| TOW The Dirty Girl |
| "Probably the only time I'll ever say this, but did you see the ass on her?"-Monica Phoebe: But Mon, you have to get our money! Monica: Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant! Ross: But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out tomorrow. Rachel: Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek. Ross: Fine by me. Hope she wins. Rachel: Oh, The Velveteen Rabbit! Oh my God, when the boys' love makes the rabbit real! Chandler: Okay, but don't touch it because your fingers have destructive oils. Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that? Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers...called a couple of author's grandchildren. Rachel: Oh, honey, that's so sweet. Phoebe: Yeah, and what a great way to say "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend" Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice. Joey: Oh, I know... Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love" Phoebe: Oo, a crossword! Can I help? Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help. Phoebe: Fine. But you can't help me develop my new universal language. Monica: Look at this! I'm an omlet station! Omlet? Made to order! Phoebe: I'll have one please, plus my money. Monica: Oh, well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I...I used it to buy all this stuff. But look--I've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that. Phoebe: Oh. Okay. Oh, sorry I acted like a bank. "Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough," or "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "These sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl"-Phoebe Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad? Ross: You know how you throw your jacket on a chair at the end of the day? Well, like that, except instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! Phoebe: Yeah, I'm a hard ass. Monica: And I'm a wuss. We should be partner. Phoebe: Yeah, Hard Ass and Wuss. We could fight crime. Monica: I can cook and you can take care of the money. Phoebe: Yeah. Oh! It'll be like I have a wife in the fifties. |