Do you know
My story from the start?
And do you know me
Like you’ve always told me?
Do you see
The whispers in my heart against your kindness
My eternal blindness
Do you see?

Do you see a brighter day for me?
Another day?
A day?
Do you wonder whats in store for me?
The cure for me?
The way?

He was starting over.

He was gonna be Justin this time. Not Justin Timberlake, superstar.

And, he thought as he stood outside the quaint little apartment, he had some old scores to settle.

He brought his hand up, his fist heavy on the simple wood. He took a deep breath and pretended like he wasn’t this close to pissing himself.

When JC answered, yes, Justin was this close to fainting, vibrant glass eyes and dark hair and... He had missed him way too much.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, the other’s eyes still wide.

Justin wanted to touch him, just wanted to hold him against his chest, feel his fingers upon his own body. Three years was too long.

“Hey, C! I’m gonna jet-- Oh, sorry.”

A girl stood behind JC, her dark eyes trying to find a quick explanation and Justin sucked on his teeth loudly; a reflex he couldn’t help.

The girl shrugged and looked at JC when she passed, mumbling a soft “I’ll be back later.” When the brunette looked back up, Justin wasn’t even trying to hide his unamusement.

“Just a roommate,” JC was quick to dispel the assumption and Justin glanced up at JC, it being the first time he had talked to him in so long.

“Good, then I’m not worried,” he smiled but JC frowned and looked to his shoes.

Once the silence was almost unbearable, JC swallowed and his lashes lowered against his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Justin dared to step closer and JC inhaled loudly, the blonde bowing his head.

“I... I wanted to see you. I thought that was clear.”

JC stepped outside, closing the door behind him. His hand raised slowly, Justin watching it with bated breath. Once those soft fingers grazed his cheek, the young man was melting, sighing as those fingers traced his lips. He had waited so long...

He kissed the tip of JC’s index finger, opening his eyes to the brunette watching him steadily. He pressed his lips to the hand again, hoping JC could see what was going through is mind, knowing he didn’t have the balls to say it aloud.

“I missed you, so much,” was the strangled whisper and Justin blinked lazily as JC’s hand slipped around to the back of his neck, bringing him closer, his lips tingling in anticipation.

“But.”

And nothing more was to be said as JC pulled away, sad eyes retreating and Justin’s chest started aching as he stepped closer.

“No, no. I waited for–“

”I doubt that. You probably forgot me the second I left D.C.” JC was taking another pace back but Justin was right there, in his face.

“No, I’m not gonna let you play me, or yourself like that. And I don’t wanna talk about this anymore. I want you and you can’t twist that around. I want you for all that you are, so fucking deal with it.”

JC opened his mouth to reply but the words were caught in Justin’s mouth as the blonde’s lips settled on his, a warm hand cradling the brunette’s cheek, a promising touch of Justin’s tongue.

No questions asked.

_ _ _ _ _

JC let his head fall back against his bedroom door, panting as Justin’s tender touch slipped down his neck, slender fingers slipping around his stomach, talented digits slipping into his jeans. Justin’s lips burned JC’s navel and he supressed a loud moan.

“Wait.”

And that wasn’t JC, who had a white knuckled grip on the doorknob. Justin stood from unbuttoning JC’s pants and slid his body agianst the brunette’s, his lips sloppy as they pressed kisses along JC’s jaw.

“What?” the older man breathed and pressed his hips against Justin’s, trembling at the feeling.

“I don’t want this to be like last time,” the blonde mumured into his skin, nipping at JC’s adam’s apple. JC shook his head absently.

“It won’t,” he undulated against Justin, sighing into the open air, “It’ll be better,” he promised opening his eyes when Justin stopped touching him, stepped away and stared. The brunette bit his lip and cursed himself. He shouldn’t have said that... whatever it was.

“No, that’s not what I’m talking about.” JC reached for Justin and the blonde denied him. “Do you remember–“

”Yes, alright? Just...” Shit, not again, tears stinging his eyes whenever he thought of then. “It’s never gonna happen, ok? Please, for your sake, give it up–“

”I don’t think I can, that’s what you’re not getting.” And Justin stepped closer then, his body flush against the other man, but this time JC was looking away and he didn’t want to go through this tonight.

“Can we please.” He touched Justin and the blonde slipped even closer, their lips carressing and JC took a deep breath when Justin sank to his knees again. But this time, he frowned aginst tears as he came.

_ _ _ _ _

His hand palmed the wall, his bitten nails silent as they raked over the panel. Justin kissed his mouth, his tongue slick and mimicking their rhythm and JC swallowed everything Justin had to give him.

He absently realized this was the first they ever fucked on an actual bed.

Justin was mumbling into his ear, things he couldn’t quite decipher but it was nice, none the less. Just being able to hear his voice, his lips grazing his skin enough alone to make him cream.

Justin grabbed his hips tight and JC swallowed his warning, coming when Justin groaned his name.

The blonde bit JC’s jaw, licking the abused skin as he kept going, shuddering with a stutter as he came also.

The two men laid, crushed together as tightly as possible, Justin scared if he let go, it would all be over.

“Justin...”

Justin swallowed loudly in the otherwise silent room, their labored breaths silent to everything but them.

“Look–“

”Please don’t tell me I have to leave.”

JC frowned and buried himself deeper, hating himself for giving in and tasting what he couldn’t have.

“JC, look–“

”Justin, please, for me, stop. You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve been through, what I’m doing, what... what I– just stop, right now! This is ridiculous!” he shouted, pushing away harshly, his throat tightening as he started out of the bed.

“No, no no no,” Justin chanted as he chased JC, grabbing his arm and pulling him close. “Please... Just... be with me. I promise I’ll treat you good. I’ll be everything you need, I promise.”

“But... I can’t–“

”You can, with me, you can. I don’t care about your past. I don’t care that you don’t think you’re worthy because something fucked with your head. JC, answer me this, would I be here if I didn’t want you?”

JC was ready with a quick yes but all the fight was drained from him and he frowned, taking a trembling sigh. “Why are you doing this?”

Justin didn’t want to smile but he knew the young man’s defense was crumbling. “I love you.” The body beneath him tensed and twisted buthis grip was hard and JC whined as he started panting, eyes narrowed at Justin.

“You don’t get it. Refuse me this time and I’ll be back tomorrow. JC, god, you’d think I’d be able to forget over the years but...” He lifted the young man’s chin. “But I can’t and I can’t leave you alone and I don’t think I ever will be able to. Fuck who I am, whether I’m on some stage, some singer that you fuck backstage or just a long lost friend, here to remind you that you love me too. JC, you’ve got to believe me.”

JC stayed silent, pressing his face into Justin’s naked chest, feeling extremely childish; loving the affection. He didn’t want Justin’s words to seep to far into him but when the young man was holding him like he loved him, touched him like he loved him, God.

“It’s so hard. It’s not fair.”

Justin kissed his hair and he cringed.

“Do you believe me?”

Yes. Yes. Yes. “No... Yes.” His arms tightened around Justin’s waist, scared to death, but feeling so overwhelmed with this man, he couldn’t possibly deny it.

“JC, fuck everything else. Fuck everyone else. Love me like you want to, love me like you need to. Just... be with me.”

His mind was already made up, Justin too strong to fight, to gorgeous too deny.

“Ok.”

OK resounded throughout the room, throught Justin head and he sighed, pulling JC closer, loving that the man tightened his arms in response.