| TOW The Free Porn |
| Ross: And why do you care so much? Monica: Because you get to live out my fantasy! Ross: You had fantasies about Emily? Monica: No, you know, the fantasy: Meet someone from a strange land, fall in madly love, and spend the rest of your lives together. Ross: Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukranian kid? Monica: Yeah, that, plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything. Monica: Oh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. You're probably gonna catch her just as she's about to go to the gate. You're gonna call out her name and go, 'I love you!' And she's gonna say, 'I love you too!' And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss. Everyone at the gate will applaud. Ross: I am a good kisser. Monica: Then you two can sneak into the cockpit and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in...I've been watching too much porn. Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I must've hit something on the remote. Chandler: Do we pay for this? Joey: No, we didn't even pay our cable bill. Maybe this is how they punish us. Chandler: Maybe we shouldn't pay our phone bill--free phone sex! Joey: Maybe we shouldn't pay our gas bill! Rachel: Well, whatcha got there? Phoebe: Oh this? Well, I'm glad you asked. Now don't you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? Ah! Now, I think what you're thinking-- Chandler: Pregnant woman slays four? Chandler: I was just at the bank and there was this really hot teller and she didn't ask me to do it with her in the vault! Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza-delivery guy comes over, gives me the pizza, takes the money and leaves! Chandler: What? No "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?" Joey: No! Nothing! Chandler: You know what? We have to turn off the porn. |