Daddy my heart is broken
Oh can You fix it Daddy please
Don't tell me how I made my bed
And how I gotta lie down in it
I been lying here so long in my sores
Paralyzed frozen with fear
Of what You should say
But now You tell me -
Little One I know I don't make sense
How could My glory fit in your head?
I told you that I never change
And I will never forsake you.
February 1999
she wants to be free
but she's at the Waffle House
still standing five feet and change
on that dirty brown floor
up where the cigarettes choke the air
been clawed to death by her pussy
but she's still standing
i used to be so free
now i sit here at the Waffle House
life falling apart at seams
but sitting here telling you
'bout how i been shredded by my own desire
and why i'm here God only knows
and i wish you would love me or set me free
21 February 1999
i trust You
because if i don't trust
i cannot live
but pardon me
for all i know of trust
is how it can be betrayed
God help me
don't let me give
another Judas kiss
but let me love
teach me what that is
now that i know
that i do not know
12 March 1999
no eye has seen
no ear has heard
no mind has conceived His wonders
but to His own they are revealed
your eyes have seen
sunrise sunset
sun moon stars and rain
to bring you a harvest in season
golden fall and summer green
but still you place your bet
as you watch wheat dance praise on the plains
for all this there is no reason
have your ears really heard
or have you mouthed Sunday school like the rest
so many seem to want a little green out of heaven's
blue
it seems like i'm hearing more adding machines
than truth
you pretend you've understood the word
but long time you've been deaf as a post
but now He's asking you
do you want your ears opened?
could your mind conceive
how to live without a mask
stop fighting to be on par
the search for honesty put you in quite a bind
he said ask and you shall recieve
but do you know what to ask
don't ask your psychic or your stars
just admit the mistakes to Him who made your
mind
2 May 1999
turn the tables on me now
throw out the bread of indifference
and the wine of sorrow
'cause it's all making me sick
and will You set a new table
Your feast of joy
the bread and wine
the Body and the Blood
15 June 1999
can i be free
as the storms that fly over me
could i flash with spirit
sudden and bright as lightning
set loose like the wind
and soaking in the only thing
that's ever given me life
we been raising so much Cain
signing the earth with each other's blood
but You took the pen from our hands
just long enough to sign us with Your own
sure as You sign the sky
with that bright burning pure flash
You know i can't even name these signatures
but Lord, if i could write like that...
16 June 1999
i hear this road calling me
always another journey
on this tangled concrete web
never know what's next
mountains or sea
just know if i sit here too long
the grass under my feet
gonna choke the fragile freedom in my heart
you tell me you're so worried
think life's passing me by
well then you just can't see
i'm passing through like the wind across the
sky
finding my joy in each mile of the journey
guess i'm not much on being caught
but it's 'cause i already been bought
by a God who came to wander
and invited me to dance with wonder
so i gotta keep right on dancing
carry the music with me as i go
learn some new stuff on the way
23 June 1999
i've heard that You see everything
but i wonder if You see the nothing i am without
You
'cause i feel this ice cold wind of fear
cutting my heart like a sharp dulled blade
and in this blind alley where can i run?
can You take me to Your mountain
where everything invites me to dance with joy
and the warm wind of Your sweet breath
could kiss my face and let me be a child again
i've tried to run the other way
and all i've ever found there is the wall that
i just hit
but You know what's really making my head spin
is how You keep binding my slashed heart
picking me up from off the ground and reviving
my dying heart
and You bring me to Your mountain
where the rocks and the trees and You and me
dance for joy
where the warm wind of Your breath
plays upon my face and makes me a child again
27 June 1999
what could you ever say
that would change His love
He wrote this story and He will finish me
not one word you say can take that away
but i am saved by one Word
His Word over me is love
i see you passing me by
hear you calling me unworthy
but He starts my story
and He will write just as He will
you can write upon my heart all your condemnations
but if i listen past your lies
i can still hear the Word of love
Labor Day weekend - somewhere near Waxahatchie, Texas
i'm about twenty miles from anywhere
thirty miles from somewhere else
sixty from Big D, six hundred from not my place
a thousand and some from wish i was there
but my friend is here and so are You
i'm rushing through nowhere
and this wild wind begs me to open my lips
so it could fill me with this wild cry
a cry for freedom and place
26 September 1999
there i fell upon my knees alone
i felt the presence of the Holy One
here within this trembling peasant
i found only every woman
but You found one who was waiting to give
and i found out You were coming -
coming to pay the bride price
there i fell down on my face alone
where vicious judges threw me to another judge
at Your feet i just waited to die
but where i was just any woman
You were the only Judge waiting to forgive
and where i had waited to die
Your love released me to live
i raised my hands in the Upper Room
and my lifted eyes watched Your fire
come and rest upon us all
i may be every woman
but there can be no more waiting to live
You anointed me and enabled me to speak
now i must speak and serve the One who calls
me out
and now i fall here before Your throne
i must confess i'm tired of waiting to give
and sick of waiting to die
guess i'm only every woman
but i'm one who wants to live with You
so now i turn my eyes to You, will You set me
ablaze
You paid the bride price and i will follow Your
steps