| Conspire 'Till You Retire |
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| Sunday, September 29, 2002 Quotes from Church: Christina: Anyone know where the first aid kit is? Mike: It's in that cabinet. But watch out, you could get first AIDS if you're not careful. Heabin JDSN: If you get a bee sting, you could put animal poop on it to make it better. Mike: Dude, that would really sting-k. (stink) Mike: You can't just let it "bee"? (let it be) Jessica: Aww man, I'm gonna miss The Practice tonight. Emmanuel: That show isn't that fun to watch anymore, though. They don't have anything new. Mike: Well, obviously, since they "practiced" so much. Isaac: I have hemmoroids. Just kidding, haha. Mike: Yeah? Well, I have "her"roids. ("Him"moroids) Wednesday, September 25, 2002 It was quartermania at PV bowl and six of us went and played six straight games of bowling in one night. It's crazy how this whole bowling craze started with four of us and turned into the Kumran English Ministry bowling league of 20 people and four teams. My high score for the night was 174, but that's pretty much standard. All of us are so used to people scoring 170-180, the only time we really get impressed is when someone breaks 200. As for me, I've been averaging a steady 130, sometimes getting to the 150s and sometimes to the 110s. It's amazing just how competitive this league has become, with the guys averaging around 120-140 and girls averaging around 100-120. Anything under 120 is considered a disappointment. And double digits is just plain disgraceful. Sheesh, talk about pressure. All four teams are less than 5 points apart in average, with the first and last place team being within 10 points of each other. More than half of us own our own balls and shoes. But it's a great way for everyone to get together and socialize. It actually brings guys and girls together in an equal level of enjoyment. Tuesday, September 24, 2002 I was driving home from PV and the clouds looked like a bunch of floating islands. It was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen in a long time. The song of this week would definitely have to be "Everlong" by Foo Fighters, KROQ acoustic version. It's an absolute joy to play that song on the guitar. Everytime you have a song in D chord on an acoustic guitar and you play it by turning down your 6th E string to a D, like the way this song is played, a lot of great sounds will come out of it. Quotes: -On the book of Revelation- Pastor Nah: So the first stage of Jesus's second coming is the rapture. But there are a lot of ways that people have interpreted the final days and how things will happen. Mike: Well, I guess they have to rap their way into heaven in those times, since it is the "rap"ture. Monday, September 23, 2002 It's kind of hard to forget about stuff that recently hurt you if you're at home by yourself most of the day. I can't seem to get a hold of my emotions properly. But I did go over to Ryan's place to get my mind off life and forget about everything that exists except for baseball and the Simpsons. It's nice to have friends who share a mutual understanding of the good things in life. And now here I am writing in my blogger, dwelling on the emotional instability I thought I had eliminated 4 years ago upon entering college. Sheesh, it's been a really really long time since I felt this much pain inside. It's because I was labelled a quitter by leaving this company. I really do put on a maximum effort to not quit in anything I commit myself to, it just bothers me like crazy, the fact that I was called a quitter. Even if it's hard or if there are a lot of things that bother me, I'll protest and complain till my face turned blue to fight for change, but quitting would never be an option that I would willingly accept. And by quitting last week, it also made me a liar. How long will it be until I could forgive myself. "In tough times, sing louder, and play harder." Those were the words Jessica Moon had said to me at the KCM senior banquet. It's very comforting to hear them echoing in my mind again. I think I will do just that. Well, I won't necessarily play my guitar harder or else I'd break my strings, but that wasn't what she meant. Quotes: -Chatting with Jin- Super0406: so what did u do all summer? JhN7117: nothing really, i chilled most of the time. Super0406: really? that's cool Super0406: i tried to chill, but it was pretty hot in gardena hahahaha Sunday, September 22, 2002 Well, if I was pursuing the American dream last week, I experienced quite a rude awakening on Friday. I was willing to work all the hard hours to eventually get myself to a nice salary in 2 years. What I heard on my interview was that Saturdays were optional. I asked about it again on Friday and they told me that once you get promoted to a certain point, Saturdays become mandatory and it would be a problem if I couldn't make it to any Saturday at all. I told them there was no way I could get out of my Saturday commitments to church, and that if I had to choose between my faith and my career, then career becomes a second priority. She looked at me with an astonished expression and told me that opportunities to make 100-200k in two years don't just come around knocking on your door. I told her I fully understood exactly what I'm giving up, but I just couldn't sleep at night knowing the kind of compromise I made just to make some more money. I was a complete fool to her. I felt like a fool. It's like sailing in the ocean and throwing out hundreds of thousands of dollars into the water for the whales to feed on. I never knew I could get to such degrees of sadness on the way home Friday. But I'm pretty surprised with the way I got over it in a rather short period of time. I shared this with some people at church, and the general responses were along the lines of "God will reward you for your faithfulness." But dude, it's not even about that. I really don't like it when people feel bad on my behalf in any way, which is one reason why I won't really talk about any personal problems I might have. And it's not like I'm sitting here going okay God, I made this sacrifice for you so you owe me big time. Even if God doesn't "reward" me for sticking with my church responsibilities, I'm completely fine with it. And now that this is in the past I realize that was the least I could do for Him. Quotes: -At Heabin JDSN's apt- Sarah: Yeah, ____ is a pretty famous prophet of this generation. Mike: So how much money did he make? (profit) -Lunch, at church- Min Hee: I had to take a TB shot this week. Mike: Really? I had to take a commercial shot. (TV) Thursday, September 19, 2002 I feel like I am now living the American dream. Start from the bottom, bust your butt to climb up the ladder, and enjoy a nice big salary for the rest of your life and retire happy. For me, it's bust my butt for 60 hours a week for about a year and a half, and if everything works out, the company's system will allow me to make six figures within 2-3 years. But I will have to come to a certain point where I have to branch out to another department in the company or move on to another place where I'd be doing stuff I like, hopefully copywriting, PR, or other writing-related thing, but I'm looking at about 4-5 years down the line. So I've now become all about the money, at least for the next couple years. Then I'll become about 85% about the money. Because if I do branch out, I'll be making a little bit less in the beginning, and I'd have to work up to six figures again. Man, so basically for the next 1-2 years my weekday schedule will consist of waking up at 7:30, working from 9:30am-9:30pm, coming home at 10:00, eating dinner, watching the Simpsons at 11:00, then sleep. Yay me. I just flushed my social life down the toilet as of last Tuesday. Oh well, I've already started, so I'd never let myself get away with not finishing it. Not with this kind of unbelievable opportunity. Tuesday, September 17, 2002 I got the job!!! OMG I can't believe it! Well, more details will be posted on the weekend, I'm soo tired and I'm gonna be tired up the butt till the weekend. Monday, September 16, 2002 Last week I was at the UCLA research library to borrow some books for my final paper for one of my summer school classes. While I was in line I couldn't help but notice one of the clerks, who had this strange familiarity about her, but I had never met her in my life. She looked like she could be either Canadian or English. And she happened to be the one to check my books out, and we had a small conversation about the shirt I was wearing, which was my church t-shirt, and she wanted to know what "kumran" meant. I told her that was the name of my church, and we talked for a little bit more. She spoke with an English accent. I don't really know how to explain it, but there was this eerie sort of intimacy for the few minutes we talked. The way she smiled, the look in her eyes, the way our exchange of words took place, it was as if we had known each other before, in some other time, some other reality. Kind of strange, considering I know absolutely nothing about her. Man, my body has this way of preventing me from sleeping if I'm stressed out or if I have a big day coming up. I passed the first interview for this sports advertising company and tomorrow I get to spend a full day with one of the managers and if they like me after that, I get to go to a final interview, and then get hired if I pass that. So tomorrow is probably the most important stage since they get to know me and interact with me and stuff. And I'm nervous up the butt. If I think about where I am now and what I've done with my life, I wonder if the road that I've taken is the one less travelled by. I think I could safely say this is not a direction that most Korean-American males take. It's not that I think I'm particularly unique and original or anything, and it most definitely does not mean that I'll be better off. But after everything is said and done I'm just glad I was able to choose from my own will the road that I truly wanted to take. And that has made all the difference. Sunday, September 15, 2002 Quotes: -Last week at church- Sharon: Don't you live near Albertsons? Christina: Yeah. Mike: Oh, but I thought you lived near Albertdaughters. Friday, September 13, 2002 I took my very last stroll down Bruin Walk today as a student of UCLA. As I was walking to my car after my final exam I saw the dorms in the horizon, where college began. I took some time to think my goodbyes to all the good things I would be leaving behind and drove off into the sunset, never looking back. Actually, there was no sunset, it was 1:00 in the afternoon and I drove into the 405 traffic. And I'm gonna be returning there in a week or so to pick up my degree hehe. But I had a good run. College was awesome, I wouldn't take it back for anything. I would like to thank God for the countless number of times He bailed me out of the horrendous situations I put myself into with my school work. Quotes: -On Meena's dyed hair- Mike: If your bangs were dyed orange, you could call it orange bangs. (orange bang) Grace: Hey, I thought you got a camry. Sophie: No... Mike: Oh, well I thought you got a digital camry. (camera) Thursday, September 12, 2002 My goodness, it's 4:30 in the morning and I've been writing non-stop since midnight. I can't believe I'm still alive... I think I wrote the biggest piece of crap paper in the history of mankind. My writsts hurt. And I have to write one more short essay, then spend two hours taking the objective part of my final at class, and then I'm completely done!!! I feel like I'm dying. Sheesh. Wednesday, September 11, 2002 Woohoo, it's 3:30am and I just finished about half of my assignemnts I have to finish by Friday. I must admit I really enjoyed writing this essay I just finished on the Odyssey. But tomorrow I'm going to truly die. If you want a small glimpse of the kind of stuff that UCLA english majors write about, here is my final essay topic for my 20th Century British Fiction class: ***** "An important result of Einstein's work was that [modern] man could no longer 'see' objective reality with any clarity: because of the unsureness of his own senses, he distorts reality in the very process of observing it. All things hitherto seen as fixed and stable were now observed in relation to other things. A romantic hero, manipulating a stable world that responded to his forceful will, was no longer possible. Now that will itself was under attack. If man's perceptions were too insecure to allow the observation of phenomenon, then man himself was too insecure to claim an important role for himself." Consider this evaluation with regard to the conception of the heroic figure(s) presented by three of the writers we have studied. To what degree does an uncertainty about perceptions, about the verifiability of external reality, influence these figures and their actions? How, if at all, do these figures seek to escape from the insecurity of their own relative, and potentially unreliable, perspectives? ***** This is actually an in-class essay topic that the professor decided to let us work on at home, so this is a relatively easier topic to write about because the professor is giving us a lot of freedom to choose from a lot of things, being an in-class essay topic and all, and we wouldn't have any resources under normal circumstances. Well, I'm not really gonna talk too much about the whole 9/11 thing, since every TV station had a 9/11 remembrance thing. It was a pretty sad day. But I'm damn proud to be an American. Monday, September 9, 2002 This is a quote taken from John's blog, my roommate from this past year. He just moved to Philly for seminary and this is his experience with the Philly drivers: ***** 1. Some guy was on the left turn lane and just went straight...which ain't that bad (but it gets worse)...and then instead of goin straight into the right hand side of the road, he drives straight into the left hand side of the road and once he realized what he did, he couldn't exactly swerve to the right because there was a dividing thing in the middle of the road. So he had to keep driving on the wrong side of the road until the dividing thing ended...dang...that's right now at the top of my list! 2. Some guy was trying to go onto an interstate highway ramp but realized he went on the wrong one...so what he tried to do was stop in the middle of the ramp and REVERSE out so he can go to the correct one!! and that's WITH people behind him...what's goin on here?!?! ***** Pretty funny stuff. Reminds me of some of the girls at my church hahaha. Quotes from the weekend: -I don't remember who the blank person was.- Won Seok: Yeah, ____ almost got sent to boarding school. Mike: Was it a... snowboarding school? -Playing basketball- Danny: Hey, what the heck, someone stepped on my shoe and it fell off! MIke: Oh shoe-t! (shoot) Thursday, September 5, 2002 Well, it's the last week of summer school and I have three papers due. UCLA is refusing to free me from this suffering to the bitter end. One of them is a 15 page research paper. Grrr I hate research papers. That means I have to do all this outside crap work. Two papers are due on Wednesday, which means I have to manage my time. Ugh. On a brighter note, yesterday was the my last day of my internship. I can't believe it's finally over. My evil boss was actually cool about it. I'm free! But unemployed. I hope I could get rolling within the next month or two. But I'm not too optimistic about it. But whatever, nothing I could really do about the horrendous state of the job market. Hmmm, so what started as a "brighter note" from leaving my internship ultimately meets a horrendous end with my unemployed status. Sheesh! I'm a lover of irony, as the blog's title would state. But, I would like to say that I absolutely detest Alanis Morissette's song "Ironic." Why? Because none of the stuff she sings about is ironic!!!! They're just really really messed up situations, but it's not irony!!!! Irony is when you have a situation where one thing is expected, but the opposite of what's expected occurs. So a traffic jam when you're already late, or a free ride when you're already paid, it's not irony!!! You know what the REAL irony about this song is? It's the fact that the song is supposed to be about irony, but all of the stuff that's supposed to be ironic, isn't ironic at all. So isn't THAT ironic, don't you think???? For the last segment of tonight's entry, inspired by Dae Myung's encouraging comments, I'd like to take this time to thank all the readers of this blog. I can't thank you enough for your kind words. I am truly touched that you find enjoyment in reading my thoughts and that you tolerate what sometimes turns out to be a revealing of some of the most dirtiest parts of my character. Monday, September 2, 2002 Speaking of literature, a few weeks ago in my summer school class, my professor was lecturing about the Aeneid and made a joking refrence to Robert Browning. I was one of five people in the class that laughed because I actually got the joke since I've studied Browning before. Last week I was playing Risk with Ryan, Andy, and Beth, and when I took over Congo, I made a reference to Joseph Conrad because I knew they would get it. My goodness, I have become a geek of literature. The Labor Day holiday actually turned out to be a "labor day" thanks the horrendous heat. Well, I guess I'm that spoiled and ignorant huh? If I consider sitting on my ass and complaining about the hot weather as "labor." I have come to accept the possibility that I may never get married in my life. Maybe I'm just too picky. Actually, that really is one of the main issues. But that's ok, I've decided it's just not worth the energy now. I honestly don't even care anymore. From now on, I'm not out to find love. Love will have to find me instead. Sunday, September 1, 2002 If I take all the stuff I've read in college, one name stands out to me as the most enjoyable work of literature over 3 years of studying english: Beowulf. I read Beowulf for two classes. The first time, it was for a medieval literature class, which was great. Second time, it was for an epics class, which was also great. It's amazing how fast a two-hour lecture went, listening and discussing everything about Beowulf. If I were to get into a discussion about Beowulf, there would be no end to my talking. But I will say this in today's entry - I don't want anyone to assume that Beowulf is someone I look up to and strive to be like, because one of the major issues with Beowulf is whether he is truly a hero or rather a anti-hero. Even on this topic alone I could go on for ages. But I will leave it at that. As for the writers who have changed me through their works, Shakespeare and Chaucer would be at the top. Other than those two, my favorite era has to be the Victorian period - Robert Browning, George Bernard Shaw, and Oscar Wilde have also been tremendous inspirations. Oh, and Jane Austen. Dude, Jane Austen was amazing. Guys who say Austen is only for girls, that's the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard. If Beowulf is #1 in my college reading list, then Persuasion would be #2, and Pride and Prejudice would be in the top 10 as well, both written by Jane Austen. I've recently discovered an interesting fact. Other than Austen, if you take a handful of my favorite works of literature, they all follow a similar theme: The Count of Monte Cristo, Hamlet, Beowulf, to name a few. A major theme in those works is revenge and betrayal. The Canterbury Tales and Catch-22 contain cynical ironies at every page. Kind of tells a lot about the way I think, huh? Quotes: -Dinner at church- Andrew: Hey, what's that? Grace: Its crab. Mike: So it probably tastes like a piece of crab. |