So many times we find some wisdom in proverbs, and I particularly mean here (if in Rome do as the Romans do) One evening, some time back, about 25 years ago, when I was in Tokyo, Japan, on a training course with few Saudi University colleagues, one of my colleagues dressed in white silky Arabian Thobe as seen worn in Saudi Arabia and most other gulf countries. To our amazement though, many Japanese nationals starred at our friend and whispered to one another. We had at that time a Japanese coordinator whom we asked what they were talking about. Not surprisingly the answer was about the way our friend was dressed.
Indeed your self must have some personal stories of what you saw
people wearing on different
occasion. For instance; can one go to a formal party wearing sports attire? Or
go to the beach wearing formal dress; obviously not.
We recognize a policeman by his uniform or a Restaurant waiter by his dress or a doctor by his robe, and so forth. So in fact a dress signals a message about the person wearing it. Many of us have been to other places in the world on vacation or for a living, and we experienced the feeling of being a stranger in another country. The situation is much worse when the cultural and social background is noticeably different from our own, like Saudi Arabia may be to some, and many come to Saudi Arabia with their own habits and customs.
In a recent release from the department of labor’s affairs the number of expatriates in the Kingdom is about 7.4 million, from 127 different countries
which is in fact about one third of total population!!!.
By observing very simple etiquettes you can really help in preserving our own culture and save yourself unnecessary embarrassment or remarks, and help families in bringing up their youngsters according to the traditions and customs of the Kingdom.
If we go back just a few years in the past where we can see what we watch in some western cowboy movies where ladies dress in long garments and some even cover their heads. It is not our concern here with how this has changed within such a short time; but indeed even in the west wise people don’t like their wives, daughters etc. to be a sex commodity by the way they dress or appear and many appose Ads and media content which commodities female bodies. For an example: What does a shaving blade Ad got to do with a woman in it?
Now lets read these two quotes:
“Woman are not to wear men’s clothing, and men are not to wear women’s clothing; the Lord your God hates people who do such things.”
“And any woman who prays or proclaim God’s message in public worship with nothing on her head disgraces her husband; there is no difference between her and a woman whose head has been shaved.”
Amazingly many who read them think these quotes are from Islamic teachings, while in fact they both are from the Bible (Deuteronomy 22:5) ; (Corinthians 11:5) respectively,
Now lets hear what Qur’an said about the dress.
“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them; and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do; and say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands’ fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers’ or their brothers’ sons or their sisters’ sons, or their women or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or small attendants free of sexual desires, or small children who have no carnal knowledge of women; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah in repentance that ye may be successful”
(Interpretation of the Holy Qur’an Surah An-Nur 24:30-31)
In an other verse the Holy Qur’an Says,
“O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when out doors); that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
(Interpretation of the Holy Qur’an Surah Al-Ahzab 33:59)
Now we obviously see that dress code in Saudi Arabia and the Gulf is really a matter of Religion.
Lets now see some examples of what should men avoid wearing: -
Wearing an earring for men which started as a symbol for gay societies and has now become very common to everyone, is not allowed in Islam, and if you do so you’ll shock others and should accept the consequences of what you may get in to!! Wearing short clothes, above the knee, is not allowed in Islam. Transparent clothes that make apparent your body is also unwelcome attire.
Wearing publicly, symbols of religion like a cross on the neck is obviously not accepted is Islam for both genders, other than that any dress is okay for men.
Ladies should read the biblical verses stated earlier, and should refrain from exposing any part of their body in a preserved conservative Islamic society.
Wearing a Black cloak, called “Abaya” in Arabic, that covers the head and hair usually is enough for a non-muslim women .
Under the Abaya a dress that covers the body decently, e.g.: neck, arm and legs. Should be worn so that if the cloak was to open accidentally there would be nothing to draw unnecessary attention in public.
As I tune sometimes to (NPR) National Public Radio Station they place an Ad to their servicemen and women serving abroad which I roughly quote “Respect the Society of which you are in, don’t get yourself exposed to situations you wouldn’t like to be in, adjust yourself to customs and culture of the host country. That should make your stay more comfortable and enjoyable”.
The Department of State has a similar advise to Americans Residing Abroad on its web page which says: “ Read as much as possible about the country where you plan to reside. Learning about a nation’s culture, customs, people, and history will make your stay more meaningful”.
I think there is a piece of common sense and wisdom in that quote from a big brother.
Learning about Islam will give you an opportunity to understand why
and how Muslims behave, act and live.
Islam is a way of life. Muslims observe the Qur’an and sayings of Prophet in all matters of life, for example: Eating, drinking, dressing, worshipping, buying, selling, politics etc…
As stated by one companion of the Prophet Muhammad “Peace Be Upon Him” that: Islam taught us every thing even as simple as what one should do while in the bathroom where Muslims use their left hand only for cleaning after nature’s call. You can project from that, that Islam has a say in even the simplest aspects of a Muslim’s life.
You may order your free copy of The Concept of Worship in Islam, to learn about this from the publisher; by writing to the address on this pamphlet or by viewing it on the web site (www. jdci.org ) .
Which ever is convenient for you.
Here I’ll list some very simple Etiquettes one can observe while in The Gulf region and especially Saudi Arabia.
* Hand Shaking
You’ll quickly notice that men don’t shake hands with the
strong griped fashion you may
be used to do in north America and Europe. It is usual that a man shakes a hand
of another just quietly, and that should not signal an ill message to you. It is
normal on the other hand that you’ll find men don’t shake women’s hand
that is part of Islamic teachings. This is the same with women shaking men’s
hands. That should not embarrass you, as it is only a religious guidance, and
not intended as any sort of personal insult.
Like with Quaker Christians they don’t shake hands with
the opposite gender.
A muslim who knows his religion will not shake the hand of any woman, even if she is a Muslim woman, unless he is not allowed to marry her, like his mother, sister, daughter of a son… etc.
A part from Islam, it is Arabic custom that when men or women meet with their similar gender they kiss symbolically on each cheek, you’ll see that right from the Airport when you arrive.
* Having a neighbor
Don’t be surprised if your Muslim neighbor cooked you some food and sent it over your house.
This stems from the Prophet’s “Peace Be Upon Him” teachings, who said: (He who believes in Allah and the last day must be hospitable to his neighbor).
In return you may, as is customary to send them a plate of your cooking.
* Arabic Coffee
It is a custom that Arabic Coffee (Gahwa) is served its made of coffee and cardamom) you’ll note that there are certain tradition in serving it. The host will be carrying the coffee pot in the left arm and serving the cups with his right arm. If you’ve had enough just lightly shake the cup, with a quick but subtle twist of your wrist, as you hand it back. You could alternatively cover the top of the cup with your left hand and hand it back to host by your right arm. It is important to give and take things with your right hand as to do so otherwise would be considered irrespective.
* Siesta
Remember that many take a nap (siesta) at around 2:30 – till Al-Asr Prayer, which is about 3:30, so it would not be a good time to make a call.
* It’s a Gift.
Don’t be surprised if you had shown you admiration of something belonging to your host and he makes a gift of it to you. It is quite common and you may accept it.
If on the other hand you brought a gift to an Arab friend don’t be surprised if he doesn’t open it in front of you.
He or she may even sometimes start to kindly tell you “You should not have taken the trouble.” but this is just a figure of speech. You should then insist the gift be accepted and he’ll take it.
* While eating use only right hand
You may happen to notice in a restaurant that Muslims use only their right hand while eating even if they are using a fork and knife for stake. You will see him cut the piece holding the knife in his right hand and then putting it aside and then place the fork in his right hand to eat that cut portion. This is because the Prophet “Peace Be Upon Him” said : eat with you right hand as the shaytan (devil) eats with his left hand.
Other forms of etiquette in Arabia will be published in a coming
Publication of this Center called “Very Simple Arabic and Some Regional Habits and Customs.”
A final word before closing… We would very much like to invite you to learn about Islam and its values and teachings which will assist you in under standing Saudi people and their customs. For Islam is not theory or rituals but really a complete practice in all aspects of life.
Feel free in writing, calling, faxing and/or emailing us at our
address, or use writer’s email ( enghabib@hotmail.com
)
We value your time contacting us.
Thank you once again, and you know you can help us by being good neighbors while you stay among us in Saudi Arabia or any other Gulf country.