When You Opened my Eyes
by Manille
Botan couldn’t help but feel her heart beat faster as she swooped down on one of the sidewalks of the vast Mushiyori City there in Ningenkai, the human world. There he was, that lithesome and charming man, pacifier and all, looking up at her.
She stopped her trusty flying paddle in front of her Master Koenma. "Hop on," she told him. Koenma readily agreed and sat behind Botan on her paddle. They zoomed off towards the sky, where the wind was bitter cold on that winter day.
"You came just in time," Koenma told her after a few minutes of silence.
"Arigatou," she said quietly.
Unknown to Koenma, Botan was swallowing hard. When was the last time I felt this way? Botan asked herself. This can’t be. He’s a prince and I’m just his messenger.
"Are you cold?" Koenma asked.
Botan had to nod stiffly. The wind burnt her cheeks quite badly.
She suddenly felt Koenma wrap his jacket around her. She smiled at him gratefully, then stared off in a distance, pretending to be serious about taking Koenma back to the Reikai, the astral world.
Koenma couldn’t take it much longer. "Botan," he asked, "is something wrong with you today?"
"No!" Botan cried. She turned to him with a big grin on her face to at least reassure him that she was fine. "Why?"
"I don’t know…lately you seem so…tense."
Okay, so he has noticed. Botan smiled even wider. "There’s nothing wrong with me, Master Koenma. It’s just in your imagination."
Koenma shrugged. "Okay."
Botan breathed a sigh of relief.
A few moments later, the two stopped in front of the Great Enma’s temple in the Reikai. Koenma stepped off Botan’s paddle and turned to her.
"Botan," he said, "you may go back to Ningenkai if you want. I’ll be staying here for a while. I’ll call you when I need you."
"Sure," she replied.
Koenma gazed at her for a few moments. His intense hazel-brown eyes burned into hers, traveling deep into Botan’s soul that she wondered if Koenma understood all of a sudden what she had been hiding from him - and from all of the others - for a long, long time.
With a slight nod, Koenma closed his eyes and headed towards the massive gate of the temple. The wind, which was much warmer there than on Ningenkai, tossed his brown hair back, making him look more handsome and distinguished.
Botan inhaled deeply. Koenma’s scent stuck on his jacket. He smelled…nice. Speaking of the jacket, Botan forgot to return it to him.
Oh, it’s not my fault. He forgot to ask for it as well, Botan reasoned as she hopped off her paddle and waited until Koenma had gone inside. Then she followed him and went towards the library in the temple.
Botan wasn’t exactly the studious type - she was usually hyperactive, cheerful, and a bit crazy. But what else was there to do? She browsed through a tower of books. She took one out of impulse. It was already dog-eared and untidy. Perhaps Koenma had read it. She opened the book and gasped. Computers? Koenma, tinkering with computers? Not! She placed the book back on the shelf.
Pulling another book from the shelf, she leafed through the pages. It was one of the fairy tale books from Ningenkai. But of course, they weren’t real. They were just a product of imagination, a matter of the mind. One has to be a brain to make up a good story.
Botan shook her head. No one can ever write or say how a girl really feels when she’s in love. Nope, not even the best authors can do that, even when they, themselves, know how it feels. It’s the greatest mystery of the universe.
"Botan!" Botan turned her head just in time to see Saotome George, Koenma’s assistant, coming up towards her. "I thought you’re in Ningenkai!"
Botan grinned. "I decided not to go. I’d be doing nothing out there, anyway."
"Oh, okay. Master Koenma would probably need you by now."
Botan felt herself color. "Uh, why?"
George shrugged. "Don’t know. I guess he needs to go back to Ningenkai again."
Botan’s shoulders slumped. "Again?"
"Is there anything wrong with that?"
"It’s too cold out there!"
"You’ve got your jacket."
Botan looked down on herself. Koenma’s jacket—she had almost forgotten about it. She removed the jacket and placed it on a nearby table. "This is Koenma’s," she explained. "He lent it to me when he noticed that I was near my freezing point on Ningenkai."
"Oh," George muttered. "Anyway, I’ll see you later. I’ve got to find something around here."
Botan pouted her lips. Koenma had been pushing her way too far now. And to think that he had just sent her away—and now, less that an hour later, he wants her to give him a lift on her paddle again.
Wait a minute. Can’t Koenma go to Ningenkai by himself? He can certainly do that! Besides, he’s from the Reikai himself, and he’s the prince. Then why…does he want Botan to take him back and forth the Ningenkai and the Reikai?
Botan closed her eyes and screamed inwardly. How can I be so stupid not to think about that? she asked herself. Then she remembered—she had been too preoccupied with the fact that Koenma had been sitting right beside her on her paddle. Who wouldn’t be when you have such a guy nearby?
The door to the library flew open. "Botan, I’m so glad you didn’t come back to Ningenkai!"
Botan looked at Koenma and cocked an eyebrow at him. "I though you’re going to be in here for a while."
"Well, that was a while, wasn’t it?" Koenma said as he moved towards Botan.
Botan glared at Koenma.
Koenma guiltily grinned at her and made the peace sign. "Sorry."
"So, I suppose you’re going to ask me if I can give you a lift?"
Koenma didn’t remove that silly grin. "Can you?"
Botan rolled her eyes. "As always. Just for you, oh master."
Koenma whooped with triumph. All of a sudden, much to Botan’s surprise, he hugged her. Tight and long.
Koenma released her after a long while. "I’m so glad you’re here," Koenma told her. Then he smiled and turned towards the door. "I’ll just pull my stuff together, and then we’re off. Wait for me in my office. Arigatou gozaimasu!" With that, he was away.
Botan stared at him open-mouthed and blushing. Koenma had forgotten to pick her jaw up from the floor, or maybe he hadn’t noticed. Chills traveled up and down her spine. What had happened? Koenma hugged me? That was the first time he ever did that. It was the first time he plucked up the courage, or whatever it was he plucked, to be that close to her. Botan’s feelings were a mixture of emotions she found hard to calm down.
When she gathered herself to one whole piece, and Koenma’s jacket as well, she went towards his office. He had been waiting for her.
"Look, Botan. I really appreciate your help. Arigatou gozaimasu, really."
"There’s one thing I don’t understand though, Master Koenma," Botan told him. "Why do you want me to take you there? You can go by your own, right?"
Koenma seemed to be caught off-guard. He didn’t say anything. Botan looked closer. Amazingly, strangely, Koenma was flushed.
Botan blushed as well. Had I said something? she wondered. The two of them stood there, both faces as red as two ripe tomatoes.
Koenma was the first to snap out of the awkward moment. "Ah…well…it’s nothing, really."
There was no answer in there, but Botan decided to let it go. "So, I guess we’d better go now."
"Uh, right."
Botan handed him his jacket. "I forgot to give this back, by the way."
Koenma shook his head. "Wear that while you’re on Ningenkai," he said.
Neither Botan nor Koenma said anything afterwards, as they flew on her paddle towards earth. Botan kept her eyes glued on what was ahead of them; Koenma just sat silently on the back, watching whatever Botan herself was looking at.
It was nighttime in Mushiyori City when they arrived. There were only a few clouds unlike that day. The bright full moon and the countless silver stars overhead, and the multicolored lights from the numerous buildings below the two, seemed to welcome them in a whoopla of glittering lights.
Botan sighed involuntarily. "There’s something about just staying up here and watching those colorful lights…above and below."
She said it mostly to herself. She didn’t expect Koenma to say something.
"Beautiful," he simply whispered.
Botan turned to look at him. Her nose brushed his, but Koenma didn’t move an inch. His face was too close on her own, she realized. Less than an inch close. She saw those beautiful eyes more closely than she’d ever seen them. They reflected the moonlight behind her. And where was that pacifier? Her gaze dropped on his lips. As it did, her heart skipped a beat.
Time stood still as the paddle stopped flying. Botan closed her eyes. She felt Koenma’s warm breath caress her lips like a warm tropical breeze.
Slowly, she felt Koenma’s lips touch hers. Softly, warmly, subtly. His lips were soft and velvety. Excitement traveled up and down Botan’s spine as Koenma pressed his lips harder against hers. Bliss.
Botan parted her lips and let Koenma kiss her more. Her mind and heart were in a total chaos. Where had everything gone? she wondered incoherently. Why is it that I could only feel Koenma’s lips and body and nothing else? Why are we here? Why…
Botan snapped her eyes open. She suddenly gasped and pulled her lips away from Koenma’s.
Koenma opened his eyes and saw Botan’s terrified face. She was shaking uncontrollably.
"B-Botan…"
"M-Master Koenma, I-I’m sorry," she stuttered. "I…I…"
"Botan, it’s okay." Koenma’s voice came out as a whisper. "I -"
Without another word, Botan urged her paddle to move on. They dived towards the ground. Koenma was taken off-guard and he almost fell down from the sky.
"Botan, slow down!" Koenma yelped, quite angrily. "I almost lost my grip!"
Botan didn’t dare say anything. Her eyes were brimming with tears. She tried to hold them, but her eyes deceived her. Her tears continually fell down. She kept her head away from Koenma’s sight.
She stopped the paddle on a deserted corner, where a lone street lamp drew a yellow halo on the concrete ground.
Koenma didn’t jump off the paddle. He remained seated as he tried to look at Botan’s face.
"Master Koenma, I think you should go," Botan choked out.
"God, Botan, you’re crying!" Koenma exclaimed. He pried her hands off her face in vain.
"Please, Master Koenma. Please go," she continued to plead.
"I’ll go only after I see that you’re all right," Koenma persisted.
Botan looked at him angrily. "I’ll never be all right!" she cried. Koenma leaned back in surprise. "I’ll never be! You…you shouldn’t have kissed me…!"
"But Botan—"
"Go!" Botan tried to yell but her voice seared her throat. "Go…"
Crushed, Koenma took one long look at her and jumped off her paddle. Botan flew away without saying goodbye.
Botan stopped flying when she reached the empty city-park. She sat down on one of the benches, dazed and numb.
She stared onto the snow-covered ground. Footprints of those who had been sitting on her place marked the snow in front of her. She wondered if those people had been happy, unlike her.
She looked at the sky. There still was the full moon that seemed to sympathize with her. Maybe the moon knew how she felt.
Why does this have to be so hard? Botan asked the moon. Why can’t I just love the one I love? Why?
Whether Koenma had feelings for her or not, Botan knew that they can never be…never…
Koenma is the prince of the Reikai, for heaven’s sake. And she is only his messenger. Just a messenger…just a messenger…
That was why she didn’t tell him her feelings before. From the moment she saw him transform from a little kid to a distinguished-looking man, her heart opened up. Then he spent more time with her, going from mission to mission. It was silly to think how plastic she looked back then. Her face didn’t show any feelings for him. But inside, she was growing fonder and fonder of him until she realized that she was falling in love. She hid it from everybody. Of course she did. If anybody finds out…
But now…it all spills out in an instant. Her feelings were released and she had kissed Koenma on the lips. Soon, Koenma’s father, the Great Enma, will learn about it. And what would happen to her? Will she be dismissed from her job as the guardian deity of the dead and as Koenma's messenger? Will she ever see Koenma again?
A tear fell down her cheeks once more. It dropped on the snow. The snow just swallowed the tear up, seemingly asking Botan to shed more tears.
Botan grew angry and shook her head savagely. Her tears fell down continually until she could hear herself whimper.
Why did I fall in love with Koenma? she asked whoever was willing to listen to her thoughts. Why me?
She sat in despair and isolation, hugging herself inside the comfort of Koenma’s jacket. She closed her eyes wearily…and soon fell asleep.
Thump. Thump.
The sound of shoes crunching the snow on the ground woke Botan up. She blinked twice and looked at the source of the sound. A policeman was walking towards her. Thankfully, just a policeman. The human race’s hero.
The memories of that evening came flooding back on Botan’s mind. What time is it, anyway? She looked at the east. The sky there, she noticed, was an interesting mixture of deep violet and navy blue.
"Hey, miss, you shouldn’t be sleeping in this bitter cold," the policeman said kindly. "You could freeze to death!"
Botan managed a smile as she stood up. "I’m sorry. I was just so tired, I didn’t notice that I have been sleeping."
"I guess I came just in time."
Botan smiled gratefully. "Maybe I must go now. Sayonara," she added as she started to walk away.
She had barely gone off a few meters when she felt a strong grip on her arm. "Hey, your eyes are all puffy."
Botan whipped her head around. It was the policeman. But he sure scared her. "I just had a row with someone last night, that’s all," she said distractedly.
"Mind if I can help it?"
An alarm went off inside Botan’s head. Seemingly frightened, she raised her eyes on the policeman’s. There was a glow in them that signaled one thing: trouble.
"Um, n-no," Botan stammered. She tried to pry her arm away from the policeman’s grasp, but he refused to let her go. "But please, I do need to go. Arigatou, but…"
"Now, lady. Don’t rush yourself. Don’t you see? Fun starts at five A.M.," he said mischievously.
Oh my goodness, this man is a lunatic, she realized in terror.
"Please, sir, I…s-someone’s…w-waiting for m-me." Koenma, please, where in the world are you now that I need you? I was there when you wanted the lift and you’re not here to save me!
Botan watched the man’s face twist in fury. "You’ve got a boyfriend!" he burst out. Botan flinched as he swore something in Greek.
Where in the world are you, Botan? Botan asked herself frenziedly. Where’s that fighting spirit? WHERE IS YOUR PADDLE?!
As a last resort, Botan made her paddle appear, and with her free hand, she thrust it into the man’s gut. The man swore something worse. Botan felt his grip loosen. She started to run away as fast as her feet can carry her. Wait. Who are you kidding, Botan? You have your paddle, you half-wit. She called her paddle and as soon as it was beside her, she sat on it and fled.
Fled? No. The paddle wasn’t moving. Botan looked behind her.
Her eyes widened in horror as she saw the man - not a man anymore. He was holding the paddle tightly that Botan couldn’t fly away. He showed her his teeth, or rather, his fangs. They were as sharp as those of a shark’s. His body doubled in size. And his eyes weren’t those of a person. They were red - a bloody, bloody red….
Botan tried to scream, but something blocked her throat. Only a whine escaped her mouth. Her heart raced against nothing. She had no other choice but to hop off her paddle and run. The creature ran after her, slowed down by his weight, leaving her paddle behind. Good. She called her paddle again frantically and sat on it.
But something was wrong again! The creature was holding it! He was as fast as lightning, perhaps as fast as Hiei or Yusuke. Botan was no match for him, none at all.
No one will know what has just happened to me…no one…not even Koenma…my dear Koenma…
Botan felt her surroundings spin around her until they seemed like a blur. She couldn’t help it. Koenma’s face was the last thing she saw before her head jerked down and she fell on the ground with a thump.
Koenma, you jerk, how could you leave her crying like that? Koenma asked himself. Why didn’t you just tell her what you have been feeling for her from the moment she came into your office for the first time?
Koenma had been walking around Mushiyori City aimlessly. He had forgotten about his recent assignment. He was searching for Botan high and low during the whole night. His knees were complaining, but his heart empowered his whole body. He had to find her.
He knew that she was still there in the city. He could feel her presence there. But…where was she?
Koenma bit on his pacifier forcefully and turned to look at the sky. It was a shade of blue already. But it can be possible that she’s still in there. Perhaps she’s with Kazuma Shizuru? Or in Urameshi Keiko’s?
Yes. Maybe I’ll check them out. You, Koenma, are such a fool for not bringing that idea up a few hours ago, when there still are some people grazing the streets and you don’t look like a thief under the midnight moon.
He looked around him. In front of him was the city-park. It was deserted; not an animal was in sight. He decided to walk across the park.
Koenma suddenly saw something that made him stop dead in his tracks. His black leather jacket, lying on the bench. He sprinted towards it and picked the jacket up. No doubt about it; it was his.
He continued to run, following whatever his heart told him. Go left, it said. He turned left. And stopped.
Botan was lying on the ground.
Her paddle was lying beside her. Someone, or something, or whatever, stood above Botan, as if ready to plunge on her and tear her to pieces.
Koenma felt heat surge throughout his body. Not minding his fears, he walked towards the creature. At one look, Koenma knew that he was from the Makai, the world of monsters.
"Have you forgotten your ruler’s law, not to interfere with the earth people?" Koenma asked the brute, his voice brave and challenging.
The monster turned to look at Koenma. The creature was menacing. But it didn’t shake Koenma’s knees a bit.
Koenma removed his pacifier from his lips. The pacifier glowed on his hand.
"Now wait a minute here, Koenma," the monster said. "I’m not going to hurt this little lady here."
"So you know me. Then what are you doing here?"
"What are you doing here?"
"I’m here to get rid of monsters who try to eat helpless women," Koenma said.
"Oh? Then who is this lady?"
"That lady," Koenma told him, "is going to be the queen of the Reikai. Now if you don’t leave her alone, my father will punish you quite badly. Or maybe," he added, looking at his pacifier, "I’ll be the one to punish you right now."
"Will that still work with your drool all over it?"
"Hah," laughed Koenma. "You haven’t seen anything yet." He held the pacifier in front the monster.
The pacifier emitted blinding yellowish-white light. The monster winced at it and stepped back.
Koenma smiled. "Now…"
"Look, I’m out of here!" The monster suddenly took off. "I’m going back to the Makai!"
The monster turned in a corner. Koenma stood there, his mouth agape, his hand still holding his pacifier.
He slowly smiled as he pocketed his pacifier. "Darn! Just when I had the chance to prove my worth!"
Scratching his head, he walked towards Botan. A wave of compassion and guilt suddenly came over him. Botan lay on the ground, her face soiled and her pink kimono ragged.
Koenma genuflected beside Botan and leaned his right cheek close to her lips. Her warm breath stroked his skin tenderly.
Koenma closed his eyes and let Botan’s breath reassure him that she would be fine. But how am I going to explain? he asked himself. What can I tell her to let her know about my feelings?
"…M-Master Koenma? Is that you?"
Koenma opened his eyes and trained them on Botan’s face. Her half-open eyes stared back at him.
"Yes, Botan."
Their lips were as close as they had been during the evening that had passed. Koenma felt tingles of excitement touch his cheeks.
"I…I heard what you said a while ago," Botan said weakly. "…That I’m -"
Botan stopped as Koenma pressed his index finger on her lips. "Hush," he breathed. "You’re too tired."
Botan sighed and closed her eyes again.
"Botan…aishiteru."
Botan’s eyes popped open. Koenma’s eyes were serious, enflaming with an intensity she had never seen before in anybody else’s eyes.
"Aishiteru, Botan," Koenma repeated softly. "I love you. Do you understand?"
"Koenma…" she mouthed, speechless. Tears threatened to flow from her eyes.
Koenma didn’t waste any time. He pressed his lips on her pink ones. All of Koenma’s pent-up longings for so many years were finally freed at that moment.
Koenma felt Botan’s fingers touch the back of his neck. She pulled his head closer to hers and kissed him back.
The sun’s golden rays shone on the couple as the two floated out of reality and into a space where nothing existed, just the two of them. None of them cared that they were lying on a sidewalk where people would see them after a few more minutes. It was enough that, after so many years, they finally knew that their hearts whispered the same thing - the greatest thing in the universe.