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The SAS Newsletter Issue 2
Website: www.sas-publishing.com Email: sales@sas-publishing.com
Subscribe to the new SAS newsletter. Meet the men behind the legend and help to support the story behind the men behind the legend. Meet today’s SAS Playmate of the month: Rod
Rod is 37 and his measurements are 39-30-32. He is 6’ 0” tall, weighs 190 lbs. Rod’s favourite colour is red, and he likes punk music. Rod would like to work with children and animals when he leaves the regiment and would like to help work for world peace. Rod’s favourite weapon is the MP5 and he likes Neighbours on TV. Rod prefers the thumb in the eye to incapacitate sentries and he loves cleaning his knife. Rod isn’t married but he is looking, would like an intelligent woman to talk to and would treat her like a real woman. Rod has been in the army for seventeen years but before that worked in the tourist industry. Rod is always smiling, even when he doesn’t kill somebody. Good old Rod
Meet people like Rod at SAS
Speed Dating. Every month at the Best LeftAlone Hotel
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New to the SAS range:
SAS Oven Gloves. Don’t burn your hands when you try Ryan’s recipes, use the SAS Oven Gloves. The SAS Oven Gloves are made of the best asbestos and cotton and are guaranteed not to give you asbestosis. Neatly patterned and incorporating the SAS cap badge, try them. Guaranteed not to leave fingerprints at a job. Also available, the SAS pinny. Keep your combats clean and look smart.
Prices and full details on the website.
Available from SAS Products Ltd, a subsidiary of www.sas-publishing.com.
Website: www.sas-products.co.uk Email: sales@sas-products.co.uk
The All time SAS Top Ten Butch Heroes as voted for by the Regiment and Channel 6
Ryan’s Recipe
Today’s recipe is Jugged Hare. Apply for a shotgun licence and get refused as you have a record, a parking offence twenty years ago but you’re still a criminal and can’t get a licence. Borrow a shotgun from Mad Danny as he’s doing a twenty stretch in Parkhurst but managed to get a legal shotgun licence and borrow his shotgun from his wife who is absolutely gagging for it. Give her one but keep quiet about it.
Take the shotgun out in the country and look for a hare, preferably already in a jug. Shoot something with big ears and find out you were in Gloucestershire and have just shot the heir to the British throne. Run away quickly, avoiding his special branch minders and Camilla who packs a nasty punch.
Go to a local supermarket and buy it ready made or ready jugged. Buy a wine to compliment it looking carefully at the label. The wine must look and sound posh but taste is unimportant as you can also pick up a case of beer and drink that while your guests praise the shite wine you bought for them. Do not forget to lay out a ground sheet under the dinner table as guests may spit out the wine, its shite wine but it is posh to pretend to taste it like that and a good excuse if its really shite. Perhaps a few buckets dotted around the room might help. Continue drinking your beer and drift off into a coma.
To come, Toad in the hole with fresh toads, Shepherds Pie.
Finally a word from FART
FART is an organisation that looks after SAS Troopers. FART would never put a healthy trooper down, FART trains them and socializes them and puts them back into society. FART provides all they need on active service like uniform, weapons, ammunition and even food.
You can help FART to help a trooper by adopting a trooper. You pay so much a month and your donation provides everything needed to help this trooper perform his duties. If you want him to have more, you can top up your contribution at any time and a FART donation is tax deductible. Your trooper will send you updates and will even remember your birthday.
Leave the SAS something in your will. A Mrs X who was strangely but sadly killed on Brecon Beacons, left her entire estate to the SAS and helped to fund a regiment that is severely cash strapped. Government cutbacks, funding problems, you can alleviate all this by leaving something to the SAS. You know it makes sense. Give us a ring and we will send somebody round and even fill it in for you.
FART is a registered charity. Support FART. FART is linked to the SBS charity WET FART. FART is the Funding and Aid to Rescue Troopers. Full details on the website.