A New Head

I am on the outside, of me, looking in
Watching my interactions with others
It is like watching a stranger fumble
And tumble through a maze, and I wonder
How he gets through it, how I, survive
Because I do watch it, the world about me
More than take a part in it. I don’t touch it
It won’t touch me. I am not offended
They say I should be. But if I could be,
That is, if I were offended, then I pretended
And played the part well. And got through it
Because to do it, I would need to go blank
My little mind inside my mind must vanish
I would need a head like theirs. One sequence
Of logic. One perspective. The normal fears
And desires that surround the situation
Not all summed up but studied through
Then I could do it. Could feel the ground
Beneath my feet, could feel! Could deal
With the tiny voice that controls my voice
I could be affected, infected, surprised!
I could alone make a choice, and lie awake
Looking forward, trusting in anticipation
Anticipate! Allow confusion to take its time
Procrastinate and wind up with no answers
Maybe even love.