Sacrifices

By Melpomene

 

Sixth Chapter

Secrets

"DARN!" YELLED THE voice from underneath the pile of paper. All right, so that is a tad too inaccurate. For starters, there wasn't just a pile of paper. There was a whole mountain range of it. Besides, the person was surrounded by it, not underneath it. At least, not yet.

Koenma kicked his desk furiously, sending a tremor passing through his general vicinity. The force sent an avalanche of papers tumbling down, thereby undoing work done for nearly seven hours.

The young man emerged from the chaos, clutching a dirty book of some sort. He ignored the mess around him and headed out of his office, searching for a less tense place.

He headed for the garden. It’s the perfect place to relax, unless some pesky gardener comes around to "watch" him. Isn't he a little too old to have a babysitter?

He finally arrived at his favorite spot where he could enjoy his break without all those secretaries running about. He quickly reclined into the hammock hanging between the two adjacent trees. This is the very same one Botan helped him set up a few years ago. It was intentionally situated some distance away from the palace so that he can have some excuse of not hearing the panic stricken entreaties of his subjects.

"Ow," he yelped, as the needles that have accumulated through the passage of time pricked his butt.

He jumped off, clearing away the various plant materials. He frowned a bit. It reminded him of how long it has been since he sat on that thing for a little rest. It reminded him of how long it has been since a certain ferry girl he dotted upon had been relocated to a new workstation.

He plunked himself back into it again, eyes wide open and arms flailing momentarily as he nearly slipped from the stretchable mass of woven plant fibers. Muttering murderously, he attempted again. Thankfully, he was successful.

"Koenma no baka," he said playfully to himself. "That silly duck will kill you if she finds out you're researching while supposedly resting. Perhaps, her leaving has its ups, too. Breaks are now more productive than they've previously been."

His voice hinted sadness and dread, as if he had betrayed her for pointing out the obvious.

"Never mind," he said fiercely, shaking his head in determination. "Concentrate."

With a resigned air, he sighed deeply and flipped open the book. He frowned again, this time with annoyed puzzlement.

What's this, he thought. This is a journal or a diary.

He searched the book, scanning the yellowing pages, looking for a year or some author's name. There was neither. He went back to the first page after the flyleaf, the one with January 1st written on it.

"January first," he read aloud easily for the handwriting was classy and elegant, somewhat old fashioned. "I shouldn't be reading this."

The last phrase he didn't read from the diary. He gazed up to the barely visible treetops above him, as if expecting help in deciding from up there. In the end, his insolent curiosity prevailed. After all, being prince of Reikai gives him little opportunity to practice the virtue of respecting a neighbor's privacy.

He began to read.

January 1st

A new year, a new life and for me, a new journal. I've decided to write down my thoughts, my feelings, everything. And you, my friend, are the lucky one.

Tamara Lavinia's diary? Hmmm… Everyone will be eager to get his or her hands on you. No, this is only for my child. For my future child, that is.

This is the first secret I wish to share with you. I am with child. I am certain that he is the king's son (who else could have sired the child?). But is he/she the heir to the throne? I do not know.

I write to you, o diary, so that someone might know who I really am, how I really feel, what I really think. Because of this, I name you Redmond, for you shall be my counselor, one I've never had all my life. Also, you shall be the one to introduce to my child his mother, so that he/she may know me in case… in case, I shouldn't be there.

You ask why I seem bleak. It is New Year's Day for Reikai's sake. After all, we are in heaven, aren't we? The celebration is glorious and ostentatious, as usual. Many people were happy. Perhaps, I, too, was happy.

Sometimes, I don't know. Not anymore. Perhaps, I've stored all the emotions too much inside that they have run into each other like spilled paint. Now, they're one, uniform, indistinguishable.

You will help me. Please do, for the sake of the child. Please do.

Koenma stopped. He searched again the cover of the journal, searching for something to indicate the year it was written. Nothing, of course.

He scratched his head. "I wonder who owned this," he mused aloud. "This is a diary of some queen or maybe a concubine a long time ago.

"Duh. I wouldn't know So much for Koenma who has unimaginable information at his fingertips. Even with the name "Tamara Lavinia", I wouldn't know. I am in a society, after all, where male dominance has flourished in it's past.

"I don't even know the name of my own mother, and she's queen. At least, she should have been queen before she passed away. I always assumed that it's too painful for father to talk about but…" He frowned. "I don't remember at all."

He went back to reading. He flipped through the pages, skipping those he thought uninteresting.

Her name is Catalina…

"Catalina?" repeated Koenma aloud. "Who is that? It has to be a clue to the author's identity. Maybe, I should read the whole entry."

He started turning back a few leaves. He stopped when he finally came upon the beginning of the said entry.

January 17th  

What can I say? I suppose you already know why I write here. You know what made me leave the cramped office and all my work unfinished. I'm sorry. I have wet your pages with tears.

I know I am selfish and discontented. He never fails to mention it. Neither does my mother or anybody else I grew up with for that matter.

I have fought with him again and this time, it's for no trivial matter. However, neither is it a new one.

For the people of Reikai, the Royal Couple is the model of all the other couples in the land. They are deceived, however. The king has a secret, a secret perhaps only I know about. He has a concubine, a woman he had loved since well before our marriage.

Our marriage has always been faithless and loveless. I've always known that. We were after all just forced to get married.

None of us did anything to prevent it. He was too spineless to defy the traditions, to fight for his love. I am a woman. I have no say whatsoever in such matters. I am to shut up and go along with whatever decisions the men made.

Her name is Catalina Grey Yoshio. We had fought because for the first time ever, I had complained about my husband's illicit affair with this woman. Previously, I had remained silent as they did their dirty work in front of my own two eyes. But now is another matter.

I did it for my child. I did it so that he may have a normal family when he is born. Perhaps, I do it for her, as well. She has a child, too, for crying out loud. She has her own family.

Now, I know it is futile so I no longer care. But mark my words, if these sins affect my baby one way or another, I will never forgive them. And also myself, for I am too cowardly to stand for what is right.

Koenma whistled. "This is red hot stuff," he remarked. "No wonder they didn't computerize the files. It's too perilous with all these secrets hidden there about the family and all. I wonder…"

He returned his attention to the diary.

February 3rd

A great banquet was held today celebrating the victorious return of the--

"Koenma-sama?" asked a voice.

"Later, later," he grunted.

-soldiers of our great army. We have won the war, so its seems, and the-

"I'm sorry, Koenma-sama, but-"

"I said later!"

    

--Makai armies have been driven back. Now that Makai has adopted a feudal government system, it has been harder to--

"Koenma-sama, I am fully aware I have no right to be here but if you would at least be civil, then I can get my business over with and leave you in peace!"

Koenma flew out of his hammock in surprise and guilt. He landed hard on his behind.

"Oh, my!" exclaimed Masago, darting forward instinctively. "Are you alright, sir?"

Before she reached him, Koenma had already pounced on the diary he had accidentally tossed away a while ago.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he muttered as he crawled away. Then, he hoisted himself up with the help of the springy hammock.

"Well," he asked after a few moments later as he dusted his clothes. She stood there noiseless. "What is it you want?"

"Um," Masago started, begin to fidget. "I came to apologize for not being able to come yesterday. I do hope you can forgive me. I realize I have caused your Highness much inconvenience."

"It's quite alright, madam," said Koenma coldly. "Quite right."

He began to walk away, leaving Masago by herself, motionless.

"Well?" he said, stopping after a few paces. "What are you waiting for? Is your driver waiting outsides or do I have to have you dropped off to Castle Styx?"

He turned around cocking an eyebrow at her expectantly. Masago, on the other hand, stared at him in indignant shock, her mouth partly opened. She was forewarned about this but nonetheless was so unused to this kind of treatment she was unable to conceal her initial surprise. Still, she didn't come unarmed.

 Her astonished expression suddenly shifted to that of annoyance. Koenma immediately noticed the change and it became his turn to gawk. He started as Masago's shapely eyebrows collided, her previously dreamy eyes narrowing frighteningly, blazing and sending sparks all over.

"Listen, your Highness," she snapped, clearly having much trouble in controlling her temper. "Your Grace must be feeling high and mighty knowing I went through all the trouble of chasing after you and apologizing even though it is all your fault. Well, I hate to disappoint you but I have no interest at all in your Majesty. I hate this arrangement a hundred times more than you do. Imagine marrying a spoiled brat of a prince! I'm doing this for my family and I would greatly appreciate it if you would please cooperate, o Great Prince Koenma."

Masago stopped, panting slightly. She crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for his reply. Koenma just kept on staring, his jaw hanging open. He snapped out of it with a shake of his head.

"Um," he stuttered. "I get it. This arrangement sucks. I do this for my father, too. But I'm busy, alright? I'm not like you. I've no time to spare on this monkey business. Sorry."

He started walking away slowly. Then, he returned to disengage the hammock from the trees. He folded it with a deft motion of his hands, and then faced her.

"Let's go," he said, starting to move again. "It's going to rain soon. We'll talk in the receiving room."

Masago waited until the tall one was at least five meters away. Then she smiled privately.

"What do you know," she breathed. "It worked."

A few drops of rain fell from the sky. Masago lifted her face to the heavens, letting the dots of water wet her face. Then, she jogged after the prince, her prospect spouse.

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