band

You Know You've Been in Band Too Long When...
I didn't write this, so a lot of this doesn't make sense. Actually, just a few of them. But a LOT of them apply to me. All but like 3! lol

1. You actually like marching band and would kill to do it all year long.
2. The drummers start making sense to you.
3. You have to stay in step with people around you while walking.
4. You direct the songs on the radio.
5. Playing "stare down" with the drum major is no fun anymore.
6. You wonder what life would be like if you weren't in band.
7. You roll step while you walk to class.
8. You practice your marching music on a daily basis.
9. You think "Louie Louie" is the best song ever written.
10. You major in music and use your high school band director as a role model.
11. Those stupid "band humor" jokes are the funniest things you ever heard.
12. You pick out instruments from the music in cartoons.
13. You start screaming, "Left! Left! Left!" to people that walk in front of you on the way to class.
14. You've dated everyone in the band and now wonder if you're ever gonna have another date.
15. You think that trumpeters have a right to be egotistical.
16. You don't think flutists have a slight attitude problem.
17. You change from your instrument to the tuba.
18. You have perfect pitch.
19. The band director is always right.
20. You marry that special someone in your section.
21. You have kids and force them to be in music.
22. Drummers make lots of sense to you.
23. You hear music and start marking time.
24. You walk behind someone and you're in step with them.
25. You try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
26. You don't mind changing clothes on the bus.
27. You point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
28. Every guy/girl you're interested in is in the band.
29. You like wearing your uniform.
30. People ask you about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my flute/trumpet/drum/etc.?"
31. You consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
32. You've had a "trombone-ectomy."
33. You practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
34. Being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
35. People worry when they see you without your instrument.
36. "Armed guard" means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
37. Band camp is FUN.
38. You respond to "band fag," "band kid," "band geek," etc...
39. Someone says the word "box" and you automatically put your head up.
40. You remember flats and sharps more easily than your name.
41. You dress the lunch line and urge others to do the same.
42. You're alone and you suffocate because there's no one telling you to breathe.
43. Body slides feel normal.
44. Your instrument has a name.
45. You remember your instrument's birthday and forget your mom's.
46. Making a line is the biggest accomplishment of the day.
47. Back marching no longer reminds you of ballet.
48. You give your instrument a birthday party.
49. You can make brown shoes look white.
50. This list reaches fifty.
51. Your uniform fits.
52. White feathers and blue sequins become a fashion "do."
53. You see your section more than you see your family.
54. Everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band.
55. You have dreams about working at McDonald's.
56. You think evening practices should last a half-hour longer.
57. You accidentally (or purposely) call your band director "Dad."
58. You CAN sight-read.
59. You can put your uniform on in less than 10 minutes.
60. Reeds taste good.
61. McDonald's is a part of your daily diet.
62. You think your plume is alive.
63. Marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
64. You have a neck strap/harness tan line.
65. You subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
66. Numbers past 8 aren't important.
67. You're more opinionated about the Madison Scouts/Phantom Regiment rivalry than you are about political news.
68. You roll-step through the cafeteria so you don't spill your lunch.
69. You'd rather practice than read this list.
70. Letters past G aren't important.
71. You get the jokes on this list.
72. You CAN and ARE WILLING to fall asleep on the band bus.
73. You hear music and start conducting.
74. All your friends are in band.
75. Your non-band friends have disowned you.
76. You've named your plume.
77. You attend a game only to watch the halftime show and leave once it's over.
78. Your social life includes memorizing music.
79. You've practiced so long the color guard is together.
80. You memorize pep songs for fun.
81. You don't try to hide the fact that you're in band.
82. You subconsciously start humming your music.
83. You know not only your own part, but everyone else's too.
84. You eat lunch with all the other band people.
85. You start to eat lunch in the band room.
86. You resort to humming your band music to fall asleep.
87. You have a pin from every competition you've been to.
88. Your friends that aren't in marching band create a group called "non-marchers."
89. You can't go to the movies on weekends with your friends.
90. You don't see your parents on the weekends.
91. Your free time is spent on homework.
92. You wear your band shirt in public.
93. You have your friends call you to attention before you walk anywhere.
94. You remember your friends by chair number instead of name.
95. You don't remember your boy/girlfriend's birthday, but you remember everything from the opener from your sophomore year.
96. Every time you drive somewhere, you remember a band competition.
97. You remember the number of every pizza place around a competition.
98. You know your school fight song by heart.
99. You really want your team to win so your season can extend into December.
100. You don't mind singing on the bus so long as it's the show music.
101. You step on the field again after summer vacation, kiss the ground and yell, "Im home at last!"
102. You can sing not only your show from three years ago, but also the show of the band that beat you.
103. You invest in a mouthpiece warmer.
104. Any wide-open spaces give you an impulse to march your show.
105. You have at least two instruments a junky one for marching band and a good one for concert band.
106. Dreams of marching are constantly in your head.
107. Seeing the sun rise and set while standing in the same spot on the field doesn't seem odd.
108. You come back after graduation to watch the band on their first day of summer practice.
109. You practice the show so much people think you have eyes in the back of your head.
110. You purposely get demerits/fail so you can have extra marching time.
111. You wear your marching shoes to school.
112. The most exciting thing in your life is marching band.
113. It feels odd to wake up in the morning when there is light outside.
114. You start to call the "football field" the "marching field."
115. You call to ask for marching advice from people who graduated years ago.
116. Your senior year you buy your own uniform, hat, and plume as a memento.
117. You no longer think of yourself as a person, but as a dot on a drill book page.
118. You remember each year of high school by the show that you marched in and not the grade.
119. You sit in ready position...at the dinner table.
120. You "plume kiss."
121. Your homecoming banner says "Go Band!" not "Go Team!"
122. You miss homecoming for a band function and don't mind.
123. Everyone fights like family.
124. Your band locker has more personal items in it than your closet.
125. You forget your sister's name but remember the first, middle, and last names of everyone in your 200+ member band.
126. You know the personal business of everyone else in band.
127. You have no secrets.
128. Your pets enjoy hearing you play.
129. You can tell who's in the bathroom by looking at their sneakers under the stall.
130. Your furniture is dented from your drummer friends banging on it.
131. You can still play your horn for 40 minutes straight after being awake on a bus for 40 hours.
132. You add "English Royal Guard" to your job choices after you graduate high school.
133. Changing your oil means opening up your case.
134. You think of sabotaging instruments at the solo and ensemble festival.
135. You can have an interesting conversation with a tuba player or a drummer.
136. You go trick or treating in your band uniform and can think of something your uniform could be (Royal Guard uniform, Police Man uniform, etc...).
137. You can identify someone's band jacket just by looking at the patches.
138. You mark time when you have to go to the bathroom really badly.
139. You actually start to learn the rules of football.
140. You and your band friends march from store to store in a mall.
141. A drummer says something smart.
142. You feel comfortable with a farmer's tan.
143. You try to march in time to a Metallica song.
144. You start dancing while marching a show.
145. You want to become a drummer.
146. You start to believe that the trumpet really is God's instrument.
147. You start to make lists like this.
148. Your web page is devoted to marching band.
149. You skip study hall to go to the band room and practice.
150. You can tell someone where and when each dent in your instrument came from.
151. Your director gives the band a bedtime.
152. You can name every person in the band and what instrument they play.
153. You know your director's phone number by heart.
154. The biggest news you get all year is what show you'll be marching.
155. You find yourself drumming cadences in the middle of class...and you play a wind instrument.
156. You start most of your sentences with, "One time at band camp..."
157. You say little secret prayers asking to be the section leader.
158. You buy pins that say, "I have sax appeal."
159. You think it's fun to play the show backwards.
160. You're eligible for free dinner points at the local fast food restaurants.
161. You knock on people's doors in the rhythm of the opening cadence.
162. You can show up to practice dripping wet and in your pajamas and no one notices.
163. Jazz running no longer reminds you of ballet.
164. You think practicing in the rain is fun.
165. You chew your food in rhythm.
166. You know at least 20 different ways to fall asleep on a crowded bus.
167. You've downloaded your band songs from Napster.
168. Instead of counting sheep to fall asleep, you think of ideas for next year's show.
169. You get your director's jokes.
170. You laugh at your director's jokes.
171. Youve had a "duct tape" experience.
172. Someone starts clapping and you automatically listen for a command.
173. You can put your uniform on in less than one minute.
174. You can still read and finger music in your sleep.
175. You've nearly been decapitated by a trombone.
176. You've stopped counting your blisters.
177. Ten degrees below zero feels warm.
178. Nothing else matters.
179. You don't think anything of it when all the guys on the back of the bus are shirtless.
180. You've had sunburn and hypothermia in the same month.
181. The clarinets can blow you away.
182. You go to a movie and pay more attention to the soundtrack than the actors.
183. You fall asleep with a metronome under your pillow.
184. You're failing all your classes that don't relate to music.
185. You hear someone talking about "banned books" and you think "Band books?"
186. You spend more time in the band room than most people do at full time jobs.
187. You enjoyed "Mr. Hollands Opus" only because it involved band.
188. You get to school early just so you can go hang out in the band room.
189. When you don't get to school early, you go to the band room anyway and then beg your director for a pass to first period.
190. You forget how to walk around like a normal person, so you march everywhere you go.
191. You enjoy sitting around watching old tapes of competitions and games.
192. All the bookmarks on your computer are marching band websites.
193. You have "I Love Band," "Band is Life," or a similar slogan written on your shoes, backpack, notebook, clothing, screen-saver, locker, and/or body.
194. You know exactly how many days it is until band camp starts.
195. You can change on a co-ed bus and never reveal anything.
196. Members of other bands send you candy-grams.
197. You can dance on moving bleachers and not fall off.
198. You learn to play pep songs on different instruments for more excitement.
199. You find a piece of a uniform and know whose it is by the number.
200. You can play all the pep songs from memory, but don't know the words to any of them.
201. You know how to layer your clothing without making the uniform bulge.
202. You need money and you know you can always find some in your uniform pocket.
203. You find ways to use your instrument in non-band classes.
204. You have at least five different ways to style your hair under your hat.
205. You can find the pocket in your uniform and not feel perverted when you remove money.
206. You start finding practical uses for drummers; like foot warmers.
207. You've broken into the band room.
208. You stay after every show and competition to make sure your section's closet is clean.
209. Walking on mud no longer makes you slip.
210. You've permanently damaged your vocal chords from screaming at football games.
211. Three or four hour bus trips seem like 5 minutes.
212. You're comfortable laying down on a parking lot.
213. You go home and feel like your family is missing 100 people.
214. Your sock line fools people into thinking you actually are wearing socks.
215. The uniforms turn you on.
216. You forget that other people actually have to pay to go to a football game.
217. You NEVER confuse your right and left.
218. You find more than one use for a plume.
219. Your feet are together, your stomach in, your chest out, your shoulders back, your elbows frozen, your chin up, and your eyes with pride 24/7.
220. It's impossible to walk five steps without hearing a cadence in your head.
221. All your pants have stripes down the sides.
222. You're dating a football player or cheerleader and you're ashamed.
223. You always start with your left foot when you go to walk somewhere.
224. There is a list of rules for your bus that is typed and hanging up in easy-to-spot places.
225. You adhere strictly to those rules.
226. You refer to the band room as "home."
227. You spend your free time wondering when the next band rehearsal is.
228. You have an opinion on slide grease.
229. You don't panic about being the leader of a line.
230. You daydream about a new instrument.
231. It's easier to pack the instruments on the band bus than it is to pack your suitcase.
232. Your band director has your email address.
233. You know what a flugelhorn is.
234. You ask to play the mellophone in concert band.
235. You always spell "Band" with a capital letter.
236. Someone says "Band sucks," and you beat the crap out of them.
237. You're late to class and you march 4 by 5 instead of running.
238. You feel refreshed after 10 minutes of sleep.
239. You can carry your uniform, shoes, hatbox, instrument, and book bag in one hand.
240. You and your friend play duets over the phone.
241. You're a girl and you don't think twice about using the guys' bathroom if the girls' is full.
242. It annoys you when people step off on their right foot when walking somewhere.
243. You really don't care what other people think of you.
244. You have more than two nicknames.
245. You get upset when someone isn't playing an "air instrument" correctly.
246. You can identify every pixie stick flavor.
247. You're not a flute, so you've stopped eating Skittles.
248. You think there should be a Marching Band Channel on TV.
249. You can discuss the field quality and stand height of every high school within a 4 hour radius.
250. Your favorite mode of transportation is yellow and seats 45.
251. Your room is wallpapered with pictures from competitions.
252. You still have your farmer's tan from last season.
253. You've known your instructors since they were in high school.
254. You dated one of the instructors when they were in high school.
255. Your bus gets lost and you can tell the driver which way to go.
256. You clean your shoes after every single game and competition, even if they're not that dirty.
257. You get annoyed when desks aren't in straight rows.
258. You watch the Super Bowl and think, "Wow! That would be a fun stadium to march in!"
259. Your whole day is ruined when your director misses work.
260. One of the requirements when you buy a new car is that is must be able to haul your instrument.
261. Your goal in life is to be a drum major.
262. Your boy/girlfriend is a marching band groupie.
263. You try to steal the other band's plumes.
264. You watch the World Championship Marching Band or DCI Competition on TV instead of going to a party.
265. You're only a freshman and have already decided what your salute will be.
266. You are the drum major.
267. The smell of sunscreen brings back memories of band camp.
268. All your screen names have something to do with band.
269. You try to convince people that marching band is a sport.
270. Asking someone if theyd like to buy a tub of cookie dough doesn't seem weird to you.
271. Your instrument is worth more than your car.
272. All the clothes in your closet are the same color as (or greatly resemble) your uniform.
273. You're first chair, but are failing all your other classes.
274. You have the band director and drum majors' numbers on speed dial.
275. You keep an extra pair of white gloves and socks in your glove compartment.
276. You know why the conductor has stopped and have already done something to fix it.
277. Your flip folder is bigger than your trig binder.
278. The band sings better than the chorus.
279. You come to attention when saying the Pledge of Allegiance or when you hear the National Anthem.
280. You think parades are fun.
281. You can get anywhere in twelve steps or less.
282. You know the names of all the freshmen.
283. You don't know the melody of a song because you only remember the part you played.
284. You have a favorite cadence.
285. You think sleep is for the weak and sickly.
286. The season's over, and you wake up early on Saturday morning because you think you have a competition.
287. You can stand for hours at a time and not get tired.
288. Someone asks, "What time is it?" and you say, "It's malt shop time!"
289. You always feel a strange force pulling you towards the band room.
290. You no longer laugh hysterically when told to "practice your fingering" or "finger along to the music."
291. You hang out in your director's office and talk with him after school.
292. Your favorite activity at parties is making fun of your section leader or drum major.
293. You can no longer make fun of your section leader or drum major because it's YOU.
294. You no longer associate "dress" primarily with clothing.
295. You start to use your turn signal click as a metronome. *
296. You close your eyes at night and still see a drill chart grid.
297. You've fallen asleep on the floor of the bus. ^
298. During concert season you long to be out on the field.
299. You listen to the classical music station.
300. You can find the beat of any song within the first five seconds.
301. You listen to PDQ Bach and get all the jokes.
302. You don't think it's odd when one of your friends in guard has her flag at the dinner or lunch table.
303. You hear the word flag and automatically think of silks. #
304. You see a flag and your fingers itch to twirl it. #
305. You start to twirl the golf clubs at miniature golf courses and you're not even in the guard. #
306. You printed out these lists just to hang them on your wall because you relate to everything. #
307. You think Nasto sings "We Will Rock You" better than Queen. %
308. You start to hear "attention," "to the ready," and "parade rest" in ordinary conversation. #%
309. You're a little too excited to tell Brandie about your "possible additions" to the list. #%
310. You refer to people by their instruments (e.g. "That trombone is in love with me," "That trumpet got mad at me for stealing his plume," etc.). $
311. You are thrilled beyond belief when they announce that marching band members will be getting varsity letters. $
312. You play violin and join jazz band just to see your marching band friends after the season's over. $
313. You don't know what football season is, but you know what marching season is. $
314. You plan on forcing your little sister to join marching band even though she doesn't play an instrument and can't read music (she can be a drummer). $
315. You think stale pretzels and Tang tastes good. +
316. You continue to march when you have a cast and walk around the rest of the day on crutches. +
317. You have fights with your friends from other schools about whose band is better. +
318. You find your drill book and marching shoes in your locker when you clean it out at the end of the year. +
319. You want to be the first ever marching bassoon. +
320. You buy a brand new piccolo and learn to play it because your band doesn't have one yet. +
321. You use your favorite comments from this list as your screen saver. +
322. You remember which fields serve the best hot chocolate. +
323. You don't want a 3rd quarter break. +
324. You can tune, play, and march at the same time. +
325. You hum the field show all year round. @
326. You can hear the flutes. @
327. You'd rather practice than spend time with your family. @
328. You can't figure out why people make fun of band. @
329. You've memorized the cheerleaders' cheers and dances. @
328. Your director is your best friend. @
329. You wish band camp was all summer long. @
330. Your family and non-band friends call you by your band nickname. @
331. You are involved in a semi-committed relationship with your instrument. @
332. You try to learn every instrument. @
333. You don't mind being called a band dork, as long as people say it with respect. @
334. You've gotten stuck inside a tuba. @
335. You wrack your brain trying to come up with new ideas for this list. @
336. You write your own field show just for kicks. @
337. You call the football players nerds. @
338. You have written over 10 variations on "Three Blind Mice." @
339. You've used trombone oil for fun in bed. @
340. You know the names of every member of your band director's family, but don't know the names of half the people in your regular classes. @
341. You are ashamed that you wanted to try out for an athletic team. @
342. Your social calendar revolves around marching practices. @
343. You think the band director really is God. @
344. You take sadistic pleasure in the fact that you control what dances the cheerleaders do.
345. You use the band room as your locker. ^
346. You know you can fit inside the quad case. $
347. You have to write sentences using vocab words and all of your sentences are about marching band. (e.g. The cajoling percussionist tried to convince the director to let them play a Ricky Martin song.) $
348. Everyone thinks the band room is your homeroom because you're always there. $
349. You know that all marching band members have a special bond. $
350. Upon meeting someone new and finding out that they're in marching band, you can make them your best friend within minutes because of this common bond. $
351. You finally realize that you cannot do what the guard does and you actually give them credit for the difficulty of their routine. ?
352. You go to the band site every day until the season starts just to keep up with the news and gossip. ?
353. You relate better to the other members of your band than to your family. ?
354. You try to talk to your mom and she doesn't understand because you keep referring to inside jokes. ?
355. You have no friends outside of band because everyone else thinks you're too weird. ?
356. You go for a nature hike, find a stick, and start doing drop spins. ?
357. You know everyone by their drill number. ?
358. The lights on the bus go out, and you know you'd better not move to the back. ?
359. You'd rather go to practice than go shopping. ?
360. You realize that football players have it easy. ?
361. You know you won't be getting a water break any time soon, so you always bring your own water bottle. ?
362. You consider members of other bands distant family. ?
363. Your major consideration when choosing a college is how good their marching band is. $
364. Whenever you talk to people who aren't in band, they automatically assume anything you say is directly related to band. &
365. You find more symbolism in a poem about marching band than your English teacher. &
366. You've fallen asleep inside a tuba case. \
367. Your director's corny jokes start to actually be funny. =
368. You know who George N. Parks is.
369. You think George Parks is cool.
370. Your band director ask you to fill in someone's spot for a show b/c you have the entire show memorized. ]
371. Instead of having a party when your parents go away, you have friends over and practice band music until morning. <
372. A CD of your band's music is always in your portable CD player. <
373. The cheerleaders make a sign that says, "We love you band!"
374. Your entire AIM buddy list is in two categories: Band Buddies and The Evil Non-Marchers. }
375. You have an old director's screen name on alert so when he comes on you can talk to him about his band this year. }
376. Your dream is to one day be the lead in a drum corp. }
377. Every year, you dye your hair to match a color of your uniform. }
378. You only go to parties if they're thrown by a bando, or if there will be other bandos there. }
379. The flutes are in tune. }
380. You hear a trumpet player use the words "clarinet" or "flute" and "smart" in the same sentence. }
381. You have perfect attendance at school all season but don't show up as often after the season's over. ?
382. You start speaking on behalf of your entire section. (e.g.: Us trumpets, Us clarinets, etc.) }
383. You know where the drum major buys her underwear. }
384. You try to finish your work early in all your classes so you can go down to the bandroom and do nothing. }
385. You've had so many concussions from the butt of your silk pole that you no longer remember your routines. �
386. You go after the drummers with your silk pole to make them stop those annoying clicks. �
387. Getting soaking wet for the 3rd year in a row while trying to drown freshmen in the visitors' locker room showers becomes FUN. �
388. You think your plume is to be used for sexual reproduction.
389. You no longer think your director is a Nazi.
390. You use a pick-up line that involves band.
391. You know where your director lives.
392. Your arms, legs, and face are ten times darker than the rest of your body.
393. You have year-round tan lines.
394. You know all the cheerleaders' cheers and can do them better than the cheerleaders can.
395. The word 'hut' takes on a whole new meaning.
396. You learn how to French braid.
397. The flutes actually get tired of Skittles. \
398. You still worry about your high school band and how they're doing when you're in college.
399. Members of your band (or you yourself) have ever tried to trap a groundhog inside a tuba (eh hem...Mike and Daryl). **
400. Your cabin has stolen an entire place setting from the mess hall at band camp. **
401. You've marched like a Nazi. **
402. You can pick out parts from previous years' shows in your current show (or parts from Cadets' shows). }
403. You are on the computer all night arguing with an alumus from your band about who has less of a life. }
404. Your director allows you to improv at any point during the show. }
405. You choose to switch instruments on the field in between songs to give a song more sound. }
406. You have a "Band People" category on your buddy list.
407. You're proud to be known as "the band slut."
408. You skip senior sign-in so you can play for the pep rally.
409. Your favorite cartoon character is Squidward from Sponge Bob Square Pants. ::
410. Your favorite cartoon ever is the marching band episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants, even though they call the color guard 'flag twirlers.' ::
411. Every morning before school you hang out in the band room and watch performance tapes. ^^
412. The word 'anti-band' gives you chills. ^^
413. You hallucinate that band members are in your room at night and you are sitting up in bed doing all the horns ups and flashes. ^^
414. You call out commands and march in your sleep. ^^
415. You have the number for the band room phone on speed dial on your home phone AND your cell phone. ^^
416. You conduct in your sleep. ^^
417. You're a senior and can still play the music from your 8th grade year. ^^
418. You finger all of your parts from every show you've done since your freshman year on whatever writing implement you have in your hand at the time. ^^
419. You come to the realization that marching band really is a cult. ^^
420. You can figure out what tone the flush of a toilet is...E flat. ^^
421. You watch tapes of your freshman year show or any past show, get teary-eyed and say, "those were the good old days..." ^^
422. You risk getting caught during class trying to write lists like this. ^^
423. You hear "Sleigh Ride" on the radio and can name the arrangement and tell exactly which grade you played it in. ^^
424. You start to reminisce about how you used to date the drum major, and everybody else remembers that they did too. []
425. You think you saw the colorguard in a STRAIGHT line! []
426. You walk in the band room and start doing the drill and routine that's playing on the TV. []
427. When you want to skip class, you just tell your teacher that you have a band lesson, even though you're in the guard. []
428. You consider your director a legal guardian. []
429. You've ridden to McDonald's in the trunk of a car so you don't have to take another car. []
430. You go to a stadium and start doing the show that you did there the year before. []
431. You think Mrs. Rinker is sane and you start to take her advice on how to do the routine. []
432. You think Mrs. Rinker does a good job making the colorguard flags and costumes. []
433. You know the names of all the freshmen, and you're not even in the band anymore. []
434. You yell at the football players for ruining the field. []
435. 99% of your sexual fantasies take place in or around the Band Room, Band Camp, or some other Band function. )(
436. You actually read through this whole list because it was funny and you got most of the jokes.
437. You can relate to more than a fourth of these things.
438. You can make this list longer.