| "Okay, hurry up get into costume," Quipster commanded. "You all have ten minutes to be ready for the talent portion. The girls rushed around the room hurrying to fix their hair and fix their clothes. "HEY!" Act yelled. "I can’t find me clothes!" "Me neithah!" Spin called out, searching her pile of things. Tunes threw some of her things around before declaring, "My are gone too!" Quipster sighed exasperatedly. "Dis bettah not be Spot’s doin’," she muttered to herself. "How ‘bout you goils?" she questioned the other contestants. "I’m not changin’ so it wouldn’t mattah," Hart informed her. "Yep, I’m jest stayin’ in dese clothes," Delaney agreed. "You goils, too?" Quipster queried, directing her question at Tapper, Princess and Pisky. All three explained that they weren’t changing so they had no clothes to be stolen. Quipster groaned. "Gawd damnit now what?" she asked the three girls that were missing their costumes. "I can’t do it in dis dress!" Spin complained. "Da stuff I’m doin’ wont work if I’m wearin’ dis dress!" "Me neithah," Act agreed. Quipster thought for a moment. "Hang on den," she commanded. "Get everythin’ else ready like...I dunno...whatevah you do ta get ready!" She hurried out of the room. Everyone began to get ready. Act and Spin looked extremely worried and angry but they also went about getting ready for the contest. Tunes didn’t look worried in the slightest, however, and in fact had a smug expression as she went about doing her makeup and fixing her hair. Quipster returned moments later with her arms full of boys clothing. "There!" she exclaimed dropping it all on the floor. There were dozens of pairs of pants and shirts and hats...everything a boy would need to dress. "What didja go an’ do now, Quip?" Tunes inquired. Quipster shrugged. "Da boys won’t notice..." "You stole der clothes?" Act asked, incredulous. Quipster smirked. "Stole is such a harsh world...borrowed wid out askin’ is moah what we’re doin’...’sides da boys’ll figuah it out when you go out wearin’ der clothes. I don’t know what you were plannin’ foh an’ outfit but you three are gunna hafta make do wid all dis." Spin and Act shrugged and started digging through the boys clothes for a costume. Tunes didn’t even look down and continued touching up her make up. "Tunes...ya know you gotta go down der in like five mintues an’ do youh routine. I’d suggest findin’ some clothes ‘less youh plannin’ on goin’ down der naked," Princess told her, noticing her lack of a costume. Tunes shrugged with an amused expression and began pulling off her clothes. "She was jokin’..." Tapper told her, looking at her oddly. "I’m not goin’ out naked," Tunes assured her, still pulling off her clothes. "What’re you doin’ den?" Princess inquired. "Wearin’ dis," Tunes told her when she had at last stripped down to the slinky slip under her dress. Quipster rolled her eyes. "Do I hafta say it?" The other girls laughed. "I’ll say it!" Tapper offered. She pointed at Tunes. "WHORE!" "Nice dat you goils are catchin’ on..." Quipster commented. "Seriously, Tunes, what’re you really gunna wear?" "I’m already wearin’ it...I doubt dat I’ll have any complaints..." Tunes decided. Quipster sighed. "All right…I guess I can’t stop ya…" "Fine, den, I’m jest goin’ out naked," Spin decided, not to be outdone. "EW! Youh brothah is out der," Delaney pointed out. "But…but I wanna wear somethin’ revealing!" Spin complained. "What if ya jest wore somethin’ somewhat whorish?" Quipster suggested. "If ya unbuttoned dat shirt farthah down an’ cut if up an’ you can wear shorts…" Spin nodded and began ripping at the light blue shirt until it was ‘revealing’ enough for her. "Okay, everyone sufficiently whorish now?" Quipster questioned dryly. The girls all nodded, excited to get down and show off their ‘skills’. "All right, c’mon goils," Quipster demanded, leading them all down the stairs. The girls followed behind closely, all hoping to be the first. The crowd was needless to say mostly shocked by Tunes outfit, yet again. Then, after their inital shock subsided they were once again surprised by Spin’s torn at top. "Sit," Quipster ordered, pointing to the chairs that were reserved for the contestant. "I’ll go get da boys." She held true to her word and returned only moments later with Skittery, Specs and Itey who she was glaring quite obviously at. Evidently Quipster had not gotten over being excluded because of her sex. The boys sat at their table again, with pencils and paper in hand. "Go head, Quip," Itey allowed, once they were situated. "Of cohse youh majesty," Quipster agreed, the sarcasm heavy in her voice. Itey rolled his eyes but didn’t reply. He was used to Quipster’s moods by now and knew it was best to let them pass without arguing with her. Quipster shrugged when he didn’t respond. "Okay, Tunes how ‘bout you come up an’ tell us what you’he gunna be doin’ an’ why youh dressed even worse den a common street whore would dress…" Tunes glared at Quipster slightly before walking to the middle of the stage. "Well, I am dressed…da way I am…’cause I’se was missin’ me costume so I figuahed insteada wearin’ da clothes Quip stole from da guy I’d jest wear somethin’ a me own…" A chorus of "HEY OUR CLOTHES!" let out from the crowd. Quipster grinned at the crowd. "Well dey needed somethin’ ta wear! Dey couldn’t come out wid nothin’ on!" "Why not?" came a male voice from the crowd. "Because, Swifty, one of dem was Spot’s sistah an’ dat’s jest wrong an’ plus stop bein’ dirty!" Quipster commanded. "Eww bad pictures in me head!" Spot called out, at the mental picture of his sister being naked. "See, look what you did Swifty. It’s not like you aren’t all gunna get youh clothes back…’cept foh whoevah owns dat blue shoit dat Spin is wearin’…" "Hey! Dat’s mine!" Snipeshooter complained. "Tough shit, kid. Can we continue the contest now?" Quipster questioned, somewhat upset. Snipshooter, Swifty and Spot sat down grumbling to themselves over their issues. "As I was sayin’," Tunes continued. "I decided ta wear me own clothes an’ didn’t think anyone would complain ‘cept Quipstah…" "Hey, Tappah is da one dat called ya a whore…" Quipster reminded her. "Damn straight!" Tapper put in. Tunes smirked to herself a little, not really caring what any of them thought of her. "So, foh me talent I have made me own little song ta sing an’ dance to. Quip, da record please?" Quipster nodded and turned on the record player. (Note before we get started now: All the talents were given to me. So, if people look very strange or whorish for 1899 it’s their own choice. While I’m giving notes, this song was written by Tunes and given to me as was the routine she put into it. The song goes to the tune of KONY) Tunes cleared her throat and smiled before beginning. She walked over and sat on Skittery’s lap, surprising everyone all the more, before starting to sing. "Pink underpants are what you’re wearin’." She unbuttoned a couple buttons and she sang. "When you’re takin’ ‘em off can’t help but starin’," she continued, hopping off his lap. "Goin’ at it in bed I never fake it." She walked on stage and did a cartwheel. "On top of all that you look good naked! Look at me…dancin’ and singin’ for you!" Tunes broke off in her song to complete a back tuck. "Look at that, just did a back tuck," she resumed walking down the table. "And I’m a great fuck," she added, smirking at Itey who was nodding vigorously. "Sleepin’ with all the rest of my friends, go out with me that don’t have to end. Can you believe?" she questioned in song, throwing her leg of Specs and straddling him. "I’ve done your friends too!" she confessed, kissing Specs on the cheek, causing him to smile smugly and blush slightly. Tunes ran back onto the stage. "They’re not quite like you. You’re the one that I want!" She announced before doing a back handspring into the splits and blew a kiss in the direction of Skittery. The room began clapping enthusiastically, perhaps Specs and Itey loudest of all remembering their good times with her. Tunes stood up and took a bow. Quipster came onto stage clapping politely. "Congratulations you jest came off as a complete whore," Quipster told her laughing. Tunes smirked confidently. "Maybe, but I think dat did da trick," she told her, cocking her head to the side to point out Skittery, Specs and Itey who seemed to be responding very positively to her performance. "The things goils do foh a good fuck," Quipster said, shaking her head. "You can go sit down wheah you were befoah…" Tunes nodded and walked to her seat, quite aware of everyone staring at her. Quipster shook her head in disbelief before calling up the next contestant. "Soo…next goil is…Pisky!" Pisky walked onto the stage looking slightly bewildered because of Tunes’ ‘show’. "So, what’re you gunna do foh us, Pisky?" Quipster inquired. "Well, when I was youngah I could stick my entiah fist in me mouth an’ evah since den I’se been tryin’ ta stick biggah, bettah, tastiah things in me mouth…" she announced, smirking at Skittery as she finished. "So…I’se decided dat…right heah…in fronta da ENTIAH crowd I’m gunna suck on…" she paused slightly for effect before finishing, "thirty five grapes. That’s right I’m gunna fit thoity five grapes in me mouth." Quipster burst out laughing. "Grapes…yeah I’m shoah dat’s what you wanna be suckin’ on…" Pisky giggled. "Well, I’ll take da grapes an’ hope foh bettah things aftah da contest," she confided. Quipster shook her head once again, astounded at the lengths the girls would go to for Skittery. "On dat incredibly slutty note let’s bring out da grapes!" Swifty came skipping onto the stage with a bowl full of grapes. Pisky gave a brave smile before attempting to conquer the bowl of grapes. She began to push grape after grape into her mouth leaving the crowd to keep count for her. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the smartest thing to do because she ended up shoving in 42 grapes before she realized that the newsies masses were not exactly geniuses when it came to large numbers…that or they wanted to see how many they could trick her into shoving in. Taking pity on Pisky, (who was turning a little greenish at the thought of forcing one more grape in her mouth) Quipster finally rolled her eyes and said, "Uhh Pisky youh pushin’ 45 now…ya might wanna stop…" Pisky nodded emphatically before getting a panicked look and running for the bathroom. Quipster looked slightly disgusted before continuing her commentary. "Well, since we don’t really wanna even think bout what Pisky just ran off ta do, I’ll jest call da next contestant up right away…Lemme see…it’s…Princess!" Princess walked up on stage looking slightly uncomfortable. "Soo…Princess dose were some tough acts ta follow…what do you got foh us?" Quipster asked. Princess shrugged. "Well, actually I nevah really thought ‘bout it ‘til now…uhh I guess I could…nah…well or I could…nah don’t wanna do dat eithah…" Princess continued her pensive monologue a few more moments before shrugging. "Eh what da hell I’ll do somethin’ diffahent an’ not be a whore!" Quipster almost fell over. "That is definitley somethin’ new in dis contest. So whatcha gunna do?" "I will…recite all fifty states…even doh der aren’t fifty states yet…I will recite all fifty ‘cause I’m psychic…an’ I’ll do it in one breath!" "Wow…psychic an’ good wid trivial facts an’ breath control," Quipster commented. "Good…I’m so tired a it bein’ da mans job!" Skittery declared. Quipster threw him a disgusted look. "I said breath control not birth control! Damnit Skittery how da hell didja manage ta get so many goils ta like ya?!" Skittery blushed a little. "Jest get on wid da contest…" "Gladly…soo go foh it Princess…" Quipster encouraged. Princess took a deep breath and began listing states. (Yeah…not gunna list them all…pretend I did…) When she was done she looked very proud of herself…though a little bluish. Needless to say she took a deep breath after completing the task. Quipster nodded in approval before pointing Princess back toward her chair. "So, now time foh da next contestant I guess…any volunteers?" Not pausing for an answer, Quipster continued, "Oh, okay den Tappah can be next!" Tapper looked at Quipster strangely before shrugging and walking onstage. "So, whatcha got planned foh us?" "Well…since me name is Tappah I figuahed I’d tap dance. Cept I wanted ta put an interestin’ spin on it soo I’se gunna do a little tap strip tease…" Quipster rolled her eyes. "Shoah why not…" she commented walking off, shaking her head disbelievingly. Tapper did a little dance in which she gradually took all her clothes off but before becoming completely naked stopped and took a bow. Many complaints errupted from the crowd. "Hey, what da hell!" "Don’t stop now!!" "We’se jest gettin’ ta da good stuff" Tapper rolled her eyes and picked up all her clothes, walking to the bathroom to reassemble her ensemble. Quipster walked back on stage to quiet the masses tactfully. "Hey, shut da hell up all of you’se or we’ll finish da contest in private, all right?!" There was much grumbling heard after that but in general the group became subdued and the contest was allowed to continue. Quipster grinned in triumph. "Yes, that’s what I thought! Let me see…who shall be next? I think that….Hart should be next!" Hart walked up on the stage looking very confident. "I sweah if you dance or hit on Skittery at any point in this talent I might jest go crazy," Quipster muttered to her. "Well, den relax. My talent is…impression! I’se love makin’ fun a people…" Hart informed her. "Now dat is somethin’ I can deal wid! Impress on…well you know what I mean…yeah…jest do youh talent…" Hart looked around the room, searching for her next victim. Suddenly seeing someone in the crowd she grinned. "All right, who am I?" she asked. Then, she said to an imaginary girl on stage, "Hey baby, how ‘bout I take you places you’ve nevah seen befoah? I’m da big bad leadah dat sneaks inta goils dressin’ rooms." Then she pretended to be slapped in the face by the imaginary girl. "Fine, guess youh inta goils den!" Quipster burst out laughed. She pointed at Hart and stated, "SPOT!" Spot stood up angrily. "Dat ain’t how I act!" Hart rose her eyebrows but didn’t say anything else to him. "I’ll show you!" Spot threatened, walking toward the stage. "HEY! Could the audience members REMAIN IN THE AUDIENCE!?" Quipster yelled at him. Spot paused before turning around and stomping back to his seat muttering about how Hart was just jealous of him. Hart laughed and started getting ready for her next impression before she could Quipster said, "Umm…that might be enough though…we don't want to alienate our entire audience…" Hart returned to her seat looking somewhat disappointed. Spot glared at her from his seat and pointed at her, mouthing "I’ll get you!" Hart laughed and shook her head, returning her attentions to the stage. "Hmm…who shall we get to go next? Let me think…well we could go da whole nine yards in annoyin’ Conlan and bring up his sistah? Ah, good plan Quipstah…" "Uhh…Quip…didja jest talk ta youhself?" Itey asked. "Silence you mean, horrible, person dat leaves people out jest cause a dey’re sex," Quipster snapped at Itey. "But…" Itey started. "No, shh, who’s runnin’ dis pageant?!" Quipster asked "Well, you are I guess…" Itey responded. "Yeah, dat’s what I thought. Wait…hmm…I am runnin’ da show aren’t I?" Quipster got a mischievous look on her face and grinned evilly. "Go head Spin an’ do youh talent…" Quipster walked off the stage to think through the plan developing in her head as Spin walked up. "I am gunna do a tumblin’ act ," Spin told everyone. She launched into a flawless act, which included no falls whatsoever. (Sorry, can’t go much into detail since I’d have no fucking clue what I was talking about) She ended with a grand finale which was: Roundoff, backhand spring, backtuck step-out, layout step out, round off step out, full twisting layout into a middle split. Everyone clapped enthusiastically for her, except for Spot who was busy glaring at Hart and thinking up plots to obtain vengeance. Not that he would have clapped for her anyway since he more or less hated Spin, but that is beside the point. Quipster, not noticing that Spin had finished and was sitting, continued to sit on a chair beside the stage deep in thought. After a few moments of muttering to herself she cackled evilly. "I’ll show them!" she said. "Hey, Quip," Tunes said, "Huh?" Quipster asked, not really paying attention, "Umm…foist of all…we can heah you…an’ second Spin’s sittin’. Can we get dis done wid?" "Oh…yes…get this done with you say? I’ll get dis done, all right! The contest is…OVER!" Quipster broke into a loud, evil laugh. Everyone just sat there, looking at her oddly. "Hey, didn'tcha heah me? GET OUT!" Quipster yelled at everyone. "Hey…Quipstah, hate ta tell ya but 1) You can’t jest call off da contest an’ 2) Why da hell wouldja want ta der’s only one moah act!" "Well, too fuckin’ bad! It’s off because YOU wouldn’t let me judge an…an…an’ EVERYONE’S MEAN TO ME!" Quipster burst out crying. "Oh, well, doesn’t mattah if it’s ovah anyway, I already made me choice…" "WHAT?!" Delaney asked, standing up. "That’s NO fair! I made a fuckin’ talent an’ YOUH gunna watch it!" "Hey, Delaney," Specs interjected. "Ya lost da minute ya didn’t act like a whore and say you wanted ta sleep wid him." "No…but my act might help!!" Delaney persisted. "No…but it won't," Specs assured her. Delaney continued arguing with Specs over if she could preform. Spot, seeing people’s attentions were attracted by Delaney, took the moment to strike. He launched himself at Hart and began pulling her hair and trying to beat her up. Hart screamed in surprise before fighting back. Snipeshooter, still miffed about Spin stealing his shirt, ran at her screaming "DATS MY SHIRT!!" Racetrack ran to defend Spin yelling, "You lousy cigar stealah get back heah!" Quipster laughed evilly in the corner watching as chaos exploded. "Dis’ll show dem!" Skittery sat and watched everything going on before calmly walking over to where the contestants were. Well, I guess it don’t mattah now but Tunes youh da winnah…" "I am?" Tunes asked. She had been expecting him to pick someone else and then she cheat on that girl with her. "Yeah…a course it ain’t so great winnin’ like dis," Skittery said, pointing at the large fight going on in the room that almost everyone was included in by now. "Well, whaddya say we get outta heah an’ I show ya some othah moves dat I got…not exactly dance moves but I think you’ll like dem…" Skittery grinned. "I think dats a good idea…" Skittery and Tunes started to walk out of the room, talking and smiling. "NOOO" Quipster yelled, seeing them leaving happily. "It’s all been in vain!" "But, no it hasn’t," Itey, who had randomly shown up at her side since he was her sidekick, pointed out. "What?" "Well, ya got Skittery ta pick a goil to stop da fightin’…" "Look ‘round Itey! EVERYONE’s fightin’ now!" "Yeah, but…it’s not cause of Skittery anymoah…" "Good point…wanna get outta heah? Maybe we can depants some people or…steal candy from children or somethin’…" "Yeah, let’s not be part a dis fight," Itey agreed. Quipster and Itey then skipped off leaving the rest of the newsies fighting. The problem had been solved and the contest was over for Skittery had found his girl and everyone felt very proud of what they had accomplished. The End! Back to Fanfiction Page Back to Newsie Page |