I thought you might like to know a little about me.
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I grew up in a normal home. My mom and dad were married 34 yrs. before he died of cancer. I was taught family values from the get go, I was turned off by drugs, I experimented with alcohol, but did not do the party scenes. When I turned 15, I started my little rebelious thing. I met a very handsome man and quickly became involved. We stayed together throughout my highschool yrs. I had his baby when I was 17 yrs. old. I married him when I was 18. I had another baby the day before I turned 19. We fought alot, but I thought I could change him. My second baby, my only daughter, was 2 months early. The pregnancy was normal, but the abuse I recieved was not. I was punched in the stomach, knocked into walls, and the final blow was when I was thrown down on concrete, the reason was I smiled at his grandmother, and he was angry with her. When she was born, he stayed long enough to find out if I had a boy or a girl. When they rushed her to a children's hospital, I was alone. He was out celebrating. He would not take me to see her. I think I saw her maybe 4 times, he took me twice, he even refused to take me to see her on Christmas day. When she was 9 months old, she weighed 9 pounds, I had to beg him to take me to another doctor, she was starving to death. The doctor said if I had waited two more weeks she would have died. Her stomache was not fully developed. We moved to Florida, I followed him, believing in him and afraid of him. We ended up homeless. We ate maybe once a day, we slept in a car. On days that he found work, we sat on a sidewalk waiting for him to return with money. After he bought gas, and his cigarettes, he would buy us food. My son was 2 by then, and he refused to drink his milk until he saw that "sissy" had milk in her bottle. We were eventually in the hands of the children's protective service. A babysitter abused my daughter, she accused me. When they found out we were homeless, they kept the children, even when the charges of abuse were thrown out. My abuse never stopped. Mental abuse followed. He told me my babies were better off. If I tried to leave him, he would make sure my babies never returned. In this short time, I got pregnant again. I was still basically homeless, we lived in an old hotel, on the bottom floor(basement), we shared one bathroom with the whole building, there was no heat or air, no kitchen. I was working for Subway in Altamonte, Fla. I ate while I was at work. I seldom brought him food home. I told him if he wanted to eat, he would get a job. My manager, Wanda, and the district manager, Pete, were very supportive. They helped me get to and from work. Paid taxi fares so I could work other stores. They even offered me a management position, help with an apartment, and teach me how to drive. They would give me all the support I needed, if I would just leave him. With their help,and my parents',I got myself a trailer, and after I got my kids back, I left him. It took me a year, but I did it. My mom bought me a one way ticket to Indiana. It was supposed to be roundtrip, because I was just taking the kids to her for safety. He followed me to Indiana. He threatened me, chased me, begged me to come back. I even considered suicide at one point because of his mind games. I never went back to him, and once I found someone else, he stopped even coming around. Two of the children were hurt badly in a car wreck. He came to the hospital, patted me on the back and told me they would be ok. I never heard from him after that. I am now married to a wonderful man. He saved me from self destruction. When we met, I was so depressed, I was drinking, and my house and children suffered. I flat out did not care, and my family was not alot of help at that point. They tried, but just could not understand. I have 4 children now and the three older ones accept him as their daddy. They ask about their "father" every now and then, I know they hurt. I try not to talk down about him, I think it is unhealthy. I told them when they get older, if they want to find him, I will help them. My children are very intelligent, and for all they have been through, they are very well adjusted. They don't remember too much of the ordeal, but they keep in touch with their foster mother. I tell my daugter this lady saved her life. I swore my children will never be hungry again. They don't have everything they have always wanted, but they have everything they will ever need. Including a steady life. They have a house, food, pets, parents that love them and a good education. My oldest is even being published in "Who's Who among American High School Students" I have overcome alot, and that is mainly what I want this page to be for. To help those that feel overwhelmed, and feel that there is no hope. My third child is Mildly Mentally Handicapped(MMH) I won't allow him to give up, I make him work hard and try to be all he can. Never give up, if I can do it, anyone can!  |
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