I will never impress any man or woman living or dead with my feeble devotion to God and to His things... But Lord grant this, that I can let Your mad, all-seeing, all-holy devotion to a broken daughter who spends equal time crying out to You and avoiding You like the plague amaze the lowest man and the highest angel alike.
______________________________________________
14 February 1998
There is a scream here in this heart
But I don't see any comfort
'Cause the light's out
But You called me to just follow
And follow You I will
With the lights out
And one day You will hold me near You
And one day we will rise in glory
And shine the light out.
______________________________________________
29 April 1998
Hot feet, hot feet!
The salsa beat
Sends our swift feet
Dancing like we did
When once we knew
The man was ours alone
Hips, hands swaying together
As the heat melts the ice under us
The ice over the days when
All of us used to dance like this
But then we never did dance this way
But then the ice never had to melt from the past.
______________________________________________
15 May 1998
you've gotta trust something
gotta love someone
gotta go somewhere--
where are you gonna go,
who are you gonna love,
what are you gonna trust?
well I could trust my own stupidity
and love someone who's gonna die
and go someplace where the torturer lies in wait
but I'm not gonna give myself to science or lust or self-punishment
I will trust the Lord my Redeemer
I will love the Lamb my Groom
I will go to the House my Beloved has prepared
for me.
______________________________________________
29 May 1998
hammer the nail on the coffin of my death
throw the dirt over every killing word
once I had to earn it all
but it's only been to show me that I can't
and I thought I had to run and get every blessing
but now You show me that if I stand
on the promise of the rainbow and the Cross
You pour it all through me and on us all
______________________________________________
2 June 1998
I am a child of peace
But when I speak to this man
I weep as he says he is for war
We kill over the things we want
When they don't even matter
And we leave Jesus in the dust of our tracks
While we run after all the fools' gold
And say 'This car insured by Smith & Wesson'
But He calls us from ourselves
To meet the needs of other hearts before our
own
And live as if it's all passing away
So I refuse to be the killer
And I say 'This car insured by Spirit & Truth'
We are the peaceful ones
And when the fighters get the war they want
His peace will rule
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3 June 1998
Lord Jesus You command the stars
And call each thing You made according to Your
Word
You placed each star in the heavens
And heaven in the hearts of men You place in
Your world
So Abraham's shining stars will dance
For all time in the joy of Your presence
And rule in Your everlasting Day of peace
Some stars flicker in this burning night
Some are frozen till they can give no light
And every star has got a scar
But we will still shine out and make the darkness
bright
______________________________________________
3 June 1998
You teach me to turn loose
All the fools' gold in this world
Make me free to be a beggar at Your gate
And the moment that I lift my hands to Your grace
You wash me clean, sink the deep well of Your
Spirit in me
And You give me Your robe of righteousness
Every move I make will be to bless You
The song I sing will be the one You give me
I will drink from the well of Your sweet water
And my food will be to do Your work and live
Your Word
Your love broke through the power of the lies
I thought I needed to survive
You replace them with the truth of Your Word
You give me Your sword and armor to join You
in the fight
And I know You'll lead us on to victory
______________________________________________
21 June 1998
Sing to Me with all your heart. When you were a silent instrument in the corner, forlorn, strings broken and bracing rotting, unable to make a sound, I bought you because I saw My mark, the mark of the Master Maker, on you. Sing and I will brace you, restring you, restore you, bring you in tune, and use you in Our song for him who has ears to hear.
______________________________________________
29 June 1998
I'd be hopeless except that His love is so crazy it more than makes up for my thick-headed and thin-faithed humanity.
______________________________________________
12 July 1998
Little boy a-walkin' by the sea
He's a-splashin' in the water when He thinks
This is the water He'll wash us in
And the sand from which He made you and me
Young man walkin' by the sea
Watchin' the waves crash in and roll back out
Then He sees two boys, Simon Peter and Andrew
Knows they're two hearts He can send to set men
free
We are but sand, moved around by these crashing
waves
But this Man feels the sand b'tween His toes
And He picks us all up to build His home
And it's gonna be the best sand castle you ever
seen...
_______________________________________________
20 July 1998
A Shepherd's voice
Echoes through the ages
It was heard in the beginning
He spoke from a burning bush
Called soft and strong to one boy in the temple
Declared His works from the storm
Blessed the hunted prophet from the silence
This Shepherd's voice
Was made a carpenter
Spoke to whores and rogues and fishermen
With words of life and strong workman's hands
Taught the lame to dance and the blind to see
He gave nothing but His best
Called the haunted souls from chains to His embrace
My Shepherd's voice
Calls to this broken heart
Over the roars of lions I have heard Him
Once the call was faint and broken
But He's getting closer
Or maybe my blinded limping draws me closer to
Him
Soon His voice will fill my ears
_______________________________________________
24 August 1998
I been waiting for the next sunrise
And the next sunset
Can't see the one that You gave me today
'Cause I'm pressed for time
Been bound up in what I had to do
Will You stop me, open up my eyes
You gave me this breath
It's a gift from Your hand
Let me take it in and give it away for You
Well I want to have tomorrow
Would You give it to me
'Cause my heart ain't so sure it'll come at all
But somehow I know it's there in Your pierced
hands
So teach me how to rest in Your sweet hands
________________________________________________
3 December 1998
I know You're so much bigger
Than any problem I could ever have
But what I need to know is
Are You light in my darkness
Are You here in my absence
Are You wise in my foolishness
Will You break through my darkness
Bring me back to myself
And guide me into the path of wisdom
_________________________________________________
13 December 1998
Will I be taken, will I be broken
How can I be blessed, how can I be given
Your arm was taken, Your body was broken
Cursed to make me blessed, You gave because You
were given
I have been taken, by You I am broken
Through You I am blessed, I will give because
You were given
inspired by Henri J. M. Nouwen's Life of The Beloved
__________________________________________________
23 December 1998
shred my selfish self
show me the hazy nothingness of my dream world
make me a lie so that only You are true
finish purging the lies, let's get to the Truth
Your Spirit lives
through the winter freeze of my heart's silence
Your Son will soon rise
to thaw the frozen tundra...
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24 December 1998
it took You seven days
to make something beautiful
out of nothing at all
but still i wonder - will it take
seven million years
to make someone You could want to love
out of someone like me
it took You nine months
to take the sacred Word
and clothe it in ordinary flesh
but still i wonder - will it take
nine million years
to get me out of my profane flesh
and robed in that perfect Word
in six hours
on that Roman cross
You broke the brokenness
it could take six million years
for me to catch up
but if You take hold of me
it'll seem like six microseconds
__________________________________________________
25 December 1998
You signed me with the Cross
Sealed me with Your Spirit
Deliver me with Your love
To the promise You made and the promise I am