// indicates thought
 

*******************
 

The moment I finished interviewing Stephanie I stepped out the stage
door and hailed a cab, telling the driver to take me back to the
hotel. I should've stayed; I hadn't told Peter I was leaving and I
knew he'd be frantic looking for me. But the last thing I wanted to
watch was Peter's future decided by picking his name out of a hat.

We had both known that he had little chance of being picked in the
first draft. Peter's good, but he doesn't have a belt and he's not
sleeping with either Flair or McMahon. Or anyone with any kind of
pull backstage for that matter. I should know; I'm the one he's
sleeping with and I have less pull than the ring crew.

So it was the lottery - which was a hell of a way to decide a man's
future if you ask me.

I didn't want to think about it. I couldn't think about anything
else. The Dudley boys had already been seperated - who else would be
torn apart by this?

/Please not us,/ I prayed. /That's not asking much, especially after
everything we've been through. Please just don't seperate us./ I
swallowed hard, blinking back tears; I had lived without Peter during
the worst of the Alliance mess and I knew deep down that I couldn't
do it again.

And Peter felt the same way. He had come dangerously close to
quitting before - between the backstage politics, the in-ring
humiliation at the hands of Austin and our seperation, it had almost
been too much for him.

Would it come to that? Both of us quitting what we loved just so we
could be together?

I glanced down at my hand, running a finger over the plain gold
band. Peter had unexpectedly slid it on my finger the moment
Survivor Series was over and I had done the same during our first
Smackdown back together. There had been no formal vows, no fanfare,
no public declaration. No one knew what those rings meant except us,
but that didn't change what they stood for.

Would I give it all up to stay with Peter? In a heartbeat, a second,
it wouldn't even take that long. If a choice had to be made, I'd
gladly walk away. No regrets.

The cab pulled up in front of the hotel and after paying the fare I
went in. Luckily the lobby was empty; I was in no condition to deal
with any fans. Not tonight. Not when all my thoughts were on Peter,
on the lottery, on our future.

Entering our room, I kicked off my shoes and laid down. My head was
pounding; Peter would've immediately said I was thinking too much and
immediately tried to distract me. I couldn't help smiling at that; I
love it whenever he distracts me. He does it so well that I usually
have trouble remembering my name afterwards, much less whatever was
worrying me.

Now though...now I just wanted him here so we could hold eachother.

I curled up on Peter's side of the bed and buried my face in a pillow
that still smelled like him. All I could do now was what he and
every other WWF superstar was doing.

Wait.

********************

I must've fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew a kiss was
being brushed against my temple. "Hey, baby."

That sweet Brooklyn-laced voice woke me immediately. "Hey." Sitting
up, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a much more
satisfying kiss for both of us. I needed the comfort and I could tell
by the way his arms slid around me that he needed it, too.

Finally he let me go a little, ending the kiss but keeping his arms
around me. "How come you left?" he murmurred. "I was looking for you."

I ducked my head a little; I really hadn't meant to worry
him. "Sorry. I just...I couldn't stay and watch."

He laid his cheek against my hair. "Can't really blame you there. I
didn't want to watch it either and I had to." He paused. "They
split up the APA."

I drew away enough to stare at him, shocked into speechlessness.
Bradshaw and Ron have been together FOREVER - one of their nicknames
backstage is "old married couple". It's rare for a pair to last as
long as they have and still be so devoted to eachother, but they are.

The look on Peter's face told me that they hadn't been the only pair
broken apart by this. "Who else?" I couldn't help asking; call it
morbid curiosity.

"Big Show and Spike." Peter didn't look happy about that one; he and
Spike had been lovers long ago in ECW and were still good friends. We
had both been glad that he had found someone to heal his heart after
Molly stomped on it and Show was clearly devoted to him. "They were
still pretty upset when I left."

I couldn't blame them. Two completely seperate shows meant two
different touring schedules, promotional appearances, everything.
They'd hardly see eachother and while something like that might not
make a lot of difference to a long time couple like the APA, to a
fairly new one like Show and Spike...

Or even a couple like us...

Finally I asked the question I had been dreading. "What about you?"

He was silent for a moment, his head bowed, and I felt my heart
sink. Please, no...

Then he looked up and I saw the pure relief in his eyes. "Smackdown."

I let out the breath I had been holding and sagged in his arms. "Oh,
thank God," I breathed, clinging to him as if my life depended on it.
In a way, it had. "Thank God. I was so afraid..."

He tightened his hold on me, planting a kiss in my hair. "Me, too,
babe. I swear, I was on pins and needles the whole time - I didn't
get picked until near the end." His hand slid up my back, doing their
best to soothe my ragged nerves. "But it's gonna be okay now, baby.
It's all gonna be okay."

He held me like that for I don't know how long, murmurring love words
and nonsense until my shaking stopped. Finally he drew away enough to
brush a kiss across my lips. "Okay, Mikey?"

"Now I am." I snuggled closer. "Did they say anything about the
announcer situation?" I was with Jerry Lawler now and I didn't get
along with him all that well. Before I had been with Peter, but that
had been during the worst of the Alliance mess when we hadn't even
been speaking to eachother.

He shook his head. "Nobody mentioned anything." He paused. "But...I
gotta tellya, babe...and I don't want you to be mad, 'cause it's not
that I don't want to be with you at ringside..."

"But you want to wrestle," I finished for him; I knew this would come
up eventually. Looking up, I saw the worry in his eyes and gave him a
reassurring smile. "Don't you think I know that, love? It's something
you have to do. Like breathing."

He visibly relaxed. "I thought for sure you'd be pissed," he said. "I
mean...you know...it sound like I want us to be apart...when I don't."

I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I know you
don't. If you did, you wouldn't be here and I wouldn't have this on
my finger." I waggled the hand with the ring on it in front of his
nose. "Love, I want you to be happy. And wrestling is what makes you
happy, not sitting next to me and pretending to be Howard Cosell."

Reaching up, he brushed a lock of hair out of my eyes. "So do you,"
he said softly. "You make me happier than I every thought I could
be. You know that, right?"

My heart turned to mush; a declaration like that from Peter is
rare. "I know," I breathed. "I love you, too." With that, I drew him
into another kiss.

Peter's hands slid up to cup my face as the kiss lengthened and
intensified, lighting a fire deep inside me. "When he finally let me
go, I let out a little whimper and pulled at his t-shirt. "Off," I
managed to get out." "I want this off. Now."

Peter grinned. "Just this?" he asked as it went over his head and
onto the floor. "Not a lot I can do with just my shirt off, babe."

The damn tease. I could've killed him if I hadn't wanted him so
badly. "Everything," I clarified as I undid his jeans. "Before I
rip it off you."

His grin became even wider. "You, too, babe." Taking my own t-shirt,
he eased it over my head and tossed it aside. "I'm not gonna be the
only one buck ass naked here."

We were both naked and in eachother's arms in record time. Peter
eased me against the pillows, carefully bracing himself on top of
me. "Tell me what you want, Mikey baby," he murmurred into my
ear. "I'll do anything."

Anything? I shivered as he nuzzled my neck. There was only one thing
I needed, wanted, craved. "In me," I whispered, spreading my legs in
open invitation. "Want you in me."

Peter let out a strangled little groan as he buried his face in my
shoulder. "Fuck...Mikey, you're gonna kill me if you keep talking
like that."

I grinned as I handed him the tube of lubricant from the bedside
drawer. "Hopefully not before you fuck me." I sighed as he slid two
fingers inside me. "Oh God...yes..."

"That's it, baby," he purred. "You look so fucking beautiful like
that." Removing his fingers, he eased my legs up and moved between
them. His lips brushed against mine. "Love you," he breathed before
he slowly entered me.

My fingers dug into his arms as I let out a long, drawn out moan.
Peter always felt so good filling me, but this time just the simple
act of him easing into me was almost enough to make me come.

Almost.

"Okay, Mikey baby?" he whispered once he was all the way in. By the
way he was shaking I could tell he was hanging onto control by a
thread, but Peter's always careful, tender with me because I'm so
much smaller than he is. He's always of afraid of hurting me because
of that. "Okay?"

I nodded frantically. His weight was a solid comfort, his cock a rock
hard length deep in me. I didn't want to wait; all I wanted was for
Peter to fuck me until I couldn't see straight. Until I was screaming
with pleasure. Until I forgot everything except the two of us. "Yes,"
I gasped. "Peter...please..." That was all I managed to get out; my
lover's lips descended on mine, cutting off what I was about to say
with a hard, deep kiss.

The bed rocked in time with our movements, the sound of creaking
bedsprings mongling with our muffled moans and cries. Every thrust
jabbed deep in me, the stabs of pleasure causing me to jerk hard in
Peter's arms. I was close...so damn close...ready to hurl over the
edge, but I wanted Peter with me.

Peter must've wanted the same thing, because suddenly he reached
between us and pulled hard on my aching cock. It was more than
enough; screaming Peter's name, I came, spurting all over his hand. I
was still shaking when he buried his face in my shoulder and came as
well.

We laid in eachother's arms, both of us breathing heavily and unable
to move. Finally, Peter slipped out of me and I couldn't help
whimpering. "No...don't let me go..."

"Shh...never, baby. Never let you go." He rolled onto his back,
taking me with him as he kept a protective arm around me. He snagged
the comforter off the floor and tucked it around both of us. "There.
Okay?"

I snuggled closer, my head against his broad chest. "Mmm. Better."
finding one of his hands, I grasped it, tangling our fingers
together. "Just...please don't leave me alone. Not tonight."

Peter's free hand smoothed back my hair, soothing me and taking away
all my fears. "I ain't goin' nowhere, Mikey. Count on it." He
squeezed my shoulder. "You're stuck with me, babe."

Looking up, I caught the tender look in Peter's dark eyes. "I'm happy
to be stuck with you." I murmurred. "I wouldn't want to be stuck with
anyone else." I gave him a long, lingering kiss. "I love you."

His fingers brushed my cheek before he pulled me back into my
arms. "I love you, too."

*********