|
|
|
An Awesome God Through "Suffering"
At the time Debbie was attending Slippery Rock University and had she been in school, she would not have been able to go. If my son, Kevin, was living with me, I would not have been able to go. (Little did I know in the Fall of that year when Kevin went to live with his father, what the future held in store for me. Looking back upon this devastating decision, I can see that the Lord was making a way.) Kevin had spent 10 days with his Uncle Chuck, who he adored, for Christmas not knowing of Chuck's condition. Upon arrival in Florida, Chuck was there with Kevin to greet us since Kevin had a flight back home 2 hours after our arrival. Upon seeing Chuck, he appeared to be doing fairly well as he was able to walk through the airport with little, if any, difficulty. When we took Debbie to the airport to go home (as her semester was about to begin at Slippery Rock), which was 7 days later, Chuck needed a wheelchair at the airport. His condition was worsening by the day. But praise God, we arrived soon enough to spend some real quality time with him. While Debbie and I were in Florida, Chuck's pastor came over to the house and Chuck rededicated his life to the Lord. Previously, he had been backsliding and this was an answer to many years of prayer. What a blessing it was for Debbie and I to witness his rededication. The Lord has given me peace and comfort beyond measure in knowing that my brother is with the Lord for this has been the first time that I have known without a doubt that a family member or a friend is definitely with the Lord. The following week, Chuck and I went to Gainesville for a second opinion. The doctors opined that Chuck had 3 months to live. I had intended to go to Florida for only 2 weeks with the idea in mind that I would bring Chuck back to Cleveland with me. After a week there, I knew without a doubt that Florida was where he belonged and that I should remain with him for the duration. The Lord brought my thinking into perspective regarding my attendance at night school majoring in court reporting during this time. He redirected my focus and showed me what is important, which was another answer to prayer. The Lord had finally gotten me still long enough for me to be able to listen to which He had in mind for me. I called my employer and notified her that I may be gone for 3 months. She regrettably informed me that the Family Leave Act only included spouse, parents and children -- not siblings. My supervisor was more upset over this than I was and the Lord gave me the ability to console her. Normally, I have difficulty making any decision; however, my mind was always firm regarding the fact that I should remain in Florida at any cost -- even the cost of my employment. The Lord had given me a great peace over all this. My supervisor was willing to refer the matter to management to see if an exception could be made since Chuck was my next-of-kin. When management granted this request, I knew it was the Lord's will for me to stay in Florida. I was so blessed to have Mike backing me up and going along with any decisions I made. He held my life together back in Cleveland during my absence. Chuck had been receiving Workers' Compensation during his early illness before the diagnosis. I called them and the checks continued in spite of the fact that the main reason for his inability to work was the cancer. If these checks had discontinued, Chuck would have had a major financial problem. My cousin, Craig, had opened a "Friends Fund" in order to cover Chuck's and my expenses during his illness. Chuck was unable to obtain any life insurance; therefore, we had no idea of how we were going to pay for his funeral. Friends and customers responded generously and all of Chuck's funeral expenses were covered by this fund. Fortunately, we did not have to use this fund for medical or living expenses because the Lord was providing by other means. When we returned from Gainesville, we called Hospice, an organization that assists terminally ill patients and their families. Hospice immediately stepped in and greatly relieved Chuck from the pain he was experiencing. Hospice also took over all the concerns with insurance, social security, and other paperwork. (I had spent the entire first week of my visit on the phone trying to sort this all out. Because of Hospice, I was able to spend quality time with my brother and assist him with the emotional trauma he was experiencing. We were blessed by having such a supportive agency as the one in Chuck's county. The team (nurse, social work, nurse's assistant and chaplain) were extremely supportive and very caring. When you have 4 people involved, I would think there may be one bad egg in the bunch. Not so in this case. During this month with Chuck, he had opportunities to get his life in order and to convey to me his desires. At Chuck's request, I asked attorney I work with to draft a Quit Claim Deed transferring his house into my name. Ten days later, my attorney overnighted the Deed. I received it on Thursday and Chuck signed it on Friday. Had the Deed been mailed one day later, Chuck would not have been able to sign it. I had also asked my attorney to send me the papers necessary for me to take a loan against my pension plan in anticipation of the fact that I expected to be out of work without pay for 2 months. I never received the paperwork and I never needed the loan. The Lord knew what was important and what was not and had everything under control. During my stay in Florida, relationships became closer with 3 of my cousins. Wounds were healed and relationships were restored. Mike came down to visit Chuck 1 week after our trip to Gainesville. The Lord provided that all of Chuck's immediate family had an opportunity to spend quality time with him. While Mike was in Florida, Mike and Craig (my cousin) had arranged for us along with 10 of Chuck's employees to take a one-day cruise to the Bahamas on Saturday, January 21, with Chuck being the guest of honor, of course. Chuck had always wanted to go on a cruise. My major concern about this trip was if Chuck would have enough strength and energy to enjoy it. Chuck and I prayed that the Lord meet Chuck's needs and enable him to enjoy himself. The Lord answered this prayer; and as it turned out, Chuck had more energy than I did. Actually I gave out at 9:30 p.m. while Chuck was still going strong. Everybody had an absolutely marvelous time. Chuck came close to running out of oxygen, but fortunately the Lord supplied this necessity in that the ship's doctor had a spare tank, which Chuck was able to use, plus we reserved just enough oxygen to get Chuck from the ship back home. It was actually a miracle that I even noticed that he was running out of oxygen because I was so confident that we had more than enough. I just "happened" to notice the tank running low. Chuck was able to witness to his roommate about a personal relationship with the Lord. My husband was also able to speak to Chuck's roommate while in Florida. The doors were opening and the seeds have been planted. During Chuck's illness, he was not afraid of dying -- just the dying process. When his feet became very swollen, that bothered him more than his lack of oxygen. However, the Lord spared him of so many conditions that could have taken place. For instance, he never had to rely on a wheelchair in his home. Matter of fact, 4 days before he died, he was able to drive his truck, which was a treasure to him. If Chuck had any idols, it was his truck. Fortunately or unfortunately, Chuck came to the realization that he couldn't really enjoy his truck any more. I believe God was preparing him for his departure from this world. On Friday, I called Chuck's pastor as he was getting ready to leave for a 2-week missionary trip to India. My concern was that Chuck would die before he got back from his trip and we weren't sure what to do if that should happen. The pastor felt very strongly that Chuck was not going to die while he was on his trip. Little did any of us know that Chuck would die just before he left for the trip. It was suggested to Chuck that a hospital bed be brought in just in case he may need it one day. He kept rejecting this idea (in the same way he rejected the idea of oxygen being brought into his home) until Friday, January 27. I explained to him that it would be a good idea to have it available and that he would not have to use it; but it would be available to us if he may need it. He finally relented and lo and behold the very next evening, he needed it. Chuck was so close to the end of his life when he needed the hospital bed, it didn't even phase him nor do I think he even realized he was in that bed instead of his regular bed. Our cousins, Judi (from Buffalo, NY) and Dewey (from St Petersburg) arrived on Friday. They had planned to arrive on Monday, January 30th, but they changed their minds at the last minute. Little did they know that the Lord was instrumental in this. They arrived at Chuck's home at 11:00 p.m. At the time, I thought they were being very inconsiderate in arriving at such a late hour. The 3 of them talked about the good old days and had a lot of good laughs. Chuck thoroughly enjoyed the visit. Had Judi and Dewey arrived on Monday, the 30th, it would have been too late and had they not come on Friday night at 11:00, Chuck would not have been able to hold the conversation that he did. Some times our ways are not the Lord's. In the late afternoon of Saturday, Chuck was not himself. It later became known to us that the oxygen was not getting to his brain. At 10:00 p.m., I called Hospice and asked that a nurse be sent over to assess the situation. She arrived at 10:45 and Chuck slipped into a coma at 11:00 p.m. The nurse advised us that he could be in a coma for days or possibly even weeks because his heart was so strong and young. The Lord spared all of us from that and took Chuck home 14 hours later. While Chuck was in a coma, he gave me the best gift anybody could have given me. He called out my mother's name. Therefore, I knew without a doubt for the first time in 25 years that my Mom is with the Lord. Chuck's assistant pastor came over to the house on Sunday morning during the 2nd worship service while Chuck was still in a coma. He and his wife ministered to Chuck and we then had a worship service with our family in Chuck's living room. After the pastor left, my cousins, Craig and Tommy were getting ready to go home. "Something" stopped them from leaving and about 10 minutes later, Chuck went to be with the Lord. Dewey and Judi were planning on returning to St. Petersburg that evening. Judi decided (with some prompting from me) to stay through the funeral. I was not looking forward to everybody going home. It was a true blessing to me to have her with me during the next couple of days. I couldn't have done it without her. The Lord does meet all of our needs. It has always been my experience that the worst in people come out at funerals. Not so in this case. Everything ran just as smooth as could be and actually the best in people came out. I knew without a doubt that God was in total control of the entire situation. During Chuck's childhood, my parents were informed by the doctors that they didn't expect Chuck to live past the age of 19. We had 22 extra years with Chuck. I am truly blessed. And now Chuck is in paradise praising and worshipping the Lord. Yes, I am sad for me; however, I know that this is just a temporary separation. And the joy I have in knowing that Chuck is with the Lord certainly outweighs any sadness that I may experience, which is another gift from God. The Lord's miraculous works didn't stop on the day of the funeral. I called the individual who was holding Chuck's mortgage note. Since this was a balloon note which was due in May of 1993, I was very hesitant to call for fear of her calling the note due and payable right then and there. My fears were needless, and she was very compassionate and understanding. I explained the situation to her and the fact that I just couldn't make a decision right then and there of what to do with the house. She gave me another 6 months to try to figure everything out. She even conveyed to me her sadness at Chuck's departure and told me what a wonderful person he was. Upon returning home to Cleveland, I found a sympathy card from her. This was quite amazing to me. The amount of encouragement and caring I received was overwhelming. I was inundated with cards. Then the people at work presented me with a card. They had taken up a collection to help defray some of my expenses. By the way, I was away from the office for 6 weeks. I only lost 1 day of pay. God's timing was, again, perfect in every way. When I returned home, the Lord laid it on my heart to write a diary so that I would not forget all the marvelous works He had performed. What started out to be a diary, has now become a testimony of how the Lord can and does work in every one of our lives. I am certainly not a writer and none of this is from me, but from the Lord. As the Lord gave me ideas, I would write them down. Our God is truly awesome. The Lord continues to hold me in the palm of His hand. I give Him all the praise, honor and glory for all that He has done. I couldn't have done any of it without Him. Will you give your heart to the Lord and give your family and friends the privilege of knowing without a doubt that you are with the Lord when you leave this earth? You couldn't give anybody, especially yourself, a better gift.
|
