The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn
Author: Firecracker Williams
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." No truer words have ever been spoken, and they couldn't have been spoken by a more beautiful person than Felicia. Felicia meant the world to me and when I lost her, my world fell down around me. I'll never forget my time with her, I don't think I could if I tried. But, oh, what I wouldn't give to see her smiling face just one more time.
Felicia came into my life during the hottest summer I could remember. Everyone on the street was wandering around in next to nothing, everyone except for her. She always was different that the others, that's what I loved about her.
"Would you get a load a' that?" Kid Blink, my very good friend, commented, taking off his brown cap to fan himself with it.
I looked up, nearly blinded by the sun, "Get a load a' what?"
"That girl. Don't she know it's July?"
After adjusting my cap over my eyes, I sat and watched the girl from the opposite side of the street. Her red hair was shining under the amber glow from the sun right above our heads. She moved with such a grace that is still breathtaking and indescribable to this day. "Wow..."
Blink laughed, shaking his head, "I shoulda known better than ta point her out to ya."
"Uh huh. Yeah. Okay." Grinning, I stood up and began to walk towards the girl when she disappeared down the street. I thought that I'd never see her again, but that all changed within the next few moments.
"Whatcha lookin' at?" Gip asked, walking up to me and resting her elbow on my shoulder as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
I smiled shyly and shrugged, "Just a goil."
"A goil? That goil?" she asked, pointing in the direction that the girl had gone.
"Yeah, her," I answered, nodding. "What about it?"
"Oh, nothin', just that I know 'er..."
"Ya do?" I asked, my eyes wide with surprise.
"Yeah, that's Felicia. She's on her way to the lodgin' house right now."
I nodded, unable to comprehend why girls like Felicia would go anywhere near a lodging house, or this part of the city. "Well then maybe I will get ta see her again...."
"Just be careful," Gip said, a sort of warning tone in her voice.
"Careful of what?"
"She's real quiet an' shy, I don't think you should toy with her heart."
"What makes ya think I'd go an' do that?"
"I know ya, Mush. Ya got a reputation with goils."
"Well I can change!" It was true, I did have a reputation for being the "love 'em and leave 'em" type of guy, but when I saw Felicia, something inside told me that I needed to change and make her mine.
"Yeah, whatever ya say, Mush." Gip laughed, rolling her eyes teasingly at me. "Well if ya really wanna give life as a one-woman man a chance, ya better hurry up before one of the other guys sees her!"
I nodded, quickly heading towards home, "I am! I'll tell ya how it went later!"
The whole way home, I couldn't think of anything but Felicia. Finally, I had a name to place with her beauty, but I found myself wanting more. I wanted to hear her voice, to see her smile, to love her. I wanted her more than anything I had ever wanted before, but the only problem was that I didn't know how to go about it.
"Hey, Mush," Midnight said to me, smiling as he walked out of the lodging house door.
"What's the smile for?" I asked, hoping that it didn't have anything to do with Felicia.
"Oooohh, ya should see why!" Midnight replied, running his hand through his shiny, jet black hair. "There dis new goil dat just came in. Whoo, what a cutie!"
I felt a pang of jealousy run up and down my spine like a sharp pain that refused to go away. Many emotions ran through my body in those short seconds, most of them involving the need to punch something.... preferably Midnight's face. "Oh, that... nice," I said, grinding my teeth.
He nodded, rubbing his hands together anxiously. "I'm gonna go to da florist an' get her a flower. Goils love flowers. If I give 'er a flower, she'll be mine in no time." Chuckling, he smirked over his shoulder at me as he jauntily walked away.
Determined not to let myself get beaten by Midnight, I quietly walked inside the lodging house. Once inside, I looked around the room for Felicia. Luckily, she was sitting on one end of an empty couch, a pensive look on her face. "Can I sit here?" I asked, smiling warmly down at her.
Felicia looked up at me and nodded, "Umm... sure..." She looked back down shyly and began fixing the sleeves of her dress.
"Thanks." I smiled again, extending my head out to her. "I'm Nick Meyers, but everyone 'round here calls me Mush."
"I'm Felicia," she replied, almost inaudibly, as she briefly shook my hand.
"Felicia, huh? That's a real nice name." I fell in love with her right away, there was no avoiding it. I had only heard four small words escape from her lips, but they were the most beautiful sounds to ever grace my ears. It was then that I realized I was staring, so I shook my head slowly and coughed. "So, umm, do you got a nickname?"
"A nickname?"
"Yeah, like mine's Mush..."
"And Jo's is Gip?"
"Yes, exactly. How do you know Gip anyway?"
"She's an... old family friend," Felicia hesitated, almost as if she had to think of the reason. She seemed really nervouse around me and, at the time, I wasn't quite sure why, so I didn't want to take any chances and scare her any more. "You asked if I had a nickname, right?"
I nodded, unsure of what to do, "Yeah, I sure did."
"Jo thinks that Firecracker's a good name for me."
"Fire's a nice name, it suits ya well."
"It does?"
"Yeah." I laughed. I had only known her for a few minutes, but I somehow felt like she invited me into her world. "I know this sounds kinda odd since I just me ya, but I can see this fire in ya that I haven't seen in anyone else." I smiled, leaning in close to her.
She looked at me as if I had three eyes, her face pale in apparent fear, and slowly began to stand up. "I think I better get going and find my bunk. Nick, Mr. Meyers, it's been a pleasure meeting you, and now that I've met you, I better let you go about your business. Goodbye." She waved and quickly disappeared up the stairs.
I sat there completely baffled by what had just happened. "What did I do?" I asked myself, leaning back against the couch.
"She's scared," a voice from behind me replied, completely surprising me.
I turned around to see Gip over my shoulder again, "Oh, Gip. Hey."
Gip hopped over the back of the couch and sat down beside me, "What happened?"
"I was talkin' to her an' I guess I scared 'er."
"Well, what didja say?"
"I told her that Fire was a perfect name for her because I thought there was a fire inside of her that no one else has, an' that's when she stood up an' ran up the stairs."
Gip nodded, "I see. I'll talk ta her an' explain things."
"But why did she get scared?"
"Before I tell ya, ya hafta promise not ta say anything. Not a word."
"I promise."
"Okay. Well, she just got outta this real bad relationship an' she's still skittish 'round guys."
"Could a relationship really be that bad?" I asked, not really thinking that the relationship really had been as bad as it had.
Gip nodded, "You have no clue."
"Gip, ya gotta warn her."
"About what?"
"About Midnight."
"Midnight?"
I nodded, "Yeah, Midnight. He's got his eye on 'er, an' you know what that means..."
"Yeah, I know... She hasn't got a chance if he gets to 'er..."
Gip quickly stood up and walked over to the stairs, leaning on the banister, "I'm gonna go an' talk to 'er, I'll find ya later an' tell ya what happened."
"Okay, Gip. I owe ya one!" I said, a smile quickly coming over my face.
*~*~*~*
Gip walked into the bunkroom, softly knocking on the doorframe, "Felicia, are ya in here?"
Felicia looked up, wiping her eyes, "Jo? Is that you?"
"Yeah," she replied, walking into the room. She walked over to the bunk that Felicia chose for herself and sat down next to her. "Is somethin' wrong?"
"No," Felicia answered quickly, shaking her head. "Don't worry about it. I'm just scared, that's all."
"Scared of Mush?"
She nodded slowly, "He didn't seem to know he did anything, but I was still scared all the same."
"You don't hafta be scared of Mush, he ain't like Aaron."
"No one could ever be as big of a monster as Aaron is, no one."
"What finally made you decide to leave?"
"It was everything," Felicia shrugged. "I was sick of the abuse. I was sick of waking up every morning, worrying about if he was going to rape me or not. He took my innocence away from me, Jo, and he has a son to parade around while I have nothing but fear and pain to show for it." She looked down and started to cry again. "I didn't mean to act this way around Mush, but it's all I know after living in fear for the past three years."
Gip looked at her friend and sighed sadly, "Every time we meet up it seems like we have more in common..."
"I know, it seems like there's more than just a blood relation that keeps us together."
"Maybe, Felicia," Gip replied, shrugging.
"Hey, Gip?"
"Yeah?"
Felicia looked up at her, a hint of a smile on her tear-stained face, "Call me Fire."
Gip chuckled softly, nodding, "Sure thing, Fi."
*~*~*~*
I sat on the front steps of the lodging house, whistling to myself as I waited for Gip to tell me how everything went.
Just as I took off my hat to wipe my forehead with it, the door behind me opened and Gip stepped out.
"Well, I got some good news for ya," she said, stealing my hat from me and lightly hitting me on the back of the head with it.
"What's that?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head.
"She don't hate ya..."
"She don't? Great!"
"But..."
"But what?"
"You'll hafta earn 'er trust."
"Earn it? How?"
Gip shrugged, "Try bein' friendly to 'er, show 'er that you wouldn't think of hurtin' her."
"Then what?"
"Then tell 'er how ya feel, see how she takes it. But, whatever ya do, keep this in mind. She's had a rough life, it takes a while for her ta trust people, so ya gotta be patient. It may be hard, but ya gotta stay calm."
A flood of thoughts rushed through the halls of my mind at that moment. I understood that I needed to be patient with her, but I couldn't quite understand why anyone would want to hurt a person as wonderful as Felicia. I nodded, still deep in thought. "Thanks, Gip. I promise I'll do right by your friend."
"Cousin."
"Cousin?"
Gip nodded, "Felicia's my cousin."
"So that's how ya knew 'er!"
"Yep," she nodded, "that's how I knew 'er. Ya still better do right by Felicia or I'll see to it that ya won't be able to have kid of yer own."
"I promise, Gip! I would never dream of hurtin' your cousin... Ever!"
Gip smiled, "Great. Now go up there an' talk to 'er before ya lose the chance!"
I nodded, smiling as brightly as the sun, "I will, Gip. I'll be the kind of guy that ya'd want your cousin ta be with." I headed inside, unaware of the fact that someone else was already working their magic on her.
*~*~*~*
"Hey there! I'm Midnight!" Midnight said, a sly grin on his face as he walked into the girls' bunkroom. He walked over to the bunk opposite of Fire and sat down. "So, are you new here?" He ran his hand through his shiny black hair as he waited for her answer.
Fire looked up and nodded shyly, "Yeah, Gip told me about it. Oh, by the way, I'm Fire."
"Well, Fire, welcome to ya." He smiles warmly, pulling a small red carnation out from behind his back. "I would've gotten you a rose, but there wasn't one nearly good enough for you." He handed her the carnation, holding onto ‘er hand long after she had taken it and thanked him.
"Wow, umm, thank you, Midnight," she said softly, blushing. "I don't know what to say."
Midnight smirked, a wild spark running through his grey eyes. "Well, you can say that you'll go with me."
"Go where?"
"Ya know, *go* with me, be my goil."
Fire sighed, somewhat frightened to say 'no', "I don't know, Midnight, I just got here and we just met. Besides, there's this other boy I was talking to today and..."
"And what?" Midnight asked, interrupting her.
"And, well, he was really nice."
"Who was it?" He asked, growing jealous.
"Mush Meyers. Why? Do you know him?"
He nodded slowly, "Yeah, you don't wanna get mixed up wit' him."
"Is he bad or something?"
"Fire, sweetie, you have no idea. He just don't keep goils for long."
"So? What's wrong with that?"
"Well," he sighed, "he has his way with a goil' an' then he'll leave 'er."
Fire looked down sadly, "Oh. I see..."
"So will ya at least gimme a chance?"
"I'll think about it. I mean, I just got here today and I'm not so sure that I should be giving my heart away just yet."
Angry, Midnight stood up and walked towards the bunkroom door. "Find me when you've made up yer mind," he said loudly, almost yelling, as he walked out.
Fire sighed quietly, shaking her head, "Felicia Maria Williams, it's too early to get involved. Too early."
*~*~*~*
I walked into the bunkroom just as Midnight was walking out. Right away, I could feel all of the muscles in my body tense up. The look on his face told me everything I needed to know about what had happened in the bunkroom just seconds before. The wild look in his eyes told me that he felt he was close to succeeding while the sly grin on his face told me that he had said something that very well could've ruined my chances with Fire. Shrugging, I continued on into the bunkroom, "Felicia? Are ya in here?"
"Yes, Mush," she replied, quickly grabbing her pillow and hugging it tightly.
"Are ya okay?"
She nodded, "I'm fine. I just had a conversation with Midnight and, well, he said some things that I didn't exactly want to hear."
"Oh." I sighed, sitting down. "What did he say?" I reached my hand out to hers to see if that would make her feel better, but I quickly saw that I was wrong.
She backed away, shaking her head, "Please don't."
I withdrew my hand, confused. "Sorry. Will you at least tell me what he said?"
"You won't get angry, will you?" She looked up at me with a look of genuine fear in her eyes. At the time, I was clueless to the thoughts and feelings running through her, but they all became clear eventually.
"No." I shook my head slowly, trying to show her that I had no intention of getting mad... ever.
She took a deep breath, sighing, "Okay. Well, he, umm, well he told me that you were only being nice to me for one reason."
"And what's this 'reason' he gave ya?"
"He said that you only want to sleep with me and that you'll leave me right after you get that."
"That bastard," I muttered under my breath. I looked back up at her and shook my head. "I would never use you, Fire, never."
"Well then why would he say it?"
"Because he's a selfish bastard who would do anything to ruin my chances with you because he wants you."
"A selfish bastard, eh? Well what if I happened to like him?" She looked at me as though she hated me and stood up. I was seriously convinced that she did like him, but, like many other things, I wouldn't find out until later on that she was faking it.
I gulped, almost certain that I had messed things up for myself, "Look, Fire, I'm sorry, okay? I just don't have the highest opinion of yer beloved Midnight. Him an' me have had a few run-ins in the past involving goils an' I'm sick of it. I just didn't wanna lose you."
"Lose me? You never even had me!" She rolled her eyes, walking over to the bunkroom door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have someone to find." She walked out, leaving me with nothing but a bruised ego and a broken heart.
*~*~*~*
Fire quietly walked up to the roof and sat down next to Midnight, "Hi."
"Hi," Midnight replied, quickly glancing over at her. "What brings you up here?"
"Well, actually, you do."
"Me?"
"Yes, you," she nodded. "I was thinking about what you said, and I decided to give it a try."
Midnight looked up at her, a grin as wide as the Brooklyn Bridge on his face, "Really?"
"Yes, really." She sighed, not really wanting to do any of this.
"Great," Midnight smiled to himself, sliding his arm around her shoulder. He closed his eyes and leaned in close to her, kissing her.
Fire sighed, closing her eyes tightly. No, please stop. Leave me alone, I don't want to be with you!! She slowly pulled away, looking away from him.
"Something wrong?" he asked, pulling her back close to him.
"No," Fire shook her head, sliding out of his grip. "I, umm, I need to go talk to Gip." Without another word, she quickly walked back over to the edge of the roof and climbed down the fire escape.
*~*~*~*
"Gip, please help me," I said, walking into the lobby where Gip was reading.
Gip put her book down on her lap and looked up at me, "Why? What's wrong?"
"I think I messed things up wit' Fire."
"How'd you manage to do that?"
"I called Midnight a selfish bastard an' then she got angry and left to find 'im."
"Shit, this can't be good."
I shook my head, sighing hopelessly, "Not at all, she's gonna get hurt an' it's all my fault."
Gip nodded, a soft sigh escaping her lips, "I dunno what to tell ya, Mush, I really don't. I can see if I can find out anythin', but I doubt it'll get ya very far."
"I owe ya a million for this!" I laughed, shaking my head playfully.
"Hey, you gave me Specs, I could at least help ya get Fire." She stood up and stretched. "I'll go see if I can find her, okay?"
"Okay. Gip, I really dunno how to thank you for all this."
She shrugged, laughing, "Don't worry about it, Mush, don't worry about it." She laughed some more before disappearing up the stairs.
*~*~*~*
Fire filled up the sink with cold water, dipping her face in the full sink and quickly taking it back out, "I really needed that."
"Needed what?" Gip asked, leaning against the doorframe.
"To feel the cold water on my face."
"Why's that?"
She shook her head, "It's not important." I just needed to see if my lips still had feeling after being touched by Midnight. "What, umm, brings you here?"
"No reason, I just wanted to see how things were going so far for you."
"Things are going.... great," she answered hesitantly. She took a deep breath, she hated lying but she couldn't possibly tell Gip about what happened up on the roof.
Gip shook her head, tapping her foot on the floor, "Fire, I know you, an' I know when somethin's wrong. You can trust me, you should know that."
"I know, Gip, but it's just that I-"
Midnight strolled into the washroom, pushing Gip to the side as he made his way to Fire, "Fire, I need to see you."
"I'm sort of talking to Gip right now, can't it wait?"
He shook his head, glaring at her, "No, I need to see you... now."
Fire looked over at Gip, a helpless look on her face, "Okay, Midnight. Gip, can we continue this later?"
Gip shrugged, crossing her arms, "Whatever, Fire. What I had to say was sorta important."
"Don't listen ta her, Fire," Midnight whispered hoarsely, "she don't know what she's talkin' about."
"You bastard!" Gip shouted, trying her best not to lunge at him.
Midnight slid his arm around Fire's waist, chuckling menacingly, "Now, now, Gip, let Fire make her own decisions about me." Even though I'll be making her decisions from now on. He laughed at his own thought and pulled Fire out the door. "Let's go."
Fire looked over her shoulder at Gip and casually shrugged before Midnight completely pulled her out the door.
Midnight led her into the sick room, locking the door behind them. "Sit," he commanded, pushing on her shoulders until she sat down on the bed.
"Owww," she whispered under her breath, rubbing her shoulders.
He narrowed her eyes at her, thinking that she had said something else, "What was that?"
"Nothing," she answered, shaking her head.
"Tell me," he growled, leaning over her.
"I said 'owww'."
He looked her over suspiciously, "Why'd you said that."
She shrugged, "You hurt me."
"Hurt??" Girls... He put on his most convincing pout, trying to make her comfortable with him again. "I'm sorry, let me make it better." He leaned down, kissing her shoulders.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, nervously biting down on her lip.
He looked back up at her, feeling her tension, "Fire, baby, relax. Nothing bad is going to happen." That is, if you do as I say.
"I'm sorry," she said softly, looking down.
"Shhh," he whispered, pressing his finger against her lips. He kissed her softly, pressing himself up against her.
She pulled away, shaking her head, "Don't."
"Why not? Fire, I love you."
"I don't want to," she replied, looking down.
He growled, pushing her back onto the bed, "Why won't you believe me?" He slapped her across the face. "Ya know, I was trying to make this easy for the both of us, I really was! Too bad, I was really starting to like you." He pushed her back down onto the bed when she tried to sit up, sliding his hand up the side of her body. He cackled triumphantly. "You know, ya should've stayed with Mush, but looks like you made a mistake."
"Leave me alone," she shouted at the top of her lungs, hoping someone would hear her.
"Tsk tsk." He shook his head, rolling his eyes at her. "No one's going to hear you... no one."
Fire squirmed, trying to wriggle out from beneath his strong body, "I said get off of me."
He pinned her shoulders down, looking down at her and laughing evilly, "You know, girl, you're gonna regret that you ever put up a fight with me." He let go of one of her shoulders and used that hand to rip her shirt open, the buttons falling off the front. Grunting, he forcefully pressed his lips against hers while she passed out in fear, her body falling back onto the bed.
When Fire came to, she looked around the room, trying to get a feel for her surroundings. She took a deep breath and felt a strong hand on her bare chest. Looking over, she saw Midnight, also naked, laying next to her. As quietly as she could, she sat up and reached over for her clothes, slipping them on as fast as she could. She stood up and walked to the door, wincing in pain the whole time. "Oww, I don't think I've ever hurt this much before in my life," she sobbed, fumbling with the lock on the door.
*~*~*~*
I just so happened to be walking down the hallway by the sick room when Fire made he way into the hallway, holding her shirt shut with one hand while she dried her eyes with the other. "Fire, are you okay?" I asked, watching her curl up into a little ball on the side of the hallway.
"No," she shook her head, sobbing loudly, "I'm not okay. Please, get Gip for me."
"Is there anythin' I can do?"
"Yes, please go get Gip, I need her."
"Okay," I nodded. "Do you want to wait here or come with me?"
She looked around the room, a weary look on her face, "I-I think I'll come with you, there's no telling when he'll wake up."
I pointed to the door next to her, "Is he still in there?"
"Yes, he is. He's sleeping..."
"Well, I'll fix this." I grabbed a nearby chair and wedged it under the doorknob. "All better, see?"
She smiled slightly, but I could tell that she was still obviously very frightened, "Yeah, but we better go to Gip now."
"She's down this way," I replied, walking with her down the hallway towards the stairs to go down to the lobby.
She looked up at me, her face even paler than it had been a moment before, "Mush, I don't want to go down there."
"Why not? He's locked up in the sick room."
"What if someone sees me?" She looked down, holding her shirt tighter against herself.
I thought for a moment, before getting an idea. "Well, how about you wait right here on this step an' I'll run down there real quick an' get her, okay?"
Without a word, she sat down on the stairs and curled up, bringing her knees to her chest. "Please, be fast."
"I will, I'll be back before you know it." I flashed her a reassuring smile before running down the stairs to get Gip.
Gip looked up at me when she heard me come down the stairs, curious as to why I had such a panicked look on my face. "Mush, are you okay?"
I couldn't speak, all I could do was shake my head.
"What? What's wrong?"
"It... It's Fire," I managed to say, stammering all the while.
A panicked look also came over her face as the crude realization began to hit her, "What happened? What did her do to her?"
"I dunno," I replied, shrugging, "all I know is what I saw."
"Well what didja see?"
"She was sittin' on the floor an' cryin'. Her clothes were ripped up real bad an' she told me to get you.""
"That bastard," she muttered, knowing exactly what must've gone on. "Where is she?"
I pointed up to the top of the stairs, "She's up there. She told me to be real quick, so you gotta come with me."
"Okay." She nodded and followed me up the stairs to Fire. Upon reaching Fire, a look of total anguish swept across her face like a fierce, unavoidable storm. "Fire? What did he do to you?"
Fire looked up at Gip and wiped her eyes for what seemed like the thousandth time that night, "He hurt me Gip." She crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself. "I should've listened to you... I should've listened to you, but I didn't!" She broke out into another series of heavy sobs, burying her face in Gip's sleeve.
"Shhh, you didn't know," Gip said softly, trying to calm down her cousin. She sighed heavily, not knowing what to do. "Fire, I'll take care of this, I promise."
"You will?"
"Yes, I will." She looked around the hallway, spotting the door with the chair wedged under the knob. "So, he's in there?"
"Yes," Fire replied, nodding, "Mush did that for me so I didn't have to worry about him coming after me."
"Okay," Gip said, standing up. She walked over to the door and kicked the chair out of the way. "I'll take care of this." She took her pocketknife out of her sock and disappeared into the sick room.
*~*~*~*
Midnight still lay on the bed, fast asleep, when Gip walked into the room. When he rolled over and stretched, she took it as the opportunity to act. Silently, she walked over to the bed and sat across his legs, uncovering the pocketknife. "Now," she said loudly, "which do I remove first... the sausage or the eggs?"
Immediately, Midnight sat up, screaming, "What the hell are you doing here? Where's Fire?"
"She's gone, just like your manhood's about to be!" She cackled, pulling away the blanket.
"Get away from me, bitch," he shouted, trying to kick his legs. "Get away!"
She held the knife closer to his groin and smirked, "Are you really sure you should be kicking your legs like that?"
"You wouldn't dare, Gip, I know you wouldn't. Why do you care that I did to her what I did, she was practically asking for it!"
"She was not! She was scared shit less and you took advantage of that, you rat bastard!" She slid the knife a little closer, running its flat side against his skin. "Now, now, Midnight, just relax and you might get out of here with your bits and pieces in tact."
He rolled his eyes, laying back on the bed, "What are you gonna do, give me a blow job until I pass out or something?"
She stifled a laugh, "Do you honestly think I'd go anywhere near you with my mouth? I don't think so! My plans for you are somewhat bigger."
"Bigger?"
"Yes, bigger. Now just lay back and let me do all the work." She waited until he was lying back on the bed before throwing the first punch.
He winced in pain, grabbing his nose, "What the hell was that for?"
Without a word, she punched him with rapid succession until he was finally knocked out and she remained seated on his legs without a mark on her. Standing up, she took her knife and folded it back up and put it back in its hiding place in her shoe. She looked one last look at him, shook her head, and walked out.
*~*~*~*
While Gip was taking care of Midnight, I took Fire into the girls' bunkroom and sat her down on her bunk. I sat down on the bunk across from her and waited.
Fire looked up at me, her brown eyes now completely empty and hollow, "Do you think that Gip will make him pay for it?"
"Yes," I replied, nodding reassuringly. "I don't think you'll have to worry about him bothering you anymore."
"Oh, but I do," she sobbed, burying her face in her hands. "He said that I was his and that I have to do what he says and that there's nothing that can be done to change that. This is all my fault that this happened!" Her sobs grew louder and she began coughing.
I watched her and sighed helplessly, not knowing what to do, "Fire, it's not your fault, you didn't know he was going to hurt you."
"But he locked the door! I should've known right then, or when he kissed me. None of this would've happened if I wasn't so stubborn and scared!"
Now, I was completely puzzled. Before this, I had no clue what she meant by "stubborn and scared" so I shook my head, still determined to help her in any way I could. "What do you mean?"
She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes, "See, I only went with him because of the things he said about you. That honestly scared me and I was too stubborn after he kissed me the first time to realize that I was wrong and he was lying until he was ripping my clothes off and taking what ever dignity remained within me. I can't deal with this again, Mush, I just can't!"
"Felicia, I mean Fire, I'll to the best I can to help you," I said, gently placing my hand on hers.
"You will?" She looked up at me, her eyes red and bloodshot.
I nodded, searching her eyes for a small glimmer of hope, "I promise."
That's how it all started. From that point on, we were a team. Mush and Fire, Fire and Mush, that's how it would always be, or so we thought. Everyday, we took everything one step at a time, I wanted nothing more than for her to be able to feel comfortable with me.
*~*~*~*
I'll remember that first kiss like it was just yesterday. It took four months for it to happen, but it was four months well worth it. That day, we were supposed to meet in Central Park for lunch, she said she had something important to tell me. Not thinking much of it since that's what we usually did, I headed off to the park, prepared to give her another uplifting pep talk.
When I arrived at our usual spot under a big weeping willow tree, she was already there, sitting on what appeared to be her blanket from her bunk. When she saw me, she stood up, smiling. "Mush, I'm so glad you're here, sit!" She motioned to the spot right next to her, her eyes shining with excitement.
I sat down and turned to her, still completely clueless, "Well, Fire, you seem very happy today."
"Oh, that's because I am," she replied, a bright smile on her face. I'll never forget that smile. That smile had to have been one of the most beautiful smiles I have ever seen.
"What about?"
"Well, I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, and I realized something that I should've known all along." She slowly began to blush, tucking a red curl back behind her ear.
I laughed softly, eager to know what she had to say, "If you don't mind telling me, what is it that you realizes?"
"Umm, you see," she started, blushing even more, "I finally figured out how I feel about you. Mush, you're my best friend next to Gip, and I just feel that I need to let you know."
"Okay," I smiled, "thanks for letting me know."
She shook her head quickly, "No, let me finish!"
I laughed, holding my hands up, "Okay, sorry, Fi!"
She smiled, taking my hands, "That's better." Gazing into my eyes, she leaned in and kissed me softly.
Even though I was a little shocked at first, I kissed her back, but let her end it when she wanted to.
When she finally pulled away and smiled up at me, I could tell that I was blushing
uncontrollably.
"I just want to thank you for being patient with me, for helping me, for treating me
like no other man has before in my life."
I could feel myself blush instantly. Looking down, I grinned sheepishly, which I don’t remember doing at any time in my life before then, "Aww, it was nothin’, Fire. You’re my friend, I want the best for ya."
At that moment, she looked up into my eyes. From my point of view, it looked like she had something to say, but was either too embarrassed or ashamed to say it herself, "Got somethin’ on your mind?"
She sighed, shrugging slightly, "No, I was just thinking about something?"
"What were ya thinkin’ about?"
"Do you honestly want to know?" She wrung her hands nervously. Unbeknownst to me, she was about to say the most difficult thing of her life.
I nodded, taking her hands reassuringly, "Fire, I just want ya to know that you can tell me anythin’ ya want. I’m here for ya no matter what."
She took a quick breath and examined the expression on my face, a soft smile forming with her lips, "I love you."
"You… You do?"
"Mush, how could I not? You saw me at my worst and you helped me. You’ve been here for me every step of the way and I love you for that. I owe you everything."
"Naw," I said, blushing, "ya don’t owe me a thing."
She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. At that moment I knew that she was the only girl I wanted to spend my life with. She had me wrapped around her finger. I’d do anything she wanted me to because of how deeply I felt for her. She was mine and I was hers, things were just like that from that point on. No one, not even Midnight, could ruin it for us, we were happy and in love.
*~*~*~*
Midnight stormed through the bunkroom, tossing chairs and trunks left and right on his way over to me, "You bastard! How dare you do that to Fire?"
I sat up in my bunk, confused, "What are you talking about?"
"Don’t act like I didn’t see! I saw you! I saw everythin’! You took advantage of her out there in the park today!"
"Midnight, I didn’t so such a thing," I explained, sighing heavily. "She was the one that kissed me. She loves me. She loves me an’ I love her!"
He lunged at me, grabbing at my throat, "She doesn’t fuckin’ love you! She’s mine, Mush, mine! Stay away from her before ya regret it."
"If she don’t love me, why did she say she loves me?"
"Because she lied! Goils lie, Mush, you should know that. "
I rolled my eyes, pushing him off of me, "Midnight, you’re just pissed because you lost. Yeah, dat’s right, you lost!"
"Believe that is you wanna," he scoffed, letting go of me. He backed up, glaring menacingly at me. "You’ll pay for this, Mush, mark my woids." With that, he walked out of the room, kicking the wall on his way out.
Little did I know that he was right, but it would be until almost six month later that he would prove it.
*~*~*~*
"Mush, come on, it’s a great night out!" Fire laughed, grabbing onto my arm.
I laughed, following her up onto the roof, "What’s up on the roof?"
She leaned into me, kissing me softly on the lips, "I want to show you something."
"Oh, okay," I chuckled, helping her up the last part of the fire escape up onto the roof. When we reached the roof, I was surprised to find it completely empty since it was usually full of newsies at this time of night. "Fire, it’s empty up here."
"I know," she laughed, hugging me, "that’s the whole point."
"What do you mean?"
She pushed me down onto the couch that Dutchy, Specs, and I carried up there a few months back, "There’s something that I want you, only you, to see."
"Oh, okay." I sat there and looked up at her. My eyes soon widened as I watched her start to unbutton the top buttons of her shirt. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yes," she replied, nodding. She finished up the buttons on her shirt and sat down next to me. "I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and I think I know what I’m doing. I meant it when I said I loved you, and you’ve proved to me many times that you loved me, even if you didn’t say it. Please, don’t question this."
"But, Fire…"
"Shhh," she pressed her fingers up against my lips. "Mush, the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. You’ve taught me this and now it’s my turn to teach you."
*~*~*~*
I'll always remember that night until the day I die. We stayed up there all night, just me, her, and the stars above us in the night sky. Up until then, I never knew exactly how much love could be expressed between two people when they had nothing but each other. Shortly before sunrise, I woke up and realized that she was no longer in my arms. I sat up and wiped my eyes, looking around the roof for her, "Fire, sweetie, where are you?"
She was sitting by the edge of the roof, staring out towards the horizon, "Come watch the sunrise with me."
"Okay," I replied, getting up and pulling on my clothes as I walked over to her.
"Mush, I, umm, want to thank you for last night." She sighed softly, resting her head on my shoulder.
I smiled to myself and slid my arm around her shoulder, "I think I should be the one thankin' you."
She looked up at me, blushing, "Really?"
"Yeah, I never wanted it to end."
"Well, like most things, that couldn't last forever," she commented, winking, "but it can always be done over."
I laughed, leaning over and kissing her temple softly, "I know, Fire, I know. You know, we should probably go inside before they realize that we were out here all night."
"I don't want to go in," she said wistfully, shaking her head slowly.
"Well what could we do?"
"We could say that we went inside after everyone else did and woke up early to watch the sunrise. No one would know."
No one except for Midnight, he probably stayed up all night.... I thought to myself as I held her close. "You're right, let's stay up here as long as possible.
*~*~*~*
As I suspected, Midnight had stayed up all night to wait for Fire to come in. If I had known his intentions ahead of time, I wouldn't have let her leave my side at all that day. However, I didn't know, and now I regret it more than anything.
Fire had just finished selling her papers and decided to go to the docks to watch the boats in the harbor before she was supposed to meet me for lunch. What she didn't know was that her obsessed stalker, Midnight, was there waiting. "Hey there, cutie," he said, grinning wickedly up at her.
Fire looked down at him, frozen in fear, "Why do you keep following me? Leave me alone, Midnight."
He stood up and began to slowly approach her, holding his arms out for her, "We need to talk."
"About what? There's nothing to talk about," she replied quietly, too afraid to move.
"Oh, but there is," he nodded. He grabbed onto her arms and began to shake her violently. "I saw you two last night, you dirty slut! What the hell was dat you pulled last night? I told you that you were mine, that didn't mean ya could go around fuckin' any guy you want!"
"Let me go," she pleaded, tears running down her eyes.
"No! Not until you promise that you'll never do that again!" He held onto her tighter.
"What if I don't promise?"
He lifted her up and held her out over the deep, cold water, "Well, I drop you in."
"But... But I can't swim!"
"I know," he whispered roughly in her ear, "that's the point."
She began to cry harder, knowing that there was no way she could win, "I... I can't promise you that, Midnight."
He growled angrily, squeezing her arms for all that he was worth, "Ya have one more chance to take dat back."
"I'm not taking it back! I don't love you. I love Mush! I can't make a promise to you that I don't ever intend to keep!"
"Fine, your choice, bitch." He turned her around and kissed her roughly before pushing her off the dock and into the water below.
*~*~*~*
I first noticed that things were a little off when Fire didn't show up to have lunch with me. I figured that maybe she was having trouble selling her papers or that she was off with Gip talking about something, but I was wrong.
Gip pushed open the door to Tibby's and ran back to my table, her face as white as a ghost, "Mush, something's, well, something's happened."
"What are you talking about," I asked, confused. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."
"In a way, I did," she replied, her voice shaky.
"What do you mean 'in a way'?"
She took a deep breath, I guess she had to find the right way to break the news to me, "It's Fire, she was pushed into the river a little while ago."
My eyes widened in shock, "But she can't swim? Is she okay?"
Gip looked at me and started to cry as she shook her head, "I'm sorry Mush, but she didn't make it. Apparently Midnight knew what he was doing when he pushed her off into the deep water."
"How do you know Midnight did it?" There wasn't a doubt in my mind that he did it, either, but I didn't want to go beating him up for no reason.
"Kloppman saw him run in, looking all nervous. He ran up into the bunkroom, got his things, and left."
"He's... gone?"
She nodded, "I guess he knew there would be hell to pay."
"Well, can I at least see Fire again?" I looked down, tears rolling down my face. It just didn't seem possible to me. The night before, everything was so perfect, but it quickly changed into the worst day of my life.
"I don't know, Mush. Maybe Kloppman'll let you see her, but he still has to make arrangements an' such."
I nodded slowly, standing up, "Well, I'm gonna go find out. I need to say goodbye."
Quickly paying for my lunch, I ran as fast as I could to the lodging house. I wanted to make sure that I could catch Kloppman and ask him before he went off to the hospital by himself.
Luckily for me, Kloppman was just walking out of the lodging house when I asked him if I could go with him. Also luckily for me, he told me I could and we were off to see Fire.
*~*~*~*
The hospital morgue was cold and void of all color and life, that's one thing I couldn't forget if I tried. The doctor led us to the far corner where Fire's wet body lay. "She's right here," he said solemnly, removing the sheet from on top of her.
I watched with wide eyes as I saw the once vibrant, lively girl was now a cold, blue shell of her former self. "Oh, sweetie," I said, sobbing, as I took her hand. "I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. If only I stayed with you... If only..."
"There's nothing you coulda done," Kloppman said quietly to me, squeezing my shoulder.
"But I feel so guilty! I loved her, Kloppman, I really did!"
"I know you did, Mush. I also know that she loved you, she always will."
The doctor glanced down at his watch and picked the sheet back up, "Time's up. It's time to leave."
"No, wait," I pleaded, shaking my head. "Would it be wrong if I kissed her?"
The doctor shrugged, "I have no problem with it, but make it quick, I don't want you to get in trouble."
I nodded, "Thank you so much, sir." I leaned down close to Fire's face, wiping my eyes. "I love you, Felicia." I kissed her forehead softly and then the doctor covered her back up with the sheet. "Come on, we have to make funeral arrangements."
*~*~*~*
The funeral was held two days later. When I think about it, it was too beautiful of a day to have a funeral, but it's how she would've wanted it. I stood silently through the whole thing, but I lost all control of my feelings when they began to lower her casket into the cold, hard ground. "No, don't leave me! I can't live without you, please!"
Gip grabbed onto my arm before I could thrust myself into the hole with Fire, "Mush, come on, you can't do this... not today."
"I... I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," I apologized, hugging her. "I'm just going to miss her so much!
"I know," she said, wiping her eyes, "we all are."
After a while, everyone began to leave but I stayed. I stayed all day and part way into the night, at least until the caretaker told me I had to go home. Overcome by my sadness, I kissed the single red rose in my hand and placed it on top of her grave, "We'll be together soon, I promise."
*~*~*~*
Epilogue
Specs walked into the bunkroom and approached Mush's bunk, "Come on, Mush, it's time to get up." When he saw that Mush wasn't moving, he reached down and shook his shoulder. "Mush?"
Mush still didn't move, but his arm fell down from under the blanket, his wrist stained with blood.
"No, Mush, no! Tell me you didn't do this," Specs shouted. "Somebody help me!"
Bumlets ran in, alarmed, "What's wrong, Specs?"
Specs sighed sadly and picked up Mush's wrist, "He did it, he killed himself."
"But why?"
"You saw how sad he was for the past year, I guess he just couldn't take the pain anymore." Specs reached underneath Mush's pillow and found a small stack of papers.
He skimmed through them and handed them to Bumlets. "We'll want to give them to Kloppman."
Bumlets took them, a confused look on his face, "Why, Specs?"
"It's something Mush wrote about him an' Fire, Kloppman just might want to see them."
"Oh," Bumlets said, looking down at the paper. "The greatest thing you'll ever learn..."
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