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Adam´s Song

I warn you all this is depressing and sad, so if you don't
wanna cry right now you might not wanna read this. I was listening to
the radio and this song came on, I started thinking and this is the
result. I know, I know, "She actually started thinking! Wow it's a
merrygold!"

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Song Title: Adam's Song
Who does it?: Blink 182
Author: Super Saiyan Alexin
Disclaimer: You know the deal...
Warnings: Cursing, Sniffle alert, very slight Shonen Ai, and suicide.
Notes: <<...>> are song lyrics, I wrote this thinking of one of my
brothers Mikey who committed suicide about a year ago, so this isn't
gonna be a happy fic, more on the severly depressing side.
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<>

::A tape turns on and we see a young man with black spiky hair
sitting in a chair with a sad look on his face. He starts to talk
solomly.:: "I always thought when I died it would be in a fight, you
know, dieng to save others, sacrificeing yourself for the greater
good. Instead here I am about to end it all. I put up such a good
front, no one knew how much it hurt. This was the last straw, here it
is my birthday and no one remembered. *No one* came by, *no one* sent
a letter or a card, *no one* even called. ::He glances over to the
wall then turns back:: As I glance over to the wall I notice
something, the phone isn't even plugged in at all."

<>

"Yesterday I had a big test, I was nervous of course, anyone would
be. Dad said I should take my time, Mom said to just hurry up and get
it over with. I listened to my Dad and took my time, too much and I
ended up guessing on the last 2 questions. I got 198 out of 200
questions right,99% and Mom still complained. '*Gohan* would have
gotten them *all* right. *Gohan* would have written his name better.
*Gohan* wouldn't have taken so long. Why can't you be as smart and as
good as *Gohan?' SCREW GOHAN!! I am *me* not *Gohan!* I can't take
this anyore, I am tired of being told I'm 'not as smart as Gohan,'
I'm tired of not being 'as strong as my father,' and I'm tired
of 'not being a babe-magnet like Trunks.' I don't like girls, I like
*Trunks*, and I'm tired of him only likeing me as a friend. I can't
take it anymore. You'll all take back all the means things you've
ever said, and you'll all be sorry when I'm gone."

<>

"I never conquered any of my fears, rarely came outside my room, much
less to party's. Why can't I just be 16 again? Things were so much
easier then, Trunks and I always hung out, my parents were still
together, Dad and Vegeta were always out sparring, and the biggest
thing on my mind was when Mom was going to let me go outside again."

<<The world was wide to late to try
The tour was over, we survived
I couldn't wait 'til I got home
to pass the time in my room alone>>

"I tried to make new friends while Trunks was gone but it was too
late, I was already compairing everyone to Trunks. The Grand Tour was
over, Dad wasn't a kid anymore, the world didn't come to an end, we
all survived. I remember half way through Biology 201 I felt Dad,
Pan, and Trunks' ki's. I couldn't wait till I got home, I was so sure
that Trunks was gonna be there waiting to tell me all about the trip.
He wasn't. I figured that Bulma had wanted to see him first so I
called over there, Trunks said that his Grandma was on the other line
and asked if he could call back. I waited in my room all night. He
never called back."

<>

"I always thought that at the absoulute least if I didn't die in a
fight that I would die with all my friends and family around me, you
know, 'on my deathbed' as they say. I never even made any type of an
impact, when my father and Gohan are gone people will remeber them
as 'The great defender of the Earth' and 'The Golden Child' or even
as 'The Great Saiyaman.' No one will remeber there was ever anyone
named Son Goten. Give my T.V. and VCR to Jordan, give my stereo to
Scottie, give my CD's and videos to Worm, and give Trunks the stack
of letters under my mattress that I never had the courage to give
him. I doubt anyone will want this tape so you should burn it after
watching it, whoever you are that found this that is. I know how
it'll go Jordan's brother Micheal died in a car accident last year.
They don't go in there anymore, no one will come in here again
either."

<<You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of Apple Juice in the hall
Please tell Mom this is not her fault.>>

"You'll corner everything off and act like there's an invisible wall
there, it'll be like an abandoned museum. The stains from my
childhood will still be there, but you'll all probably treasure them.
I remember when I was 12 I spilt a cup of, I think it was Grape Kool-
Aid, in my room. Mom started screaming at the top of her lungs, she
was acting like I had just shot something and dragged in the body to
show her. Whoever finds this please, tell my Mother that this wasn't
her fault, I just couldn't take this life anymore, so instead I'm
takeing *my* life."

<>

"I never conquered any of my goals, never even came close. Everything
was so much better when I was 16, the sun was brighter, the grass was
greener, and Trunks didn't aviod me like he does now. When I was 16 I
wanted to live, and I wanted to go outside. Now I don't even want to
leave my room."

<<The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over, we survived
I coudn't wait 'til I got home
To pass the time in my room alone.>>

"It's a big world out there, I could have just gone out and tried to
find someone else who understood me like Trunks did. But no one
would. I mean let's face it, if you tell someone that your Dad was
born on a different planet and you weren't fully Human they would
have you committed. The tour ended and no one died, except the bad
guys. But it didn't feel that way, it felt like all my friends died
too. Trunks was the only person who ever understanded, after all, you
can't exactlty tell an accquaintence from school that your best
friend, your niece, and your father, who was just turned into an 8
year old, were traveling across the galaxy so that the world wouldn't
come to an end because your Dad hadn't even hit puberty yet they
would call you a liar. Everyday at school all I did was count the
seconds till I got home so that I could wait all night in my room
alone for a call that would never come."

<>

"I tried this once before, but unfortunetly Gohan found me, I
remember begging him not to tell anyone. I promised I would never do
it again, he tried to convince me that things would get better, that
all I needed to do was tell my crush how I felt. I couldn't tell him
it was Trunks, he wouldn't have understood. He told me to 'give it
time, that I'd get over her.' I think he thought I was talking about
Paresu. He said that in no time I would be begging Mom to go outside
again. Bullshit."

<<The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over I've survived
And I can't wait 'til I get home
To pass the time in my room alone>>

"It is a big world out there you know, and the time goes by rather
quickly. The time passed even faster while Trunks was gone, because
all I did was try to keep myself busy till they all got back. Because
I belived the saying, 'time flies when your haveing fun.' But now
time goes by slowly, especially today. Last time I tried this I slit
my wrists, but beacause I'm 1/2 Saiyan Gohan got there before I bled
to death. This time I'm makeing sure I don't fail." ::He powers up a
ki blast in his hand and holds it over his heart:: "I'm sorry
everybody, I love you all. And I'll see you in Kai-sama's kingdom.
Good-bye." ::We see him let the blast go, the expression on his face
never changing as the blast rips through his chest and his heart. He
slumps in his chair, his arms falling showing the hole where his
heart once was. A tear slips down his cheek as the tape stays on that
scene for a few minutes before the tape runs out and shuts off::

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The End
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