Reality

Your arms were around me and I couldn’t help but sigh, your cheek so close to mine and it was surreal, so surreal, to finally to have you. My chest ached momentarily at the thought.

Your lips were soft as they grazed my cheek, my chin, my jaw, and you paused, looking at me with those crystal eyes, asking like the gentlemen you were for acceptance and I couldn’t help but smile your way. I licked my lips and almost melted when your own moist lips slid across mine, then again, and again, our heads cocking at different angles. I didn’t care that I couldn’t breathe, just that I had dreamed of this for years and it was finally happening. I started to feel lightheaded and you pulled away, licking my lips breifly before smiling, your hands tightening around my waist.

I pulled you closer, my lips brushing against your neck, a simple kiss and you sighed into my ear, your hot breath sweeping me into desire’s chamber quickly, as cliche as it sounded.

“God,” you panted and I closed my eyes, letting my tongue lick up to your earlobe, sucking on the skin as you mumured into my own ear, your hands wandering my back slowly, my muscles flinching under your fingertips.

“Justin,” you breathed and I mewed, pressing you closer, wanting you impossibly closer and you laughed, my face burning red. But my hands still held you tightly, our bodies so close I could feel your heartbeat against my own chest, and I’m just a walking cliche, aren’t I?

But I don’t care, because you’re kissing my neck, whispering all the things you want to do to me, all the things you’ve been waiting to do to me and I shiver as you bite my neck, marring me as I fall.

Your hands are slyer than I could have ever imagined as they slide between us and start unbuckling my belt with one hand, the other running over my chest and I’m suddenly scared. You have your opinions, your likes and I’m scared I’m not what you like, what you want. I’m not as fit as others, I don’t have the chiseled abs your last boyfriend did and my stomach clenched, my eyes fluttering open as I watched you and gasped as your eyes peered into mine. I closed them again when you leaned forward, your lips kissing mine and that’s all I need, that’s all the convincing I crave because I put a hand over yours and guide them into my open pants, hoping you like it, not worrying as our tongues touch timidly.

“Just,” you say into my mouth and I want to swallow the words, hold them forever ‘cause it’s my name and you’re the one saying it... Sound crazy enough to you?

But if you had been waiting for this fateful day for months and months, you’d be just as crazy, I guarantee it.

“Justin,” you repeat and I pull away, wondering what it is, hoping you just like the way my name rolls off your tongue, I sure do.

“J. Dude.”

I pull back and blink a couple times, the scenario disolving into the background until it’s just you, in my face, bright blue eyes smiling at me as you lean over me, your hand on my shoulder.

“What?” I croaked out as the blackness faded and the bright sunlight from the windows was too vibrant to pay attention to. Oh. God.

“Have a nice dream?” you laughed and I tried to smile but my heart was beating a mile a minute and I couldn’t help as the tears stung the back of my eyes and the lump in my throat rose. So close and yet, so far.

And, I wouldn’t be justified as thoroughly cliche if I didn’t end it on a note like this, but as they all say in those fairy tales, it was just a dream.

I looked to you, who had cocked your head at me, those eyes still bright and my chest ached.

And it would always be just a dream.