~Lights come up in the Jerry Springer studio~
Jerry: My guests today are all here because they have
a crush on some one and want to let that special some
one know!!
~Crowd oh’s and cheers~
Jerry: My first guest is Michael Cole.
MC: Hi Jerry. ~Wrings hands nervously~
Jerry: Tell us about the person you have a crush on.
MC: Okay… Well I’ve worked with this person for a
while now.
Jerry: Does this person have any idea that you have a
crush on them?
MC: I’m not sure if he does.
~Crowd ooh’s~
Jerry: HE? Why don’t you tell us why you have a crush
on him?
MC: ~Smiles~ Well he’s so strong and tough! And… ~gets
a dumb grin on his face~
Jerry: I hear strong and tough is a under statement!
~Michael blushes~
Jerry: Ok Michael why don’t you go backstage and we
will bring out your crush?
~Michael goes backstage~
Jerry: Everyone Welcome TAZZ!
~Tazz comes out and takes a seat~
Jerry: Welcome Tazz
Tazz: ~crosses his arms~ Jerry.
Jerry: Do you have any idea why you’re here?
Tazz: Hell no Jer’!
Jerry: Tazz, someone has a crush on you! And they
brought you here to tell you!
Tazz: What? ~grins~ Hmm, izzit Trish? Maybe dat hot
chick ring announcer… Bring dem out here now!
Jerry: Okay!
~MC comes out and Tazz’s jaw drops~
Tazz: I knew it! I knew ya didn’t dig chicks!
~It hits Tazz that MC is the one that has the crush on
him~
Tazz: What the ~BEEP~? MC, is dis a joke?
MC: ~gulps effeminately~ Uhh… no Tazz it isn’t.
Tazz: Dis is ~beep~ed up!
Jerry: Tazz just calm down.
Tazz: Ya bring me out here, drop dat on me! Den tell
me to CALM DOWN!? I don’t ~BEEP~ t’ink so!
Jerry: We’ll be right back!
~Come back from commercial Tazz is sitting but still
looks really pissed he keeps shooting nasty looks over
at MC who looks like he might urinate on himself at
any moment~
Jerry: My next guest has been here before. I’m sure
you all remember Jeff Hardy!
~Jeff comes bouncing out and takes a seat~
Jeff: Hey there Jerry! ~tosses his hair~
Jerry: Hi Jeff. So Jeff, do you know why you are here
this time?
Jeff: No clue!
Jerry: Well Jeff, you were brought here because
someone has a crush on you!.
~Is glowing now and grinning~
Jeff: Bring ‘em OUT!
Jerry: Okay, Everyone welcome Chris Jericho, Edge,
Christian, D’lo Brown, Bull, D-von, Essa, Eddie, X
pac, Bradshaw, William Regal, Funaki and Just Joe.
~The stage is now full of wrestlers all eyeing each
other up~
Edge: You all have crushes on Jeff?! Dude, this reeks
of sucktatude!
D Von: TESTIFY!
Funaki: ~Badly dubbed~ Indeed!
Chris Jericho: ~Smiles at Jeff and bats his eyelashes~
Ya gotta choose one Jeffie.
~Jeff looks around at all the wrestlers, suddenly Matt
comes storming out of the back, hitting any one he can
reach.~
William Regal: ~falls off the stage~ I’VE BEEN
BESMIRCHED!
Matt: NONE OF YOU CAN HAVE HIM! HE’S MINE!!!
~A huge fight erupts. Crowd starts chanting JERRY
JERRY~
~Security rushes the stage but quickly gets swallowed
up by the fight. The crowd starts chanting STEVE
STEVE, but suddenly stops when they realize Steve is
not on the stage, helping break up the fight. WE find
him still sitting in the front row making eyes at Jim
Dotson~
~Jerry looks REALLY nervous~
Jerry: We’ll be… right back…
~Come back the stage is now empty. There are pieces of
broken chairs and other things scattered~
Jerry: Welcome back!
~Jerry is acting like nothing happened~
Jerry: My last guest is here to tell his tag team
partner about his secret crush. Everyone Welcome
Scotty 2 Hotty!
~Scotty comes out and does the worm. The crowd goes
nuts and chants WORM! WORM!~
Jerry: So Scotty, you’re here to tell your tag team
partner Grand Master Sexay that you have a crush on
him?
Scotty: Yep!!
Jerry: Lets bring out Grandmaster!
~Grandmaster Sexay comes out and takes a seat~
Jerry: Welcome!
GMS: Hey yo Jerry! Whassap?
Jerry: Go ahead Scotty.
Scotty: ~Takes a hold of Brian’s hand~ Brian… We’ve
been friends for a long time. And I wanted to let ya
know that I have a big crush on you.
GMS: Really, Scotty? I like you too!! ~They hug~
~Tazz comes out from the back~
Tazz: Youse gotta be kiddin me!
~Tazz goes up to Jerry~
Jerry: Umm Hi Tazz… ~adjusts his collar~
Tazz: Jer’! Dey’s pullin’ one on ya!
Jerry: What?!
Tazz: Do I gotta spell it out? Dem two are lovas!
~Jerry looks confused he looks at Tazz then back up at
2 Cool~
Jerry: Is that true?
Scotty: Well… sort of
Jerry: GREAT! We’ll be right back!
~During commercial~
~2 Cool start making out~
Jerry: This is a disaster!
Tazz: You’re a sucka! And now you’re JUST ANOTHER
VICTIM!
~Tazz puts the Tazzmission on Jerry. Steve looks over
at those two then goes back to talking with Jim. The
crowd starts chanting TAZZ TAZZ~
Tazz: Dis is Tazz’s show now!
~MC comes running out~
MC: TAZZ, TAZZ can I co-host?
Tazz: You, MC can take your crush, and be JUST ANOTHER
VICTIM!
~Tazz chokes out MC~
Tazz: Dis is now TAZZ’S SHOW!! Get all ya sorry asses
out on stage!
~All of the guests on the show come out and take a
seat~
Tazz: Who’s got’a question for dese suckas?
Woman: Jeff what are you going to do with all those
guys?
Tazz: SIT DOWN! Tazz’ll tell ya what’s gonna happen!
Ya all gonna take a numba! Den when ya done ya gonna
pay Matt for services done!
~Tazz cackles~
Matt: ~Jumps up from his chair and stands in front of
Jeff~ NO ONE is doing ANYHTING with Jeff!!
Tazz: Shut up Hardy!
Man: This is for 2 Cool. Why did you come on the show?
Scotty: We just wanted to come on so we lied! Jerry
Springer is like the COOLEST thing around, and we
gotta be down with that!
Tazz: Yea yea whatever. Dis’ ain’t Jerry Springa’ any
more, so ya don’t gotta worry about bein’ down wit’
nuttin’ but Thug Life!
~Man stands up to ask a question but Tazz pushes him
back down into his seat~
Tazz: Dat’s enough dumb questions! When Tazz’s Show
comes back it’s time for Tazz’s final thought!
~Commercial~
Tazz: Whad we learn today? Jerry Springer’s JUST
ANOTHER VICTIM! Dat half the fed wants to ~beep~ Jeff
Hardy. Nuttin new dere! And if ya got a crush don’t
sit dere and whine bout it like a punk! Tel’em bout
it! Or you too will be Just Another Victim!
~Cameras go off~