I had quite a bit of whiskey on my way to The Stoop, but when I showed up, I was surprised to see that everyone was just as fucked up, if not more so, than I was. Bry's sister, and her friend, Ms. Hoffmann, were rocking the party, and decided to do a bit of cooking.
It's a good thing these chicks are fucking hot, because they can't cook worth a shit, no offense, but come on.
Everyone passed out at a respectible time (4:00 am)
I woke up the next day in true Double D fashion, at 8:00 am. No one else was up, so I went to Mickey-D's for some breakfast, and then I returned to the Stoop, to find that Brandon was the only motherfucker ready to rock. He told me about a washer tourney in Perryville, in which beer was encouraged. I was all about it. So we made our way to Perryville. For about an hour and a half I managed to finish a 12 pack of Budweiser bottles, and lose every washer game I was in. Brandon did a little better, but not much, we both lost, and started back to SEMO. On our way back, Brandon caught a quick nap, and I decided that I had chugged enough beer, and started to throw up...
while driving 60 miles per hour...
on the highway.
After the cleanup session at an exit with EVERYONE staring us down, Brandon and I made our way to Cape.
Four hours later, the Stoop Troop began to throw a party together. And as usual, it rocked my world.
I regained my bearings just in time to see Laura in a game of "asshole" I decided to be her "wingman" on the drinking game. After a few games, I was feeling a nice vibe from Laura. After the cardgames, I lost Laura for a while, and I found her in Bry's room on her cell. I decided to have a photo session; why, I have no fucking idea.
Eventually, the entire crew ended up in Jarvo's room, dancing to some gangsta rap. At one point, I was dancing with Bry's sister, and I had the internal struggle that happens within everyone's conscience at least once in their lives, a devil appeared on my left shoulder and said, "Dude, I totally want to bite that ass."and then, my angel showed up on my right shoulder and said, "TOTALLY DUDE"
And then, I seriously, BIT HER, right in the ASS.
And the moment I did it, Laura turned around and said, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"
and at the same time, the angel AND devil said, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING????"
I didn't know, I was hammered. And, not surprisingly, Laura was not hanging out with me much for the rest of the night.
Later that night, Jarv and I decided to serenade the Lauras. Our drunken asses just kept singing "LLLaaaauuurrrrraaa" for like 20 fucking minutes, eventually, we gave up.
So I decided to do what any dude would do in my position...
I had a beer.
I grabbed my Playboy...
and I passed out.
I sure know how to show a gal a good time.
