Yesterday I was feeling kind of...low, sad,
whatever. I had been thinking about Iv and how much I
missed him and how badly I wished he was still with
us. I need to clear my head so I took a drive, not
knowing anything about where I was going or where I
would stop. As it turned out I found myself "out in
the country." I pulled my car to the side of the road
and walked for a few minutes. As I was walking I
noticed a ranch house and an old guy standing out in
front of it. I asked if this was his land and if he
would mind me finding a quiet place to go think for a
while. He said it was his land and I was welcome to
wander for a while. I started out into a grove of
trees and walked for probably half an hour before I
found a small clearing in the trees. I sat down and
listened to the sounds around me for quite a while.
Before I knew it I was talking out loud, to Ivan. I
told him I was wondering how he was doing up wherever
he was...as I spoke I noticed my beautiful
surroundings- birds singing, trees swaying in the
gentle breeze- and I realized he was telling me how
wonderful it was. Next I spoke of how I was. All of
my feelings poured out. As I talked I saw trees and
grass swaying, like he was nodding his head and
listening. Finally I told him how much everyone missed
him, especially Kaitee. I told him she was growing
bigger and the baby was healthy and almost ready to
show itself. I told him how much she wished he could
be there to see all the changes and everything. It was
then that I realized I was crying and knew he probably
was too. I felt the warm sun on my body and knew he
was hugging me. I continued to sit and observe my
surroundings until I had lost all track of time. I
walked back to the rancher's home and he was still
standing outside. I asked if I could come back
sometime, then realized he didn't know who I was, so I
introduced myself. He said his name was Frank Smith
and I was welcome to return whenever I wanted. I
walked back to my car and drove home.