has had enough of Drew Brees and will bench him this week. So what? He is on a bye, so he is gonna bench him. But, then again, he could leave him in and get the same results. Goose Eggs! Tough choice, Drew. I believe Dowagiac--providing the right lineup--will beat Missouri at the end. Dowagiac 34, Grines 26. Canton vs. Chicago Are we seeing the demise in Chicago again this year? Canton going from a hero to zero? The best RB duo in the league and it has churned out bubkus. Steven Jackson out, back-up RBs on reserve...then again, he could just leave SJ in as like Brees and get same output. Donovan showed life again. I’m still angry at his comments, but at least he had the sac to back up his comments. Was refreshing to see him drop the attitude and play some damn ball again. Portis also being on a bye week, and LT at KC will help kick start the Canton team again. But LM is at Cincy...Donovan at the Giants...is this the kick start Chicago needs? This is going to be closer than a lot of people think. With that said my upset of the week is Chicago over Canton. They will have just enough to Git-R-Dun! Chicago 33, Canton 28. Iowa vs. New York Ok, this one is over before it starts. Brady at Cincy...Barber at St. Louey...NY destroys what lil' hope there was in Hawg City. I’ll say NY scores AT LEAST the average, if not more. Blood bath: New York 38, Hawgs 17. South Bend vs. Miami Houston, this is Matt Lienart and we have a problem! Say it ain't so! Pops Warner still making noise and possibly unseating Matt again this week. Bulger has two broken ribs, Rudi has a hammy and he's facing New England, Westbrook has a tummy ache, Vernon has a knee problem and is out. Miami just had the livin' hell beat outta of them after last week. Flip a coin if Miami’s injury report mid-week looks like a Clancy novel. They may be screwed. If not, Miami should wrap it up. Being a positive person and thinking all is well, even though Bulger sits another week, Miami will pull this one out. Miami 28, South Bend 16. Regards, "Mr. W" Wednesday, September 19 - Number 6 The Porcelain God Awaits... After a late night call from the Commissioner last night asking "Where in the H. E. double hockey sticks have you been?" and that if I want to keep my "freebie tickets every week" I best get my rear in gear. Week 2 is now closed out and I got two huge question marks. First off, what the Hell is going on in Miami? This once favorite picked team is 0-2! Miami is averaging 23.5 points per game; where Arkdale is averaging 23.0 points per game and has the exact opposite record of 2-0. Helloooooo, what am I missing here? Iowa averaging 16 points a game, and South Bend staying true with 14 pts each game. So, how can a team that is averaging 23 and change be in the same short bus school district as those averages of 16, and 14 respectively? Better yet, the East is holding 138 points per week average, where the West is at a measly, or as Dr. K likes to say, SPUTTERING 108.5. (Yes, we noticed. If 25 is sputtering and 29 is red hot then we’re not too far off, eh?) I guess it explains the big boys now reside in the East, and you best bring your "A" game week in and week out. But, let's not panic just yet. If Miami falters again and comes out 0-3...might be a long, Missouri-like year for this team filled full with talent. Like tossing one off in the toilet and seeing the potential go right down the crapper. What a shame! If they don’t win this week, South Beach will burn to the ground, and they will have to move to Bangor, Maine. But, it is only Week 3 coming. Let's not panic as of yet...emphasizing YET. Anyways, the past is the past, and let’s get to looking at Week 3. There are some very attractive match ups, and most will think that the Missouri/Arkdale will be Game of the Week leaving only one of the two untarnished. Perhaps for Dr. K. However, I say nay-nay. My focus and my Game of the Week is... Canton vs. Pittsburgh The Super Bowl rematch. Pittsburgh is hotter than a 10-year-old boy in a parish full of Priests right now. Canton is coming off an embarrassing loss and reports have it that the gloves are coming off. These two teams have buried the so-called hatchet on the surface. But, if you pull back a few layers there is still some bad blood. Which makes for good TV on The Ocho, only on ESPN. This is going to be a barn burner from start to stop, and if Canton can get their RBs out of bed, it could prove to be a shoot out and drive the impressive average of the East up even more. I think the Mad Rapper should bust one on his own team and give them some motivation. Looks like the line is 10 favoring Pittsburgh. But this could change come later in the week possibly. Brass tacks: it is going to be a great game, Pittsburgh won’t cover the spread. Canton is going to have to figure out what to do as a 1-2 team. Pittsburgh wins, 31-28, moving to 3-0. Missouri vs. Arkdale Missouri is going to continue to beat up the little kids on the play ground after reaching puberty this summer and remembering how everyone kick sand in their face last year. Arkdale made a move for DeShawn Wynn, but is not going to be DeNuff to topple the "Mighty" Grines. Missouri continues to roll and giving Arkdale its first black eye of the season, 29-18. New York vs. Chicago NY is favored by 7 at the moment, and Chicago best start looking for a new QB...FAST! After Donovan dropped the race card yet again, I have started losing all respect for this subpar QB right now. If he wants to be mentioned in the same conversation as Brady, Manning, and Palmer, then he needs to play like them. Or at least throw 1 TD. Just friggin one, Donovan! I would rather have Jeff Garcia right now than you. It isn’t because your black, Donovan, or because Jeff talks with a lisp. It is because you blow goats for beer money right now. YOU SUCK! Since he keeps playing like Joey Harrington, he will continue to be called out and not because of his skin color, either. BOOO, Donovan! Shame on you! I hope you fall flat on you face now and Kolb unseats you. Anyway, as much as my mind tells me nooooooooo, I think Chicago might have just enough to pull an upset here and beat NY in a close one this week. Ravens win it, 26-23...Dont ask why, drink Bud Dry! Iowa vs. South Bend Finally, some hope in the MFL! Someone will walk away from this yawner with a WIN! When the average is 15 points between the two, let’s just flip a coin, or go with averages. Your call. Besides these team's owners, who cares? I mean really. Iowa wins, 16-14. Miami vs. Dowagiac Last, but not least, the biggest disappointment since Slick Willy got caught getting a hummer from Monica. Miami goes on the road to Dowagiac. Maybe the plane will crash and Miami will have to start all over. Miami can’t win a game like owner Dave Wills couldn’t get laid in an all-woman prison with a bag of blow and 100 dollar bills hanging out of his zipper. It seems they do better with scrubs then actual talent. Wills was all but ready to hand the team MVP award to Adam V, until he missed an extra point and--holy freaking crap!--a field goal. Ironically Wills picked the phone up and started shopping. What a dickhead. This team is in disarray and needs a win badly to get the hangover effect over with and not cut everyone Tuesday at midnight. But, Dowagiac says We’re your Huckleberry, Miami. Cowboy up, Chump. The line somehow favors Miami at the moment by 7...and frankly, it is funny to favor an oh-fer team anything. Frank Gore is a stud...T.O., Ocho Cinco...Does Miami have enough to pull it thru? I think they do, Rudi and Westbrook finally find the end zone, possibly more than once. Plus, Adam V will put up 10+ again. Miami takes it, 32-24. Regards, "Mr. W" Wednesday, August 29 - Number 5 My Week One Preview The beginning of the MFL season is only a week away. We have seen some grumblings like: What in the Sam Hill are we talking about rule changes now? Well, because we need to. Mega kudos to the Commissioner for his proactive approach with this. Plant the seed now so we can think about it, so when it comes time to make changes we have some direction on which way to go to keep the MFL the best league bar none. Ok, down to business: Week One match-ups. I try to stay as biased as I can with this, but the obvious choice that will have a gazillion viewers watching on the “Ocho” will be the Miami vs. Canton game. Canton made some very impressive moves in the off-season and post-draft to now become the Numero Uno contender in the league this year. The addition of Steven Jackson was mind blowing to say the least. Canton has the best duo RBs hands down and most likely will be giving Canton the golden ticket to the bye week before the Super Bowl. However, Miami has made plenty of noise also. The additions of Marvin Harrison and Rudi Johnson could be the pieces needed to make this sophomore team one to reckon with and cause Pittsburgh some headaches this year. This will be a great game between two good teams. Canton pulls the victory out beating Miami 31-30 in the Game of the Week. New York vs. Pittsburgh This will also be a great game to complement the Canton/Miami game. Pittsburgh decided to maintain the rights to Peyton Manning for one more year and he alone will win a few games for the Champs. But, New York is chocked full of talent also. They have two QBs in Palmer and Brady who you NEVER bench regardless of who the match up is against. A great problem to have. However, what lineup will Coach Dion use? That might be the deciding factor for the outcome of this game. Pittsburgh’s LJ will be too difficult for a Houston D/ST and will put Pittsburgh over the top with a victory over New York with a final of 36–30. Chicago vs. South Bend This one will have a few faithful viewers watching and it will be more curious to see if Donovan can return to his dominance again. Plus, it is appearing as though Adrian Peterson will be making his first MFL start come opening weekend. Peterson has a ton of talent but Chester “we love us some” Taylor will be dipping in his Kool-Aid, but not for too long. Before long we will be hearing "A.P.!, A.P.!" being chanted and not for the stamps! Chicago is looking for redemption and making regular lineup changes. Chicago gets the better of the Scraps, 24-18. Missouri vs. Iowa David vs. Goliath here? I don’t think so. Iowa had an impressive draft throwing money around like Kid Rock in a strip club. But did they spend wisely? Missouri traded Steven Jackson away for Drew Brees and locked himself in as a "week in, week out" starter for the Grines. But FWP is good for 2 scores this week, letting Iowa know there is a new top cock on the block in the West. Missouri wins easily over Iowa in a blowout, 42-15. Last but not least... Arkdale vs. Dowagiac Could Calvin "The Freak" Johnson make his starting debut? Arkdale was plenty active in the off-season, also working on tweaking their lineup to their liking. Dowagiac maintained the status quo andthey're happy with what they have. What he is happy about is the trio of Gore, Ocho-Cinco, and T.O. Nice combo to have and will prove to be a tad too much for the Varks. Dogpatch wins this one, 31-21. Regards, "Mr. W" Tuesday, August 14 - Number 4 Show me the money! First and foremost, congratulations to the Pittsburgh Spears when they were presented the prestigious MFL Super Bowl Trophy. Good Luck with your quest in a repeat this year. You're stuck with Pee Manning, and--UNPROVEN as he was called--Joe Addai. Nonetheless, congrats, and good luck to you and your club! Yesterday’s observation of the MFL draft was interesting to say the least. I felt Tom Cruise was representing the majority and the new additions were dancing naked on the phone making Tom yell SHOW ME THE MONEY! To the credit of Tom, he did just that. Iowa alone spent an incredible $11.9 million in the first round, stealing the first overall pick, and then they spent an INSANE amount of money for wideout Larry Fitzgerald. He is paying Larry Fitzgerald MORE than the overall number one pick!!! But, he had the cap room and a grudge coming into the draft, so he pressed the limits on everyone around! Congrats to the Hawgs for having the focus, and getting what they wanted. But in the same breath here, we have 2 clubs post-draft with $10 million in cap room?!?!? WTF! What are they waiting on? The draft was yesterday HELLOOOOooooooo! Speaking of stealing picks, let us ponder this for a moment, my brothers of the Mighty MFL. What good does it do to trade your draft picks away when it isn’t a coveted pick? I mean anyone can select your pick that you made the ultimate trade to get. Anyone could trade all their picks away, not have one pick coming into the draft, and literally still walk away from the draft with 3 or more players that they drafted. Granted, they will pay more for them, and Iowa & Pittsburgh proved this theory yesterday with stealing a couple. Maybe the rules committee can look into possible changes concerning it, or at least make the first round an exclusive, coveted pick solely for that team for 4 million or whatever a starting price should be, and round 2-4 a steal em if you want em agenda. That way if you trade a first round pick, it actually will have some meaning behind it. Also, something that needs to be addressed is the free-for-all. You want to talk about sheer pandemonium. Let’s make the free-for-all more less a semi mini-draft, but start with the Super Bowl Champs, and work backwards to the last place team. Let each team select up to two or 3 players, even 1 player when it is their turn, and continue this process until no one has anyone else they want to pick up in the free-for-all. That way at least the champs can have first pick of what is left from the so called sloppy seconds. Possibly something else to look at for next year perhaps. Or, leave well enough alone as it is. I do know that next week will be action packed with some adds and mostly drops to get the teams in compliance prior to the deadline. It will be interesting to see who is paying attention to the wavier wires when teams like Chicago, Pittsburgh, Arkdale, and the Grines make their moves to ensure they are within the league limits. All in all, I owe the MFL an apology. What I thought would turn out to be a lethargic draft proved just the opposite. However, that doesn’t mean I still don’t think you guys aren’t a bunch of scrubs. Regards, "Mr. W" Saturday, August 11 - Number 3 Let's get ready to rumble! As Jim Carey would say: Allllllrighttyyyy then! You wanna make it personal? Fine with me. I’m your huckleberry. Let me quote Michael Buffer first: “Let’s get ready toooooooooo ruuuuummble!” First and foremost purple is for pirates, not pimps!! So the fellas better see you two show up to the draft in a boat. Yo, Ho, Ho, and a bottle of rum! ARRRggghhh matey! I don’t foresee a boat coming to Fremont, so that answers the question that the league has been asking. Plus, enquiring minds want to know…what’s with the socks and sandals? Second, nice Spanish. However this is America, Amigo! Press 1 for English, or Press 2 to get deported. End of story. So lay off the www.freetranslation.com website and stick to the primary language of this great nation. But your reference’s to the Nick at Nite line-up was impeccable. Speaking of, tell your “hombre” I like his new commercial he has made. The “You’ll get who we give you” line was totally awesome! Then when he slammed his head on the phone to hang up…it was BRILLIANT as the Guinness guys say! BRAVO! IF it weren’t for the hair I wouldn’t have known it was him! I can’t believe I’m corresponding with a commercial icon now! Lastly, down to business at hand. You claim I do not know Fantasy Football. Ok, you’re entitled to that. But I think you don’t either for that fact. So na-na boo-boo! All you did was state Nate’s (might have to use that in an upcoming rap) new eating habits, and Peyton Manning working meat. Yo, Drew Brees will put up similar numbers for half the price! Mark it! Hell, Tom Brady will put up better numbers than Pee for even less than half. But as you claim I don’t know anything about this game. You know, I don’t care that Nate enjoys sucking on the bone of a chicken wing while grossing out the waitresses. HOORAY BEER! You state Addai is unproven? How can you even attempt to say he is unproven? If he is unproven as you claim, why did they not bring in some help in the off-season to help this young, unproven running back out? If he is soooo unproven, put him on the trading block. I’m sure that dildo from Miami will trade you. But, I shouldn’t have to tell the Fantasy Kings this. Look, Pee Manning will have a good year. This I can’t even argue. The point is he is not going to put the sick numbers up you claim. I don’t care about how bad the Colts will suck this year, or what has happened to the entire team in the off season. Go on and pay him 9 mil and change. You’re nuttier than a squirrel turd. There is only one player in this league worth that and it is L.T. But, what do I know? You’re the champs. Who are we or who am I to even think about questioning the defending champs.? We bow down before you, oh, noble one! Wait, hold the phone. Are these the same champions who were crying, snotting, and whining all over the place when Ladell Betts was picked up prior to the Toilet Bowl? Don’t speak of creditability to me when your going to cry like a baby because someone made a move before you did. You cried like a 4-year-old who just peed his pants on the playground in front of his so called friends. Speaking of, Miami gets my other vote for crybaby of the league. NO ONE CARES you had a winning season and you didn’t make the playoffs. Grow up also and learn how to take defeat like a man! Regards, "Mr. W" Monday, August 6 - Number 2 Is Purple really for Pimps? The observation from last year, is the 3 most active teams had--GASP!--the best records. I emphasize ACTIVE for a reason. Pittsburgh, Canton, and Miami were the most active teams, and they finished 1, 2, 3 record wise. They were hangin' and bangin' trades, adds, drops, whatever it took to win the game. THEY WANTED TO GO FAST! Mediocrity was not in the vocabulary of these three teams. Never mind about the sub-.500 finish of Iowa. The sun shines on a dogs keyster every now and then too. I still think the Rules Committee blew this one like a 2 dollar hooker blows at 4 a.m. with vomit breath needing cab money for a ride home. Not sure which one blows the worst, but the common denominator is they all blow! One can only hope and pray that the teams with the best records will be rewarded to the playoffs. It was a fluke last year. I understand this and the entire West division should be as embarrassed as Pee-Wee Herman was in the porno movie house by sending a sub-.500 team to REPRESENT DA HOUSE, the West Division. But, it never should have had a sub-.500 team rewarded by a launch into the post-season. Hopefully, my favorite for the year, the New York Lynx, will win it all and set the league straight once and for all. That’s right, I’m swinging on The Lynx at the moment, like Tarzan was swingin' with the apes while hittin Jane in the Jungle. You heard it here first. Dr. K might have something else to say, but New York wins it all this year! I’ll get into this later, not that any of you tools are reading this anyways. One can only wonder what we will have in store for this year’s up coming...*YAWN*...excuse me...the excitement is killing me here...the upcoming, action packed, fun filled--*YAWN* dammit sorry--MFL Draft?? With as (insert sarcasm here) exciting as this upcoming draft has the possibilities of becoming, I can see ESPN Ocho breaking news during the 2007 MFL Draft to bring live coverage of the Nebraska grass growing competition going on out in Omaha. It will have about the same amount of speed, excitement, and marketability as the grass growing out in the middle of no where. What we need here is some excitement people! You can not tell me Reuben “hold the slaw” Droughns being selected in the first round is going to provide an action packed, exciting, waiting with bated breath first round. Gag me with a friggin' garden shovel. Chicago listen up, Pittsburgh your on deck. You need cap space, like Britney Spears needs more kids by K-Fed. Drop Rudi Johnson for the cheese you’re paying him and mix this draft up. You might even be able to pick him back up for less, or get you another stud rookie RB. Pittsburgh, Pee Manning WILL NOT throw 50 TDs this year regardless of how many wings you had to eat, and PURPLE is NOT for PIMPS, so let it go. However, I think we all need to wear purple this year and see if we can pull some hoes like tractors do! It might work, then again, it may not. Pee Manning is a superstar by far, but is he worth half the cap space? Drop him, too, and REALLY throw some excitement in this draft! I can tell you now with only 3 mil and change, I doubt you will touch Calvin Johnson let alone his jock for that price. Youmight be able to buy his game gloves on eBay, perhaps. Drop Manning, pay Calvin (this WR is the exception), and get C-Pep to carry you to the promise land. Then, and only then I might accept the Purple is for Pimps thing. Regards, "Mr. W" Tuesday, July 31 - Number 1 An open letter to the MFL... Dowagiac Chefs: Frank Gore is a stud. Good Luck at trying to trade Kevin “I’m Hurt” Jones for $4.6 Million. Hahaha! That was funny when I read that. With Tatum Bell in Detroit, I don’t even know if I would pick Kevin Jones up for a 100K. Alex Smith perhaps, but what has he done? He has some upside to him, but not enough to sell the farm for. New York Lynx: You can’t ask, beg, borrow, or steal a QB corps this club has! Palmer and Brady… It will be a coin flip weekly to see who starts! Solid RBs, and WRs with a killer defense. This on paper looks like the team to beat!! He has talent all around him, it will be up to the coach to see if he can pick the better winner to start on Sundays. Head and shoulders better than what the record showed last year, and possibly THE team to beat this year! Chicago Ravens: Two words, CAP ROOM! Time to part ways with Two Million Dollar Man Dominic Rhodes. Left a Super Bowl team for the Raiders then is suspended for the 1st four games. Adios Amigo! Rudi Johnson is a coin flip. Eight mil is a lot of cheese, but Rudi is easy like Sunday morning too! It is a toss up. I would probably give the walking papers to Big Ben too. Two million for a mediocre year last year at best. Hopefully McNabb is healthy and can ride him out. Jake Delhomme will be good for bye week filler. With the exception of Steve Smith, the Ravens have NO WRs! Time to make some trades, or work wonders on the waiver wires. Will give Iowa company this year. World Champ Pittsburgh Spears: No repeat here, this is a one and done club! This is not a bad team, but looking at it on paper, there are a few other teams that look tastier! Lot of cap space used up. Even with Jay Cutler headed to the big MO, they are still dangerously close to maxing out. From talks earlier, it appears Pee Manning is their man regardless how much he cost! But makes one raise an eye brow asking, how much is enough for a QB, even if it is Pee Manning? Joe Addai will be a STUD this year. This will most likely be their break out stud MVP of the club this year. Depending what LJ decides to do, a possibly deadly RB duo here. Missouri Peregrines: Work in Progress alert, and is about 21 days till completed! Tons of cap room, and tons of talent already on board! It is appearing Missouri will be going from worst to first. Missouri is on the move, and the sky is the limit. Solid RB’s, tons of potential that can pay off HUGE in the WRs, the addition of Jay Cutler, and the draft coming up with a ton of moolah left. Missouri is THE force to reckoned with in the West! Step aside Iowa, Missouri is about to Press the Limits on you! South Bend Scraps: Lots of money, and 3 players worthy on their team. Too much needs to be done to this fixer-upper to be contenders this year. Three 1st rounders will help. But I’m afraid it may be a little too late for this club. Canton Cougars: LT!! What else is there to say besides they are broke and don’t have a draft pick till the 4th round. MJD was a nice addition, but I’m not completely sold on him yet. Good all purpose RB, but the second coming…..not buying it yet. HOWEVER, MJD (Jones-Drew) is head and shoulders above what the alternatives were in Canton. Good move…Bravo Timmy! With addition of QB Drew Brees it is appearing Canton is ready for a title run again. But when Canton traded WR Colston away, it left him them nothing but a 2nd string WR and that’s it. WR Chad Jackson is coming off injury and with additions it is appears Jackson will be watching the parade go by once again this year. Good looking club providing you don’t mind it doesn’t have a WR to start the game! Arkdale Aardvarks: Madden 08? Vince Young your starting and only QB, be afraid, be very afraid. Portis is being paid $8 million and change for being hurt. Canton may have landed on a gold mine with Betts, and Arkdale should have worked Betts into the previous trade as insurance for Portis. If Arkdale has a plan up his sleeve, I don’t see it. Colston and Wayne are STUDS, but WRs don’t win championships. They could lose one for you (take notice Canton) but they don’t win them for you. Miami Mafia: The most active team in the MFL. Has traded almost every player in the MFL currently. Landing QB Bulger helped, but not sure if it is the final piece of the puzzle. Solid RBs with the potential of DeWill breaking out and showing everyone what he is made of. However, he also has the potential of seeing split time, and ho-hum stats again this year. Everyone will curious to see what this dude can and will do this year. Has 1 solid WR, and a possible sleeper in Greg Jennings. Good Kicker, and an ok Def. Possibilities of making the playoffs in their Sophomore season. Will be a 3 team race in the East, with Miami being in the mix. Iowa Hawks: Pressing The Limits? More like press the toilet lever and flush this turd! See you next year perhaps, Iowa. However, they did make the playoffs last year. Not sure if you should be proud by making the playoffs by default with a losing season to boot. Too much work needs to be done for this sophomore team; so much that not even $17 million of cap space will help. Regards, "Mr. W" | ||
