CHAPTER NINETEEN – THE VISIT
Nick sighed impatiently, shifting from one foot to another, and glanced at Brian who was leaning over a glass counter. When Brian said he wanted to go shopping Nick didn’t think he meant this. He walked over to his friend, ignoring the stare of the two women employees, and gazed down to see what Brian was examining.
"Come on Bri, decide. Jeez." He reached over and grabbed what was in his friend’s hand, whistling at the price. "Eight thousand dollars?" He remembered the joke Xavier made this morning. "You’re buying this for X? Damn! You’ve never bought me a watch."
Brian took the watch from Nick’s grasp and gave it back to the salesman, nodding his approval. "You never saved my life, Frack," he said dryly.
"Picky, picky," complained Nick good-naturedly. He was relieved to see the salesman wrapping up the package, eager to head over to the sporting goods store he had spied nearby. Brian shoved the small box into Nick backpack, then placed his oversized sunglasses and red baseball cap on.
Nick did the same, only with wrap around frames and a blue cap. Both surveyed their disguises. "You look like a dork," teased Nick. Brian stuck out his tongue. "Yep, act like one too."
Brian held the door open and waved Nick through dramatically. "Okay, your turn to pick."
Nick pointed out the store across the street. Brian smiled, turned to Nick and said, "Race you," sprinting off before his finished speaking the dare. Nick swore, tearing off after him.
* * * * *
The cab driver swung into the coliseum parking lot and came to an abrupt halt at a maintenance entrance. Brian and Nick both leaned over to inspect the meter and Brian groaned. Nick, on the other hand, crowed with delight at the amount displayed and punched his friend in the arm. "Twenty-eight fifty!" he boasted, delighted. "I‘m the closest. I win. Pay him."
Nick jumped out of the car and waited as Brian fished out his wallet. He barely had time to hand the driver his money before the cabbie took off, screeching his tires as he left.
Shaking their heads, they watched the cab driver race away, then looked at each other and began to laugh.
"Damn, he’s almost as bad as those drivers we had in Florence!" Brian commented, remembering the tour they had in Italy.
Nick held open the side door as he and Brian walked through. "Almost," he agreed. They hurried down the hallway, searching for the rest of the gang. They had decided to meet them here at 4:00 p.m., but due to an intense game at an arcade shop, Nick and Brian were late. They jogged swiftly until the reached the arena, scanning for life. Except for a few hands milling about on stage, Kevin, AJ and Howie were nowhere in sight.
Guess we aren’t so late after all," said Nick, relieved.
"Yeah. Let’s go find the others," Brian suggested, nodding towards the backstage. They hopped up easily onto the stage, nodding their hellos to the stagehands.
"Nick!"
Both Brian and Nick turned around to see Aaron come flying down a side aisle. Nick met him halfway and Brian smiled as he watched the two greet each other. Brian’s smile faded as he saw Xavier, slowly walking down the steps behind Aaron. His stomach tightened into knots as he watched Xavier catch up to the two brothers, placing a hand on Aaron’s head and giving a playful ruffle with his hair. Not being able to hear what was said Brian watched their movements, seeing Aaron excitedly turn to Xavier. The young kid’s face was animated, his arms enthusiastically waving as he told some interesting story to Nick that obvious involved the bodyguard. Xavier nodded at something Aaron was describing to Nick then looked up over Aaron’s head to gaze at Brian standing up on the stage. Holding Brian’s eyes with his own he smiled, then in an exaggerated gesture brought his hands around Aaron’s throat, in a dramatic mock strangle.
Sick to his stomach, Brian heard Nick and Aaron laugh at Xavier’s antic, knowing full well Xavier’s real goal. He kept his face impassive, realizing Xavier’s need to get a rise out him. He held Xavier’s stare, calm, not giving an inch. Xavier finally nodded, a faint smile of defeat twisting the corner of his mouth as Brian recognized that he had won this round. Brian exhaled with a shaky breath, not realizing he had been holding it in. He continued to watch the three down below him, his mind racing. He knew with out a doubt that Aaron was in danger. Desperate to get Aaron away from Xavier he nervously bit his lower lip, anxiously searching for an idea. Preoccupied, Brian never heard AJ sneaking up. He grabbed Brian’s shoulders and gave them a shake, leaning close enough to yell "Boo!" in his ear.
In shock, Brian swore angrily at AJ, upset by his mischievous prank.
"Whoa! Bri, chill out, okay?" said AJ, surprised by his hostile manner.
Brian replied with a glare and turned his attention back to Xavier, Nick and Aaron. AJ followed Brian’s lead. "Hey, there’s Aaron. Aaron! Dude!" AJ yelled to catch his attention. Aaron waved at AJ then continued talking to Nick and Xavier. "Cool. When did he get here?"
"Today," Brian answered, noticing Howie and Kevin entering from the far left of the arena with their duffel bags. AJ, noticing Brian’s curt answer, studied his friend who was studying Xavier. Feeling again uncomfortable, AJ figured now was a good time as any to talk to Brian about the bodyguard.
"Hey Brian," AJ began, "what do you think of Xavier?"
Brian stiffened at his question, alarmed. "Think? What do you mean?"
AJ shrugged. "I don’t know. He makes me sorta uneasy, ya know? Like he knows a secret that we don’t. I don’t like him."
Brian felt a rush as his heart began to beat faster. That AJ noticed something peculiar about Xavier was alarming. AJ had good instincts and if he decided to investigate further, the results could be disastrous. Sickened by the prospect, Brian’s fear gave way to anger at AJ’s chillingly accurate opinion. In alarm, Brian turned on his friend.
"You don’t like him?" he sneered. "Because he’s good at his job? Because he saved my ass? Because he’s my bodyguard instead of yours? I think you’re jealous."
AJ, stung by Brian’s vicious attack, was at loss for words, but not for long. "Fuck you, Littrell," he hissed, not wanting the others to hear. "I just thought I’d tell you how I felt."
"Nobody cares what you think, especially me. I like Xavier, so screw you."
AJ took his glasses off to glare at Brian, pissed. "Fine, asshole. Just don’t come running to me if you have a problem."
Brian matched AJ’s glare. "I won’t."
AJ left the stage, ignoring the hellos from Nick and Kevin, who were walking up on stage. Howie jerked a thumb at AJ’s retreating figure. "What’s up with him?" he questioned Brian.
Brian, shaking inside from his confrontation with AJ, shrugged and mumbled, "Who knows?" He felt nauseous and hurried from the stage, in a hurry to find a restroom. He fled past Nick and Aaron, ignoring the interested look from Xavier. Banging the men’s room door open with his foot he ran to the sink, hyperventilating. He grabbed the sides of the porcelin sink with both hands, letting the bowl hold him up as he panted, fighting the urge to vomit.
"Brian?"
Brian twisted his head at the sound of his name and saw Aaron standing in the doorway, a curious look on his face. Brian turned away, not willing to face him. He grabbed the sink tighter, trying to compose his thoughts. Finally he swung his head back look at Aaron, hoping he had the guts to do it. First AJ, now Aaron. He took a deep breath.
"What the hell do you want, Aaron?"
"Uh, I just wanted to say hi, see if you’re okay."
"Do I look okay?" Brian barked.
"No."
"Smart boy. Now why don’t you just leave? Better yet, why don’t you go back home?"
"Huh?"
Brian could hear the confusion in Aaron’s voice and forced himself to go on. "You heard me. You really are a pain-in-the-ass, Aaron, you know that? Nobody wants you here, especially me. I had planned to do some things with Nick, but we can’t, now that you’re here."
Aaron couldn’t answer, the stunned look on his face preventing him from speaking.
Brian smiled grimly at Aaron, shoving himself away from the sink and walked menacingly over to him. Aaron stepped back a few paces, alarmed by Brian’s presence.
"Go home," Brian whispered cruelly. "And quit hanging around Xavier. He’s my bodyguard. I’m not gonna pay good money to have him babysit you."
"But Nick wants…" Aaron started.
"Nick doesn’t want you around either. He only took you because of your whining. Grow up, you little asshole."
Aaron looked down at his shoes, shaken at Brian’s words. "Okay," he said softly.
Brian sucked in his breath, not daring to hope. "Okay, what?"
"I’ll leave."
Brian tried not to show the relief in his voice. "Good. And if you’re a man, you won’t whine and cry about it. Just keep it to yourself, okay?"
Aaron didn’t reply, and Brian anxious to make sure, grabbed Aaron’s face with his hand.
"Right?"
Brian saw the tears forming in Aaron’s eyes but they didn’t spill. "Right," he whispered.
"Good. Now get the fuck outta here."
Brian watched as Aaron fled, weak with relief. He could hardly believe it. It worked. He started to laugh shakily at the thought of using intimidation to get what he wanted. That was Xavier’s trick and he had just used it successfully in the game of wills against the bodyguard.
Brian walked tiredly over to the sink again and turned on the faucet. He stuck his hands under the cool water then brought them up to his face, watching himself in the mirror. He stared at his reflection for a moment. He thought about the pain and hurt he caused and would probably cause again to insure everyone’s safety. But I can do it, he thought with wonder. I can survive this game and I’m going to win. Even if it kills me.
CHAPTER TWENTY – BEFORE THE SHOW
Brian was impressed. Under the harsh lights of the dressing room he inspected his neck and face in the mirror. Not a trace of Xavier’s marks could be seen. The wonders of stage makeup he thought. The first time AJ had come in to get something he ignored Brian completely. The second time he entered he reached for a certain item, "accidentally" bumping into Brian in the process. Brian sighed, knowing tonight’s concert would not be pretty. From past experience, when AJ was ticked off, you could expect the unexpected. Oh well. I can take his crap.
He looked around the room for the ever-present water cooler. He was dead tired, with no sleep last night and the rigors of a concert ahead of him. He needed to start hydrating himself right now, or he would never make it. He filled up a large cup of water, downed it, and refilled another.
"Save some for the fish," joked Xavier. Brian ignored him and finished his drink, pissed at Xavier’s ability to appear without a sound. He walked over to bench, picked up a package and tossed it to the bodyguard.
"Here’s a little token of my appreciation for all you’ve done," Brian said bitterly. He watched as Xavier opened the gift and inspected the Rolex. "You do know how to tell time, don’t you?"
Xavier slapped the watch on his wrist and grinned, not minding the sarcasm. He reached into his pocket and pulled out two backstage passes. "I’ve got something for you too," he said slyly, tossing the tickets onto the makeup table. Brian went over to retrieve them, confused, until he realized what they were. He picked them up and stared at them dumbly, unable to accept the meaning these two small pieces of paper held. Finally he turned to face Xavier, powerless to speak.
Xavier seemed to understand and he nodded. "Melissa and Jessica couldn’t make it. They had other plans."
Brian sat heavily on a chair, overcome. He looked up at Xavier, trying to hide the horror in his eyes. How could Xavier possibly know about the tickets? How did he know their names? He could hardly form the words. "Please, please tell me you didn’t hurt them."
Xavier almost felt bad as he heard the anguish in the young singer’s voice. Almost. "Okay," he repeated cheerfully. "I won’t tell you I hurt them."
Xavier’s nonchalance hit Brian like a sledgehammer. He covered his eyes and leaned forward, rocking back and forth. He stopped after a moment, took his hands away from his face and spoke quietly.
"Why? They were nothing to you. Nothing. I thought the rules of the game..."
Brian didn’t have a chance to finish before Xavier came up, grabbing the nape of Brian’s neck and forcing him to look upwards. Xavier bent down his face just inches from Brian’s. "First," he whispered, "there are no rules. Second, the fun is in watching you suffer." He roughly released his grip and walked away. "Who cares about those two bitches?"
"Then...you didn’t harm them?"
Xavier gave him a fake hurtful look. "I told you I didn’t. Let’s just say though, that I persuaded them that should stick with NSYNC." He laughed at his own joke.
Brian felt a rush of relief and anger flood him at the same time, relieved that the two girls were okay and angered at the way Xavier had tricked him. Unwilling to reveal any of the torment Xavier had just put him through, Brian looked at him unemotionally. "I’m kinda busy here, getting ready for the show. Any more tricks you want to pull, any more watches you need?"
Xavier smiled at the tone in the Backstreet Boy’s voice. "No, not at the moment. But I’ll let you know."
"I’m sure you will." Brian stood up and walked over to the door. He swung it open, motioning for him to leave. Xavier took the cue with good nature, amused at the singer’s insolence. He stopped at the door to give Brian a last shot. He hoped that this one would sting.
"Cute kid," was all he said before he left.
Brian managed to keep his face straight as Xavier left. He swiftly locked the door, barring anyone from entering. He slumped to the ground, his back leaning on the closed door for support. He closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind, to concentrate on anything but what Xavier had just said. It was impossible, of course. Cute kid. He shuddered and hoped desperately that his plan with Aaron worked. Brian pulled himself into an upright position, determined to tough out these mental mind games that Xavier enjoyed inflicting upon him. He unlocked the door, reached for another cup of water, drank it, then began to exercise his voice. It was sore, nothing more.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE – THREE DOWN, ONE TO GO
"Brian!"
Brian jerked awake, disoriented. He discovered two blue eyes peering into his and a hand waving in front of his face. "Hi, Nick," he mumbled, struggling to clear free of the chair he had been slumped in. "Guess I fell asleep. What time is it?"
"About one hour before show time. You okay?" Nick came nose to nose with his friend, smiling comically and crossing his eyes. Brian gave a small laugh and shoved Nick away from him, waving the air.
"I will be after you take some mints. What, did Howie order Oriental again?" His stomach rumbled at the thought.
"Mexican. Come on, I saved some for you. Got any gum?"
Brian shook his head no and they headed down the corridor, weaving past the various backstage help. He could hear the band for the opening act vibrate through the walls and Brian stopped for a second, then motioned for Nick to follow him.
"What?" said Nick, interested. Brian waved him off, heading near the end of the stage, seeing the multi-colored lights blinking erratically. Nick grabbed Brian’s arm, yelling to be heard over the music. "Are you nuts? If the fans see us, they’ll go crazy!"
Brian cupped his hand to Nick’s ear. "Just a peek. They won’t see us, I promise." The two snuck up near the edge, far enough to blend into the dark background, close enough to view the arena. Several stagehands gave the two startled looks but said nothing. Brian and Nick watched silently, observing the concert in progress. Nick felt Brian tug at his arm and turned to follow the retreating singer.
They continued down the aisle. "What was all that about?" questioned Nick.
Brian shrugged at Nick. "I don’t know. Curious, I guess." He sighed and Nick caught the melancholy in it. He stopped and looked at Brian, waiting for an explanation. "Nick, you ever wish you could go back to the beginning, start all over? That we were just us, not the Backstreet Boys?"
Nick thought Brian was joking and started to laugh. "Sure, all the time Bri. Wealth, fame and all the cute girls you could want isn’t what it’s cracked up to be!" Brian smiled back at his friend, immediately grateful that Nick thought he was teasing and nothing more. He couldn’t afford to let his guard slip like he just did, and it made him realize that he would have to be more careful in the future.
The two Backstreet Boys entered a smallish room to see the rest of the gang finishing up their meal. Brian and AJ's eyes met briefly then AJ broke contact, getting up from his chair and going over to the trash can to dump the rest of his meal. He said a quick "later" and left the room and Brian tried to act indifferent as he glanced at what was left of the take-out order.
Nick sat in the now vacant seat, spreading his long legs before him and clasping his hands behind his neck, watching as Brian scooped some food onto a plate. "I wonder where Aaron is?" he said to no one in particular.
Brian tried casually to place the last spoonful onto his plate and sat down next to Howie. He knew he needed to eat, so he struggled with a few bites before giving up, his appetite gone.
Kevin, reading a magazine, glanced over the top at Nick. "Last time I saw him, he was on the phone, talking to your mom, I think."
Nick snorted. "Big baby. He stood up and stretched. "Guess I’ll go try to find him."
Brian kept his head down as Nick left, not hearing Howie’s question.
"Brian!"
Brian looked up, startled. "What?"
"I asked how are things going."
"Oh, not bad. Thanks."
Howie glanced over to Kevin and Brian caught the tension between them, especially from Kevin. Brian pushed his food away and looked at his cousin, sensing trouble.
"Okay, what’s up?" he said directly to him.
"Oh, I just was wondering when you were going to tell me Harold was in the hospital or that Sam was missing," Kevin drawled sarcastically.
Brian groaned inwardly; so much for Aunt Ann keeping her mouth shut.
"Listen, I swear I was gonna to tell you...,"Brian began but was quickly cut off by Kevin, unwilling to listen to his explanation.
"Shit, you’re not my only cousin, ya know. And my mom is sick about Sam disappearing." Kevin threw down his magazine disgustedly and jumped up, coming over to jab at Brian’s chest with his finger. "I think you need to wear a T-shirt that says, "Me first, second, and last" cause that’s only who you care about!"
Brian jumped up too. "You’ve got it all wrong. I..."
Kevin again cut him off. "There’s that "I" again. Listen, don’t talk to me until you learn how to say ‘I’m sorry’." He shoved roughly at a chair that was in his way, then stormed out of the room.
Brian watched as he cousin exited then turned to see Howie still sitting in his chair, his face perplexed as he took in the whole scene before him. Brian picked up his now cold food and threw it away, trying not to pay attention to Howie’s quizzical stare.
"Hey Brian, whassup, man?" he said so sympathetically that Brian ached from his caring tone. He shook his head, unable to face him, scared that somehow Howie would be able to read his mind if he looked at him. He mumbled something to the effect that he was tired, that the stress of the intruder made him forget. Brian wasn’t sure Howie believed him but he said nothing further and Brian sighed in relief, hoping the subject was closed.
The door opened again with a bang and both remaining Backstreet Boys turned, Brian half-expecting another round with Kevin. It wasn’t Brian’s cousin, but Nick, and if it was possible, he looked even madder than Kevin.
"He’s gone!" Nick yelled at Brian.
Howie glanced at Brian and was surprised to see almost relief on his face, as if he knew why Nick was so livid. "Who?" questioned Howie.
Nick ignored Howie and his question completely, marching over to Brian. "Aaron’s gone; what the fuck did you say to him?"
"He’s left? Are you sure? When did he leave?"
Irritated, Nick grabbed Brian by the shoulder. "Yes! One of the bodyguards told me that he took him to the airport about a half and hour ago. Said Aaron looked like he was crying and that you had something to do with it!"
Brian was alarmed. "Bodyguard? Nick, which bodyguard?"
"Damn! It was Eric! Who cares which bodyguard? I wanna know what the hell you said! Now!"
Trying not to show the elation he felt over one problem solved, Brian realized he had another one looming by not having foreseen the consequences with Nick. "I…I thought it would be better for Aaron to leave, considering the threats and all," he explained lamely.
Nick stared at him, not believing a word. "Threats? You’re the one who got them, not Aaron! And why would that make him cry? God dammit, Brian, what did you say to him?"
Drained mentally and physically, Brian felt his temper rise from the sheer frustration of trying to cover up everything. "I just told Aaron that he was a pain-in-the-ass! And he is! I told him to quit being such a cry-baby and not to bug us, to go home. And he did. So what the big deal? He shouldn’t be here anyway, when we’re on tour. He’s just a distraction." Brian tried not to wince as he saw Nick’s expression of disbelief change to one of anger.
"What the hell gives you the right? He’s my brother, and he can come any damn time he pleases! I can’t believe you did this to Aaron, to me! What kind of a fucking friend are you, anyway?" Nick towered over Brian as he shouted his resentment and Brian realized for the first time just how intimidating Nick could be. He took a step back out of reflex but kept firm mentally, knowing he’d probably lost Nick’s trust forever but willing to accept that for the sake of Aaron’s safety.
"Who cares? He’s a pest, I’m glad he’s gone," Brian heard himself jeer back. "And if you can’t accept that, then maybe I’m not your friend."
Nick looked at Brian, as if seeing a total stranger. He couldn’t believe what Brian was saying to him, yet here Brian was, talking to him as if this was no big deal. He backed slowly away from Brian, unsure, confused, and angry, his hands up as if he could ward off any other thing Brian might say.
"Anyone who would do that to my brother is not my friend. I don’t know why you did that and right now I don’t care. Just stay away from me, got it?" Nick turned around and left, slamming the door with a resounding crash.
Brian stared at the closed door for a moment, trying to regain some of his composure. He finally faced Howie, who had watched the whole scene explode before him. He half-smiled at him, embarrassed that Howie witnessed the whole thing. "Well," he sighed.
"AJ’s pissed, Kevin won’t talk to me, and I’ve just lost a friend. I guess you’re next."
Howie rose from his seat and walked over to where Brian was slumped in a chair. Brian looked exhausted and Howie felt bad about what had just happened, unsure of what to say or do. Brian’s behavior was definitely unusual, but he guessed he couldn’t really blame him, considering the past few days. He placed a sympathetic hand on Brian’s shoulder.
"Come on. It’s almost time for the show. You’ll be okay Brian," he said softly.
Brian struggled out of his chair, grateful beyond words at his show of support. He nodded and slowly followed Howie out.