A Sterling Read

The SAS Newsletter

 

Website: www.sas-publishing.com  Email: sales@sas-publishing.com

 

Subscribe to the new SAS newsletter. Meet the men behind the legend and help to support the story behind the men behind the legend. Meet today’s SAS Playmate of the month: Des

 

Des is 35 and his measurements are 40-32-36. He is 6’ 2” tall and weighs 210lbs. Des’ favourite colour is blue and he likes soul music. Des would like to work with children and animals when he leaves the regiment and would like to help work for world peace. Des’ favourite weapon is the Ingram and he likes Stars in your eyes on TV. Des prefers the karate chop to the neck to kill sentries, as he hates cleaning his knife. Des isn’t married but he is looking and would like an intelligent woman to talk to and would treat her like a real woman. Des has been in the army for fifteen years but before that worked with old people. Des is always smiling, even when he kills somebody. Good old Des.

 

 

 

Meet people like Des at SAS Speed Dating. Every month at the Best LeftAlone Hotel in Hereford, every first Saturday of the month, starting at 20.00hrs. Ask for Des, you might get lucky.

 

 

New to the SAS range:

 

SAS Moisturizer for Men: How do you think the SAS keep their skin so soft? Do you have problems with cam cream? Does being macho and shaving with your knife leave a rash? SAS Moisturizer for Men will solve all your problems. Also SAS Moisturizer for

Men is edible. Tired of those dry Biscuits AB, try spreading some SAS Moisturizer for Men on them, you’ll notice the difference and be the envy of all your friends. In addition, SAS Moisturizer for Men will free rusted parts. Wheel bearing seized or can’t get that nut off? SAS Moisturizer for Men will do all this and more. Available in tubes, cans or drums. Prices and full details on the website.

Available from SAS Products Ltd, a subsidiary of www.sas-publishing.com.

Website: www.sas-products.co.uk  Email: sales@sas-products.co.uk

 

 

The All time SAS Top Ten as voted for by the Regiment and Channel 6

 

  1. I’m in the mood for dancing – The Nolan Sisters
  2. All kinds of fcuk all – Dana
  3. The Birdie Song – Various
  4. Two little boys –Rolf Harris
  5. Agadoo – Black Lace
  6. There are fcuking hundreds of bicycles in Nanking – Katie Meluauaua
  7. Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony – Bach (Welsh)
  8. The three tenners – Bribe/Sweetener by Katie Meluauaua
  9. Agadoo – Black Lace Disco Mix featuring Slog John B, Snoop Arrse T, Anne Widdecombe, Ali H, Delia Smith and Tony Bliar on guitar.
  10. All or none of the above.

 

 

Ryan’s Recipe

 

Today’s recipe is Cream of Tomato Soup and serves three or two greedy fcukers. Go to a local supermarket and pick up a tin of tomato soup even own brand is good enough. Pick up a bottle or jar of stain remover, as you know Granddad always dribbles and it’s a bugger to get his vests clean. If you intend to pay for the goods, proceed to check out not forgetting to get Air Miles, Nectar Points, Tesco Plus Points or your Computers for Schools vouchers. Arrive home four hours later.

 

If you don’t wish to pay for goods then check security cameras, floorwalkers or store detectives. Store detectives when male are usually found examining women’s sanitary products and the female persuasion usually hang around the razors weighing up the merits of the three-blade system. Stuff items in an inner pocket and walk out with all the confidence you can muster. Arrive home half an hour later.

 

Open tin, spill tin, wipe up contents with rag and squeeze into saucepan and heat. Forget about soup and allow to boil over. Return to supermarket for Isit Bonk to clean cooker and return home half an hour or four hours later, depending on whether you paid for it or nicked it. Reheat what’s left of soup, pour into bowl and garnish with a spoon and chuck on the table. Watch Granddad dribble and when finished, wash his vest. The soup has no calorific value, as you didn’t even eat a spoonful but Granddad’s vest contained approx. 140 calories. Cost 75p and/or 100 hours Community Service if caught stealing the soup.

 

 

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