Little Chat

Hugh		Father?

Stephen		Yes?

Hugh		I've been thinking.

Stephen		Oh yes.

Hugh		You know how you said that Mother had gone to
		live with Jesus?

Stephen		Yes?

Hugh		Well I don't think that can be right.

Stephen		Oh?

Hugh		Yes. Because I saw Mother last night.

Stephen		You what?

Hugh		Yes. In Asda. And the man she was with was
		nothing like Jesus at all.

Stephen		(Putting down newspaper) Look, Jeremy, I think it
		may well be time that you and I had a little talk.

Hugh		Aren't we having one now, then?

Stephen		Well, yes, as a matter of fact we are. That's quite
		right. Good. How old are you now Jeremy?

Hugh		Thirty-one.

Stephen		Thirty-one, eh? When I first told you that Mummy
		had gone to live with Jesus, how old were you
		then, eh?

Hugh		Twenty-seven.

Stephen		Yes, well, goodness me, there we are you see.
		Twenty-seven. Time flies doesn't it? My goodness
		word me yes. There you are. Well now. When I
		told you what I told you it was a little bit of a fib.

Hugh		Oh.

Stephen		Yes.

Hugh		You told me a fib.

Stephen		Well it was to spare you hurt, son. You see
		Mummy didn't go to live with Jesus at all.

Hugh		As I rightly guessed.

Stephen		As you rightly guessed. What really happened was
		that Mummy died.

Hugh		Died?

Stephen		Yes. She died.

Hugh		But I saw her in Asda.

Stephen		No, you saw someone who looked a bit
		like her.

Hugh		Oh.

Stephen		You had to know sooner or later.

Hugh		How did ... how did Mummy die then?

Stephen		It's a sad story but you should know.

Hugh		Yes?

Stephen		I killed her.

Hugh		You killed her?

Stephen		Yes.

Hugh		Why?

Stephen		Why? Because she was screwing everything in
		trousers.

Hugh		Oh.

Stephen		(Returning to paper) You see?

Hugh		Yes, Daddy.