The Wabbett Test

Here's an interesting way to look at the accusations of "Bible contradictions" that Bible critics are always making. To show some principles of understanding the Bible, I've devised a little game. But first, let's list the "Bible contradictions" we'll be dealing with. There are supposedly contradictions among the verses in each set listed below. Here's the list (these are actual accusations made by actual Bible critics):

"BIBLE CONTRADICTIONS":

GE 7:7 Noah and his clan enter the Ark. GE 7:13 They enter the Ark (again?).

GE 10:5, 20, 31 There were many languages before the Tower of Babel. GE 11:1 There was only one language before the Tower of Babel.

GE 16:15, 21:1-3, GA 4:22 Abraham had two sons, Ishmael and Isaac. HE 11:17 Abraham had only one son.

GE 1:31 God was pleased with his creation. GE 6:5-6 God was not pleased with his creation.

GE 2:15-17, 3:4-6 It is wrong to want to be able to tell good from evil. HE 5:13-14 It is immature to be unable to tell good from evil.

GE 17:15-16, 20:11-12, 22:17 Abraham and his half sister, Sarai, are married and receive God's blessings. LE 20:17, DT 27:20-23 Incest is wrong.

DT 6:5, MT 22:37, MK 12:30, LK 10:27 Love God. DT 6:13, PS 33:8, 34:9, 111:10, 115:13, 128:1, 147:11, PR 8:13, 16:6, 19:23, 22:4, IS 8:13, LK 12:5, 1PE 2:17 Fear God. 1JN 4:18 There is no fear in love.

GE 4:4-5 God prefers Abel's offering and has no regard for Cain's. 2CH 19:7, AC 10:34, RO 2:11 God shows no partiality. He treats all alike.

GE 7:1 Noah was righteous. JB 1:1,8, JB 2:3 Job was righteous. LK 1:6 Zechariah and Elizabeth were righteous. JA 5:16 Some men are righteous, (which makes their prayers effective). 1JN 3:6-9 Christians become righteous (or else they are not really Christians). RO 3:10, 3:23, 1JN 1:8-10 No one was or is righteous.

GE 6:19-22, 7:8-9, 7:14-16 Two of each kind are to be taken, and are taken, aboard Noah's Ark. GE 7:2-5 Seven pairs of some kinds are to be taken (and are taken) aboard the Ark.

PR 30:5 Every word of God proves true. 1KI 22:23, 2CH 18:22, JE 4:10, JE 20:7, EZ 14:9 God deceives some of the prophets...2TH 2:11-12 God deceives the wicked (to be able to condemn them).

GE 4:16 Cain went away (or out) from the presence of the Lord. JE 23:23-24 A man cannot hide from God. God fills heaven and earth.

GE 6:6. EX 32:14, NU 14:20, 1SA 15:35, 2SA 24:16 God does change his mind. NU 23:19-20, IS 15:29, JA 1:17 God does not change his mind.

GE 18:20-21 God decides to "go down" to see what is going on. PR 15:3, JE 16:17, 23:24-25, HE 4:13 God is everywhere. He sees everything. Nothing is hidden from his view.

GE 2:4, 4:26, 12:8, 22:14-16, 26:25 God was already known as "the Lord" (Jahveh or Jehovah) much earlier than the time of Moses. EX 6:2-3 God was first known as "the Lord" (Jahveh or Jehovah) at the time of the Egyptian Bondage, during the life of Moses.

Okay, those are the "contradictions." Now let's play a game. Who knows, it could be fun... Try (well, don't spend all night at it or anything) to figure out what's wrong with the following story (okay, the story's a little strange, but I just thought it might help make things a little more interesting). Here's the story:

Hello. My name is Jack Wabbett. My wife's name is Bunny Wabbett. We live in Briar Patch, Minnesota. We moved here in 1990. We have four children: Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, and Adolf. All our children still live at home with us.
In 1986 I married my college sweetheart, Bunny Hopp. We met when we were college students in Newfoundland. We got married right out of college and moved to Minnesota to start a family. Bunny is the one love of my life. If any man touched her, I would kill him. She gave birth to five children; the first was named Bugs, but he died.
Every Saturday our whole family goes into town and has root beer floats. I just love root beer floats.
My youngest boy, Adolf, is the apple of my eye. Last Saturday was his birthday. He and I camped out at the lake that whole weekend, just the two of us.
When my wife was pregnant with Adolf, we had no idea if she was going to have a boy or a girl, and we didn't know what we would name the baby. We still had no names chosen when he was born. But when the nurse brought him to Bunny in the hospital, he suddenly threw out his arm just like a little Nazi salute. We thought it was just the cutest thing! So we named him Adolf.

Now what's wrong with that story? Well, obviously it's the product of a rather bizarre imagination, but put that aside. Does it strike you as a story that's full of LIES? No? Well, maybe you just need to put on your Bible Critic glasses!

Here's how to play the game: We use the same methods of criticism that the Bible Critic tries to foist upon us with his "Bible contradictions," and suddenly even the most innocent story is chock full of lies!

I'll give a numbered list of "lies" in the Wabbett story. Then after that I'll list some of the "Bible flaws" from above using the same numbers to label them, so you can compare the fallacies the Bible Critic applies to the Bible with the same fallacies applied to the Wabbett family. Ready? Got your glasses on? Here we go!

1. Oh yes, I see it now. The story is all full of lies. For example, Jack says in the first paragraph, "We moved here in 1990." Then in the second paragraph he says, "In 1986 I married my college sweetheart...We met when we were college students in Newfoundland. We got married right out of college and moved to Minnesota to start a family."

So according to the order of events in the story they moved to Minnesota (first paragraph), THEN they got married (second paragraph), THEN they met in college! THEN they got married (again??) and THEN moved to Minnesota AGAIN! The whole chronological order's screwed up! What a pack of lies!

[FALLACY: Mistaking order in which events are mentioned for chronological order.]

2. In the first paragraph it says, "We have four children: Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, and Adolf." But in the second paragraph it says, "She gave birth to five children." So did they have four children or five? It's a contradiction, so it must be a lie!

Furthermore, in the first paragraph, Jack says, "All our children still live at home with us." Really? ALL their children live with them? Even the one who died is still LIVING with them? An obvious lie!

[FALLACY: Not realizing that different groups are spoken of at different times--e.g. living children or children who were born.]

3. First Jack says, "My wife's name is Bunny Wabbett." Then later he says, "In 1986 I married my college sweetheart, Bunny Hopp." Well, who is he married to--Bunny Wabbett or Bunny Hopp?

[FALLACY: Not knowing that THINGS CHANGE--Bunny changed her name when she got married.]

4. Jack says, "Bunny is the one love of my life." But later he says, "I just love root beer floats." If he has ONE love in his life, he cannot also love root beer floats! One love means ONE love!

[FALLACY: Not knowing that words mean different things in different contexts--You love root beer floats in a different way than you love your wife.]

5. Jack says about his wife, "If any man touched her, I would kill him." And yet he also says that they have four (or is it five?) children--so Jack must have touched her at some time! And yet he hasn't killed himself! So his statement that "If any man touched her, I would kill him," is a blatant LIE!

Also Jack says "Every Saturday our whole family goes into town and has root beer floats." And yet he also says of Adolf, "Last Saturday was his birthday. He and I camped out at the lake that whole weekend, just the two of us." If they spent all last weekend at the lake, then last Saturday they did NOT go into town for root beer floats! And yet he said that EVERY Saturday they go into town for root beer floats! A contradiction and a lie!

[FALLACY: Not knowing that words like ALL, EVERY, EACH and ANY can be used while still leaving the possibility that there are exceptions!]

6. Jack says, "My youngest boy, Adolf, is the apple of my eye."--First he says he's a boy, and then he says he's an apple!

[FALLACY: Taking metaphorical expressions literally.]

7. Finally, Jack says, "When my wife was pregnant with Adolf, we had no idea if she was going to have a boy or a girl, and we didn't know what we would name the baby. We still had no names chosen when he was born."

He says they did not know the baby's name until AFTER it was born! And yet he also says, "When my wife was pregnant with Adolf." But if she was pregnant with "Adolf," that must have been the baby's name even when she was still pregnant--otherwise Jack would have to say "pregnant with the baby who would later be known as Adolf." The whole story about them not knowing the baby's name until after his birth must therefore be a blatant lie!

[FALLACY: Not knowing that the narrator of a story can use a name for a person that is not known or used by the people at that time in the story.]

Well, that was pretty silly. And that's the point, because all of those fallacies are also used in our Bible Critic's list of "Bible contradictions." Here now are some of those "Bible contradictions" numbered according to the same fallacies from the Wabbett story.

1. FALLACY: Mistaking order in which events are mentioned for chronological order.

"BIBLE CONTRADICTIONS":

GE 7:7 Noah and his clan enter the Ark. GE 7:13 They enter the Ark (again?).

GE 10:5, 20, 31 There were many languages before the Tower of Babel. GE 11:1 There was only one language before the Tower of Babel.

2. FALLACY: Not realizing that different groups are spoken of at different times.

"BIBLE CONTRADICTIONS":

GE 16:15, 21:1-3, GA 4:22 Abraham had two sons, Ishmael and Isaac. HE 11:17 Abraham had only one son.

3. FALLACY: Not knowing that THINGS CHANGE.

"BIBLE CONTRADICTIONS":

GE 1:31 God was pleased with his creation. GE 6:5-6 God was not pleased with his creation.

GE 2:15-17, 3:4-6 It is wrong to want to be able to tell good from evil. HE 5:13-14 It is immature to be unable to tell good from evil.

GE 17:15-16, 20:11-12, 22:17 Abraham and his half sister, Sarai, are married and receive God's blessings. LE 20:17, DT 27:20-23 Incest is wrong.

4. FALLACY: Not knowing that words mean different things in different contexts.

"BIBLE CONTRADICTIONS":

GE 4:4-5 God prefers Abel's offering and has no regard for Cain's. 2CH 19:7, AC 10:34, RO 2:11 God shows no partiality. He treats all alike.

5. FALLACY: Not knowing that words like ALL, EVERY, EACH and ANY can be used while still leaving the possibility that there are exceptions!

"BIBLE CONTRADICTIONS":

GE 6:19-22, 7:8-9, 7:14-16 Two of each kind are to be taken, and are taken, aboard Noah's Ark. GE 7:2-5 Seven pairs of some kinds are to be taken (and are taken) aboard the Ark.

PR 30:5 Every word of God proves true. 1KI 22:23, 2CH 18:22, JE 4:10, JE 20:7, EZ 14:9 God deceives some of the prophets...2TH 2:11-12 God deceives the wicked (to be able to condemn them). (Or possibly fallacy number 4.)

6. FALLACY: Taking metaphorical expressions literally

"BIBLE CONTRADICTIONS":

GE 4:16 Cain went away (or out) from the presence of the Lord. JE 23:23-24 A man cannot hide from God. God fills heaven and earth.

GE 6:6. EX 32:14, NU 14:20, 1SA 15:35, 2SA 24:16 God does change his mind. NU 23:19-20, IS 15:29, JA 1:17 God does not change his mind.

GE 18:20-21 God decides to "go down" to see what is going on. PR 15:3, JE 16:17, 23:24-25, HE 4:13 God is everywhere. He sees everything. Nothing is hidden from his view.

7. FALLACY: Not knowing that the narrator of a story can use a name for a person that is not known or used by the people at that time in the story.

"BIBLE CONTRADICTIONS":

If one tries hard enough one can find "errors" and "contradictions" in even the most innocuous story--like the Wabbets' story. But when you read a book, what you should do is try to make sense of the book. If you can come up with a reasonable interpretation that makes the book make sense, then that is the best interpretation. Those you constantly try to put interpretations on the Bible that makes it look absurd are only showing their bias against the Bible.