Words of Wisdom

My first word of wisdom, is why on earth did you come here?  Its me! I thught you would know better, but I see young child that you need my guidence, feel the force, live long and prosper, and all the other sayings, I will be your teacher in the University or Life....

Life Avoid life, it'll kill you in the end Anything good in life is either illigeal, immoral or fattening Living on Earth is expensive, bu it does include a free trip around the sun once a year The universe is just a figment of its own imagination There are three types of people in this world, those that can count, and those that cant Never trust a man with a beared You can never have enough friends A day without sunshine is a bit like night Death is hereditary A clean desk is a sure sign of a clutterd draw What happens if you get scared half to death twice? My theory is that Darwin was adopted Radioactive cats have 18 half lives If at first, you dont succeed, destroy all evidence that you even tried If at first, you dont succeed, buy her another beer! I used to keep an open mind, but my brain kept falling out

Other How would you know if something in the dictionary was spelt wrong? If you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn? Everbody has a photographic memory, some dont have film. If you cant convince them, confuse them Boycott shampoo, demand the real poo! There is no future in time travel. On the other hand...You have 5 fingers Smith and Wesson, the original point and click interface . I have a drinking problem, two hands but one mouth. I poured spot remover on my dog, now hes gone If you had to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

Love The nice guy never gets the girl War is a bit like love, easy to start but hard to stop Everything in life is based upon lust Lust should never exist The best berries on the bush is always out of reach You may be one person in the world, but you are also the world to one person Happines comes through doors you never knew you left open

People laugh at me when I say that alchol is in fact good for you, by lend me your ears.. A herd of buffulo, being hunted by 5 lions.  The herd may only move at the speed of the slowest buffulo, which will be the weakest.  The lions will always go for the easiest prey, and as the slowest and weakest is the easiest, it will strike for that one.  Now the weakest buffulo has beed killed by natural selection, it improves the speed of the herd, so slowly, the entire herd will eventually become better, stronger and quicker. Now take alchol, it kills braincells right?  Well, by natural selection, the weaker braincells will be destroyed first, and by the laws of nature, the brain may only go as fast as the slowest cell.  By destroying this cell, the effecienty of the brain will improve. So my good listeners, scientists have been telling LIES, drink alchol is what we all need to do...