I can't believe I did that.  What was I thinking?  First I betray him,
then I beg him to forgive me and come with me.  I ask him to give up his
life, for me.  How can I ask that of him.  After everything I've done to
him, how can I expect him to come with me?

But I had to.  I have to hold on to him.  I have to hold on to hope.
I...I have to.  I didn't have a choice when they came to me and I hope
to hell he see's that.  I hope he understands.  I need him, I just hope
he realizes that.

I know what he'll choose.  No matter how much I bed, plead and hope, the
WWF is his life.  The WWF is 'his' family.  I may love him but I
understand that.  Family is the reason I hurt him.  I'm not stupid, but
I had to try.

I know I'm being unfair. i confused him and messed with his head.  I
know I shouldn't have.  I shouldn't have even asked.  I should have
kissed him.  I know the rules.  I broke them.  I know what he'll choose
and I had to, just once.  I had to kiss him because I may never get
another chance.

I think the waiting is the worse.  Waiting for his decision.  Waiting
for the inevitable, but still waiting.  I hate waiting.  But I will
wait.  I know the answer and I am still going to wait.

I love him, I have to.