STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS

When the upheaval begins
The changes within, at first
Just urges and disappointment
Longings and regrets, a thirst
A must quench reckless disregard
For peace and security. The panicked
Feeling of irretrievable time
Like a burst aneurysm, spreading
Through your being like a dose
Of pure evil. Oh! And it happens
It can strike quite unawares
Over dinner, in a glance, it might
Be a routine annoyance
But the light or an angle is shifted
Your view unobstructed
You fears confirmed. You are lifted
High above the place
Out of body, out of mind
In a kind of netherland of introspection
Where the world you thought existed
Had held you. Had made you whole
Suddenly vanished. And one you resisted
The dream, the numerous tiny dreams
Like hands reaching in
Plucked you out and pointed your head
And you saw a future. And looking down
You despise it. The place you are in
And the sin against your soul
How you cheated it, left it behind
When you knew the difference
As if there would always be time
Some immortal sense of time
That you could fix it. You could find
Your way back.

And so, it has begun.
It comes and goes and slows
And tempers everything you do
And races and places everything
From that moment on in jeopardy
And although in its foreboding
It is sinister, you sense it must win
That it is good. It is truth
And with no claim on martyrdom
And no penalty on sin, but death
You must confront your life, the dream
The way you think it must be
Live it and with each new breath
Mold a faith, a belief, that the stream
Of time, or the torrent in your mind
Can be navigated.