// -indicates thought

*********************

Tazz checked his watch for the third time in as many minutes and
cursed under his breath.  The fans were filing into the arena, the
cameras were about to start rolling and Smackdown was a little over a
half hour away from broadcast.  All this and his commentating partner
Michael Cole was nowhere to be found.

/I know he's here.  We came together,/ Tazz thought, smiling as he
remembered how literal those words were.  The two of them had
indulged in a little fun during the limo ride to the arena.

/Imagine Mikey never doing it in the back seat of a car before,/ he
mused, the look of suprised delight on his lover's face foremost in
his mind.  Renting the limo for their anniversary had been one of the
best ideas he had ever had; once he had gotten over his shock,
Michael had been enthusiastic, to say the least.

Tazz began searching the backstage area for his missing
partner. /Can't believe it's been a year already,/ he reflected as he
walked. A year ago tonight had been their first Smackdown and
together they had beaten the odds, proving a success to everyone who
had thought the two men were too different to work effectively.  They
had become partners, friends, and exactly six months after that first
fateful broadcast, lovers.  It was a special night for them both in
more ways than one.

/First time for Mikey,/ he remembered with a smile. /And the first
time it meant something to me./ He had been with other men before,
casual affairs mostly, but nothing had prepared him for the intensity
he felt when he was with Michael.

Catching a glimpse of rainbow-colored hair up ahead he called, "Hey,
Jeff!" The younger Hardy turned upon hearing his name. "You seen Cole
around?"

Jeff gestured further down the hall.  "He was heading toward the
training rooms not too long ago," he said, concern making his
Carolinian accent stronger than usual. "He seemed upset about
something, but he didn't say what."

Tazz frowned.  Michael, upset? He hadn't been earlier.  "Thanks,
man.  Good luck tonight."  Jeff gave him a friendly wave as he headed
back down the hall.

The trainers' rooms were at the far end of the arena, away from all
the noise and confusion.  He found his lover in the third one he
checked, sitting on a bench and clutching a piece of paper in one
hand with the other over his eyes. "Mikey?  Been lookin' all over for
you," he said, leaning against the doorway. "Showtime's about a half-
hour."

Michael sniffed, swiping at his eyes. "I'll be right there," he said,
his voice slightly hoarse, not turning to look at him.

Tazz's frown deepened as he shut the door and sat down on the bench
facing him.  "Babe? What's wrong?" he asked, reaching over to put a
hand on his partner's knee.  Only one thing was capable of making his
lover this upset. "Bad news from home?"

Michael nodded, still not looking up. ""Yeah.  Everybody's okay,
though.  It's not that kind of bad news."  he paused, swallowing
hard. "My wife's suing me for divorce."

"Damn." A sympathetic look appeared on Tazz's face. "Mikey baby, I'm
sorry."

"I shouldn't be suprised," Michael continued softly. "I mean, we've
been fighting constantly the past few months.  You know that."

Tazz nodded, remembering the phone calls that had turned into
screaming matches, the unresolved tension that had filled the air on
his rare visits to his partner's home.  "I thought you were working
stuff out, though."

Michael shrugged.  "So did I. But last time I was home..." He shook
his head.  "You know she said that I was married more to the WWF and
to you than I ever was to her?"

Tazz frowned, but didn't say anything.  From how well he knew
Michael's wife - which, in all honesty, wasn't that well; the two of
them had discovered a mutual dislike for eachother on their first
meeting and it had grown ever since - he could see her saying
something like that.  Especially knowing how guilty it would make him
feel.

"That's not true," he finally said, not knowing what else to tell him.

"Isn't it?" was Michael's quiet reply. He looked up, a sad little
smile on his face. "I spend more time on the road than I ever did at
home."

"That's 'cause of your job," Tazz interrupted.

"Which she never did like," Michael finished softly.  "She wants
someone who comes home every night, not someone whose out on the road
half the year.  She always did." He put his free hand over
Tazz's.  "She asked me to quit."

Tazz's dark eyes widened as fear stabbed at his heart. "She did?" he
repeated numbly, wanting to make sure he heard correctly.

Michael nodded. "Demanded it, more like it. Said she couldn't live
like she had been anymore." He shook his head again.  "I didn't
think...she always seemed happy before. Unless it was all a really
good act."

/Which it might've been,/ Tazz thought but didn't say. /How can
someone like Mikey marry a vindictive, bitter little bitch like her?/

"She wasn't always," Michael said softly.

Tazz blinked.  "Huh?"

The sad little smile returned. "I can always tell what you're
thinking by the look on your face," he commented, twining their
fingers together.  "She wasn't always a bitch."

Tazz ducked his head. "Sorry," he murmured. "I just...I hate the way
she treats you. You know?"

"I know.  And I know why.  There's no reason for you to like her,
especially when it comes to us."  He paused.  "When we first got
married, she was the sweetest woman, everything anyone could want.
It's only since I signed up with the WWF that she's changed." he
paused. "She never was a big wrestling fan."

/And since we teamed up, it's only gotten worse,/ Tazz thought. /It's
almost like she knows./ He dismissed that thought immediately.  They
had been the picture of discretion; there was no way she could know.

"So what are you gonna do?" he asked finally.  "You gonna give her
what she wants?"

To Tazz's suprise, Michael shook his head.  "No." He met his lover's
brown eyes, tilting his head.  "You look suprised."

"Yeah, I am kinda," Tazz admitted. He ducked his head again, his
thumb caressing Michael's long fingers.  "I know you love her."

"I do.  And a part of me always will," Michael answered quietly. "But
maybe deep down she's right.  Maybe I do love what I do more.  God
knows I couldn't go back to a 9 to 5 job after this - I'd go
insane."  He paused.  "And then there's you."

"No," Tazz immediately said, shaking his head. "Don't.  Don't make up
your mind because of us. You know what we said in the beginning - any
trouble for you and we'd end it."

"But I don't want to," Michael said softly.  He lifted Tazz's head
up, brushing a kiss against the other man's lips.  "I love you.  I
want to be with you, not just when we're out on the road but all the
time." He paused.  "Do you know how much it hurts to be away from you
sometimes?"

Tazz sighed. "Yeah, I know," he admitted.  "I don't like it, either."
He paused, a thought suddenly occurring to him.  "But what about your
kids, Mikey? You're gonna fight her for them, right?"

"What judge would give them to me?" Michael's soft voice was bitter,
angry. "I don't have a chance in hell if I go to court and she knows
it."  He hesitated a moment, then handed Tazz the envelope he had
been clutching. "And just in case I do try...she's already thought
about that. Go ahead and read."

"'If I were you I wouldn't try for custody,'" Tazz read out loud.
"'Because if you do, I'll bring up things in court that you
definitely don't want anyone to know.'"  He looked up,
shocked. "Fucking hell, Mikey.  She knows?"

Michael nodded.  "I don't know how she found out, but yeah, she
knows.  It explains a lot if you think about it." He paused,
shrugging. "It doesn't matter.  I was getting tired of lying to her."

"It DOES matter! They're you're kids, too!" Tazz thought
quickly.  "What if...what if I told her I wasn't in the picture
anymore?  Would she let up then?"

Michael shook his head.  "It's more than that." There was a long
pause. "She's...she's seeing someone else, too."

Tazz stared at his lover, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. "Fuck," he
finally said.  "How long?  And who is the jackass?"

"About as long as you and I have," Michael answered dully. "As for
who he is...old college boyfriend, I think.  Called her out of the
blue one day and they've been catching up ever since."  He
paused. "Bank executive, too.  Home by four every day, weekends off.
Just what she wants." He ducked his head again.  "She said...she
offered visitation...but with my schedule...and that's only if I
just...you know."

"Walk away." Tazz finished harshly. "Walk away and not make any
waves, right?" His rage grew as Michael nodded miserably.  "How in
the fuck does she expect you to do that?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to have to."  Michael took a deep, shaky
breath.  "Because if I go to court and she brings up us...I'll never
see them again. She'll make damn sure of that."

"She thought this out," Tazz commented, a part of him not suprised.
Michael's wife was very good at playing stupid, but under the act he
had caught a glimpse of the cold heart buried underneath.  He hadn't
trusted the woman from the beginning, but had kept silent. She was
Michael's wife, after all.

/I shoul've said something,/ he reflected, then thought better of
it.  It probably wouldn't have changed anything and only would've
hurt Michael that much more that much sooner.

"Yeah, down to the last detail," Michael murmured.  "Almost...almost
as if she had been planning it out for awhile."

/THAT'S why he's so upset,/ Tazz realized.  His wife hadn't rejected
him because of his job or being away so much or even the fact that he
was having an affair with another man.  Those were just convenient
excuses.  She had rejected HIM.  Completely.

Tazz tugged on the hand in his keeping. "C'mere, babe," he murmured,
pulling his unresisting lover into his arms, tightening his hold when
Michael buried his head in his broad shoulder. "It's okay, baby," he
whispered, planting a kiss in Michael's hair. "It's gonna be okay.
I'm here.  I'm right here with you.  You hold onto me - I ain't going
nowhere."

They sat like that for several minutes, Michael clinging to the
larger man and Tazz giving him what comfort he could in the form of
murmurring love words and nonsense into his ear as he rocked him back
and forth.  Finally, Michael drew away enough to swipe at his
eyes. "You okay, babe?" Tazz asked softly, lightly kissing his cheek.

Michael shrugged. "I will be, I guess." He ducked his head, hiding
his eyes.  "Sorry."

"For what?  Mikey, babe, you've done nothing to apologize for."  He
gently smoothed his lover's curls back into place.  "If it helps...I
kinda know how you feel."

Michael's hand found Tazz's, his fingers gently brushing against the
one where his lover's own wedding ring had been until
recently.  "Yeah, you do, don't you?" He paused.  "Have you heard
from her?"

"Nah, and I hope I don't.  Good riddance to her."  He changed the
subject quickly, not wanting to dwell on his own loss. "JR's here.
Why don't you sit out tonight?"

Michael immediately shook his head. "No.  I'll be okay."  At Tazz's
skeptical look he continued, "I need to work.  Tonight especially."

Tazz nodded, pride swelling up in him.  Anyone else would've taken
the offer of a night off in a heartbeat, especially considering what
Michael was going through.  The fact that he was willing to work in
spite of everything spoke hightly of his sense of
professionalism.  "You sure?" he persisted.

Michael smiled. the first genuine smile Tazz had seen since finding
him.  "I'm sure," he answered.  "I'll be with you."

"Damn right you'll be," Tazz growled.  He met Michael's eyes with his
own.  "I'll always be with you.  You know that, right?"

"I know.  And I love you for it."  he gave Tazz a warm kiss before
pulling away and standing up. "Showtime?"

Tazz checked his watch.  "You've got about ten minutes," he
said.  "Just enough time to hit make-up."

"I'd better hustle then.  I'll see you out there."  He leaned forward
for one last kiss.  "I love you."

"Love you too, babe."  Tazz let him go reluctantly as was gifted with
a brilliant smile before Michael dissapeared out the door.

/All mine now,/ he mused as he watched him go.  A sigh escaped him;
no matter how much he wanted Michael all to himself, he hadn't wanted
it like this.  The fact that he knew he was at least partially to
blame for Michael's heartache didn't make him feel any better.

/Have to watch over him,/ he thought as he got up as well./Take care
of him.  Keep his mind off it./ Michael was prone to depression if
left to himself to brood over things.  He'd jsut have to make sure
that his lover was not only alone as little as possible, but was
sufficiently distracted as well.

Well, he definitely knew how to do that.

He headed down the hall after him, a grin appearing on his face as a
dozen different possibilities came to mind.  Smackdown came first,
but after it was over he'd do his best to bring the smile he loved so
back to his lover's face and keep it there.

It was their anniversary, after all.

*************************