High School Lovers
	When I was in high school, I had a girl friend. Actually, I had several, technically; because our all-male boarding school had regular events with several all-girl boarding schools in the Washington, D.C. Metropolitan area. With so few Blacks attending these predominately White boarding schools, we had to entertain all of the Black girls that ever attended any of these functions. Well, its not like we did so grudgingly, but out of our own sort of "jung," you might say. Anyway, out of this mixed bag of fortune there was one girl who became sort of "more special" than the others. But as I do recall, even that special quality was, in part, the projection of a lot of peer pressure. Because, actually, from an early age I was fairly taken by spiritual considerations, by my Christian upbringing. Therefore, there was this nagging contradiction inside: "I should seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness;" versus "if you do not have a girl friend then the other guys will think you are strange." Now I see this same peer pressure creeping into KMLA. If you do not have a girl-friend or a boy-friend, then you must be really strange, or really lonely. Personally, back then in High School, I would have preferred not to be plagued by the peer pressure. Looking back on all the grief that this orientation lead me into in college, I wish that I had left the girl-friend, boy-friend trip to others, and just focussed on becoming one with God; becoming a Bodhisattva (bosal), so to speak... Now I have come to realize that Heaven knows the perfect match for each of us. We do not have to seek, or worry about being loved. We do not have to chase or be chased. We simply have to trust Heaven. Beyond that, we have to love everyone as God's long-lost son and daughter and embrace each one with God's longing heart of ten thousand years. for only that kind of love can restore this world. Hence, love will leap from my brow, and love will shine through my eyes, and love will stretch my smile ear-to-ear; love will flow through every syllable of my voice. Then, in that way, I will master the art of love! If you focus on that great, eternal task, then when the one whom heaven prepares comes along, you will not need to be anxious and wonder if that 'significant other' loves you or not. For it does not matter. What matters is the wealth, and strength, the height and depth of my love. And if I have love for another, who is shy or running away from me, then I have to ask myself, if my love is true. For if it were true I would not expect more than that person is willing to return. And such a posture would draw the destined one to me, naturally. But, yes, we should rather wish for the other to be fulfilled in the highest love, and even be willing to accept that that fulfillment may not be through myself. We should hope that 'the other' may first come to an honest and pure maturity, becoming one with the mandate and heart of Heaven. If so, we all may find our true soul mate, effortlessly. And if that soul mate happens to be someone you already know and love, then fine. But what a mistake if we "fall" in love only to find out that I was not acting in harmony with the mandate and heart of heaven. We have to learn to live and pray "not as I will, but as Heaven wills." I hope that this peer pressure at KMLA can subside, but many people tell me that already Korea has gone too far down the road of American values to turn back now. If so then so many of our students will become distracted and caught up in the fashion and fad of being seductively attractive and being in love. Forget all that! Become the best you can be and find your strength and affection in being a good and reliable friend to all of your KMLA brothers and sisters. Unless, of course, you are ready to marry! If so, then tell your mother and/or father your interest to marry early, and with their prayers and support then you should state your case to that one and only love. Actually, I would like for my kids to get married early. I wish that I had gotten married in High School, prior to going to college. I would be willing to support my son's budding family while he or they are going through college, rather than see my son running the risk of many rocky and dangerously unstable relationships springing out of lust or peer pressure. Sometimes this place, the schedule, the rules, the friendships, and just the trials of puberty are enough to get a person down. Then quite easily we may feel that the void--like a vast desert--is causing an aching inside of us for a special someone to pour themselves in and fill up the gaping hole in our "love life." And yes, I do remember being so in love, where just a glimpse of my beloved sparked cascading volumes of joy and longing. But I also recall that, back in those days I was never thinking of our compatibility as a function of our hope for our children's children's children. No one had ever raised such an idea before me. I wish I knew then, what I know now. Now, I am married and we have three boys. And our love grows stronger day by day, week by week, year by year--perhaps because the purpose of our love is so huge and great, stretching out before us, generation upon generation into a bright, shining Fatherland... one great universal family on the cosmic level. So, my advice to all these would-be lovers. Now is not the time for such loving distractions. But if you are convinced that "THE" one is here, go ahead, propose! Even get married, right away! You do not have to actually consummate your marriage and start a family until sometime later. My wife and I did not start our family until after I had completed college. However, the stability of knowing that you are married, may protect you from the jerking roller-coaster world of campus dating; falling in and out of love. But I would recommend considering the thought of marriage only if God were in the equation and only if you can imagine yourself, together with your beloved, wrinkled, with children (or grand children, or great grand children even)! Yours truly, Carlton Johnson, KMLA English Department Comments, Questions, and suggestions welcome!
email: carltonj@hotmail.com	Links Back to the Minjok Freshmen 6th-Wave, Volume 1 , Three Boys and a Mom, a poem... , On a Day So Green So Blue , Nur Abdur Rashid ... My music and more, personal poetry , True Love, as a Spiritual Phenomenon , The Pure Love Alliance , True Romantic Love