Author: DocPaul DocPaul_Inbox@aol.com
Spoilers: Up to It's Too Late, It's Too Bad.
Distribution: Exclusive to "Cause we know..." & Mud.
“We’ve been through some real
tough times lately. And the thing is that you’re right. I am going
to leave. It could be in a year, two or even fifty I can’t imagine
it ever happening, but I am going to leave. And that sucks. But it
is the price we had paid to be together. What I do know, is that I
can give you now.”
Michael watched as Maria nodded at him and
reaching over she took his hand and brought it to her mouth, where
she kissed his palm. A tear rolled down her face to fall gently in
his hand as his fingers cupped her face. She released him and wiped
away the other tears. That one gesture nearly unmanned him. With one
move, she made him sadder than he ever-remembered being, praying for
fifty years and not just one. But it didn’t matter, because if it
were only one year he got with her, it would last a lifetime. It had
to, because she was irreplaceable. Losing her, losing his humanity
would be the final walk toward nothing.
Clearing his throat
from the thickening emotions threatening to choke him, Michael
reached for a picture of Alex’s instruments. “I think this would go
nicely here.” He looked at Maria, and she gently smiled at him
through the tears. He knew this was important. It was the biggest
part of her coming to terms with the loss of Alex, and if she failed
to complete it in time, she would never forgive herself.
They
spent another two hours moving all the material around the collage,
and Michael found himself chuckling over one of Alex’s list he made
on the alternative uses of a paperclip. Alex’s humor made him one
sick pup. Amy wandered in and out a couple of times until she
finally gave in and sat down to help them. Michael didn’t notice
when food found it way to sit at his elbow, but the group of them
sat working on the collage, eating and drinking, and both woman
making Sean run for supplies.
Amy began telling the most
incredible stories about a younger Maria and Alex. Michael was
actually horrified at the story of how Alex had crafted wings and
convinced Maria to jump with him off the roof to see if they could
fly. Liz had refused and ran inside to get Amy to stop them. Maria
was still maintaining that they would have worked. She sat talking
with her mom about Alex late into the night, crying the whole while.
And for the first time since Alex died, they all just let her cry.
It was time to heal.
Michael’s whole body went into shock
when the organizing was over and Maria grabbed an X-acto knife to
begin cutting up the pictures into the shapes they needed to fit,
and Amy reach over to take it from her. For an instant in time, the
two DeLuca women fought over who should cut, and who should paste.
But all Michael could see was that sharpened edge moving all around,
jabbing the air. Stealing himself against a mortal wound, he reached
over and plucked the knife from their hands.
“I’ll cut, and
the two of you paste.”
Amy was shocked at one time during the
project looking up to find Michael wiping a tear off Maria’s face.
He leaned in and whispered in her ear, and she nodded her head as
her own hand came up to cover his where it rested on her face. They
stared intensely at each other for a moment, and then Amy watched
Maria’s eye drop to look at Michael’s lips, and suddenly her
daughter was kissing him gently. Michael just closed his eyes and
kissed her back, and when they pulled apart they both resumed
working on the collage, but Maria’s hand remained on Michael’s leg
under the table. She knew Michael loved her daughter, but this was
somehow more. It was like they had moved on to a whole new level of
maturity, overnight.
It was three in the morning before the
finishing touches were added. Amy had gone off to bed hours before,
and even Sean finally gave up around one. Helping Maria to pick up
the mess, he noticed how tired she was, how stiff.
“Leave
it.”
“I’ve got to pick up, and…”
“What you have to do
is leave it alone, let me pick up the mess while you go take a quick
shower. You’re tired, and I know how you hate to sleep without
feeling clean. So go.”
“Michael, I…”
“Go.” He watched
her take off down the hall. Slowly moving around the table he picked
up all the art supplies, and with a trash bag, he gathered up all
the scraps. The pictures they didn’t use were neatly stacked and put
away in envelopes. Finally he stood looking down at the finished
collage. He had to admit that her vision of a tribute to Alex was
very complete and beautiful. You could feel the love and sorrow that
went into its construction, a sense of sadness of a promising life
lost to senseless waste. In this one little project, Maria was able
to capture and convey to all those who mourned Alex without really
knowing him, how much they missed out on, and how much the world
would miss out on, and how much he was truly loved.
Hearing
the door open in the hall. He leaned the collage up against the wall
to dry, turned off the kitchen lights and went to find Maria. She
was putting away her dirty clothes, and stood in a t-shirt, one of
his brushing her hair. Putting the brush down, she turned to look at
him standing in the doorway. He reached out his hand to her, and she
took it as he pulled her out of the bathroom and towards her
bedroom.
Maria let him tuck her in for the night. “Are you
leaving?”
“Yeah, I think your mom would prefer not to find me
in your bed, and I am so tired the thought of wrestling Sean for the
sofa doesn’t appeal.”
“Don’t leave,
stay.”
“Maria…”
“Just for now. I need you.” Michael
felt his body reaction to that. It was his one weakness, being
needed.
“Maria, I don’t want this to be
about…”
“Shush,” She pulled him down to her and kissed him,
sucking his lower lip into her mouth, mapping all his tastes. “It’s
not about gratitude. I just want to feel for a moment, to breath
again. And I only seem able to do that around you. I missed you
these last few days. It’s been lonely with you on one side of the
town, Liz on the other, and Alex gone.”
“I know. I missed
you, too.”
“Then just hold me, be with me, and let me feel
you. I just want to remember what it feels like to be alive.”
Michael reached down and scooted her over in the bed so there would
be room for him too. “Okay, but rules are above clothes only and you
stay on your side. I don’t want your mother coming in finding us
together in bed, and minus clothes.”
“You could put us back
together….”
“No, not going to happen. I’m so tired that I
will fall asleep once my brain catches up to my body, and I have
come too far in gaining your mother’s trust to risk it now, so I’ll
stay, but only if you behave.” Maria thought about it for a second,
and she had to admit that her mother’s reaction and growing regard
for Michael was worth everything.
“Okay, I agree.” Maria
pulled him down the rest of the way on the bed. They were kissing,
and her hand found it’s way under his shirt along his skin. She like
the way his back felt all smooth with the muscles moving under her
hand. Pulling away she whispered in his ear. “I forgot to mention,
I’m not wearing anything under your t-shirt.” And with that she
nipped his bottom lip with her teeth.
“Maria!” She was being
very unfair. What could be better than naked Maria flesh under his
Metallica t-shirt, a soft bed, and Maria kissing that special spot
on his neck? He should have known better, since when did Maria
DeLuca ever behave?
Amy wasn’t surprised to see Michael
sleeping on Maria’s bed, but she did notice that he was above the
covers leaning on Maria, holding her close against him. He looked
tired, and so did Maria. Wondering how long they worked on the
collage, she couldn’t fault him for being too tired to go home, and
with Sean on the sofa there was little room for him to sleep. Going
over to the bed she pushed his shoulder to wake him. It took a
moment for his eyes to clear and bring her in
focus.
“Michael, you and Maria need to get up and around or
you will be late for school. I should mention that Sean is sort of a
cereal hog, so you might want to beat him to the cereal and milk
before it’s gone.” With that said Amy left the room. She could
almost hear the wheels turning in his head as he made note that she
didn’t hit him with anything for being in her daughter’s bed,
again.
Maria was the first one to enter the kitchen wearing a
black t-shirt. It looked like the one she washed of Michael’s that
he had left here. Obviously Maria decided that the t-shirt was a
good substitute for Michael after he was missing for the past few
days.
“Where is Michael? Is he up?”
“Bathroom. For
some reason he is convinced if I use it first there will be no hot
water left.”
Amy chuckled to herself. Michael Guerin wasn’t
stupid. “Hmm, wonder where he got that idea from.” Maria just
shrugged as she started pulling out cereal and bowls. Amy looked
over at the finished collage. It was beautiful.
“When did you
finish it?” Maria followed her mother’s glance.
“Almost four
this morning, that’s why I made Michael stay. He was dead on his
feet, and hearing about him getting ran over on his way home is the
last thing I need right now.”
“That would be hard to take.”
Maria paused in her task to look over at her mom with a hand at her
waist.
“What did you say to him? He refused to stay with me
unless I kept my clothes on, and didn’t try to tempt him into my
bed, and under the covers. What a prude.” Amy just started laughing
at Maria’s exasperated look on her face. But as usual Maria found a
way to get the last laugh on her way out the door when she heard
Michael leaving the bathroom “Luckily I am very experienced in
breaking down his resistance.” And with a cheeky grin, Maria left
the room humming. What? Amy look of outrage was aimed at her
daughter’s back, especially when Michael came into the room, but not
before Maria patted him on the butt on her way out.
The first
thing Michael saw was an angry Amy face. “What did I
do?”
Sean came in the kitchen behind Michael. “I’m sure there
has got to be a list around somewhere, Guerin.”
Amy couldn’t
stop laughing at the sight of Sean and Michael fighting over the
cereal. The sounds of their voices, and Maria’s singing in the
bathroom made her feel like some peace and balance had been
restored. It was the white paper under the table that caught her
eye. Retrieving it, she was shocked to find a missed picture of
Alex. His smiling face looked at her, taking it with her back to the
kitchen window, she felt the blow of what was lost once again. Tears
of loss and sorrow ran down her face. With the new day coming, and
the rains finally stopping, it was hard to imagine that the world
could go on without him, but somehow it did.
Alex.
The End.