Which Tom Riddle Ship Are You?

I have been waiting for you to appear... I knew you'd come.
I have many questions for you, dear Tom shipper. Do you feel brave?
Do you feel safe now? Take your time. I'm in no hurry. Muahahaha.

1. If a magic diary started talking back to you, you would...

...burst into tears and flee.
...report it to the Ministry at once.
...be absolutely thrilled and keep on writing in it.
...destroy it! Try to destroy it, at least. Or pretend to try to destroy it. Yeah.
...never rest till you've figured out how it works.
...yawn. Such an over-used plot device.

2. Tom and Ginny are in the Chamber of Secrets. What do you do?

Rush in and rescue Ginny!
Rush in and rescue Tom!
Fast-forward Ginny's age to 16 and hang a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door.
Ginny? That's not Ginny. That's me, damn it!
Hide, wibble, and wait until it's all over.
Shag Tom. Shag Ginny. Shag Harry. Shag the basilisk. Shag the phoenix.

3. Do you tell your Real Life friends that you're into HP fanfiction?

No, I'm too embarrassed - people would laugh at me.
Yes! In detail! I go on and on for hours about ships, squicks, fics, canon, fanon...
I've told a select few. They've been very kind. They think I need help.
It's none of their damn business what I do in my secret identity.
I don't have any RL friends. Waaah.
I'm waiting till I'm the hottest author in the fandom - then I'll shout it from the rooftops.

4. What do you think of Tom/Draco?

Oh god, not another Time-Turner accident fic...
Eeeewww. Squicky-squick-squick!
Yum! HOT + HOT = *drooly fangirl meltdown*
Draco who?
Intriguing, but highly improbable.
No way. Tom is mine. All mine. *glaring possessively*

5. Christian Coulson. Is he worthy?

Yes. Oh yes. *swoon*
No. He's nowhere near as good as my Tom!
I reserve judgement until I've seen the movie at least 30 times.
I reserve judgement until I've seen him naked.
Christian who? What fics has he written?
Mmm, nice wand.

6. What color are Tom's eyes?

Red. He's Lord Voldemort, remember?
Green as a fresh-pickled toad.
Blue. Looks lovely with black hair.
Brown. For no particular reason.
Amber, turquoise, violet - something exotic.
Whatever color JKR says they are, if she ever tells us.

7. How important is canon, really?

Very, very important. I'd be lost without it.
The books, movies, and all JKR's chats are great sources of plot bunnies.
I hate the way people keep misspelling that word as "cannon". Idiots.
Um, do the movies count as canon? I like visuals.
Can't be that important - Tom doesn't even get naked in canon.
Canon, schmanon. What's it ever done for me?

8. Which of these pairings is the worst?

Harry/Ginny
Dumbledore/Hagrid
Peter/Lily
Sirius/Harry
Snape/Lockhart
Ron/Hermione

9. Your doorbell rings. You open the door - and there is Tom Riddle himself. Your reaction?

"You. My bedroom. Now."
"Stay away from me, you... evil, evil person, you!"
Rub eyes. Decide you've been reading too much fanfic. Resolve to get a life. Close door.
Ask him to wait while you get online and spread the news. Cross-post to all lists, start new threads on all boards, update your blog, and IM your friends. Then shag him.
Ask him to enchant himself into your diary, so you can keep him.
But I don't have a doorbell. Is this like an AU, or what?