| TOW Emma Cries |
| "What do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla?"-Chandler "What's Ross short for? Rossel? Rosstipher?"-Joey Joey: Occupation....that's easy...dinosaurs Ross: No, Joey...Pale...Dinosaurs is fine...but the drawing is not "This just proves nothing good comes from having sex with Ross!"-Phoebe "Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!"-Phoebe Rachel: Diapers? Ross: Hospital! Phoebe: You have a hospital? Fancy! Monica: Okay, I don't want to be negative so I'll say most of the signs you bought are good. Phoebe: No, they ran out of "It's a Girl" but I can fix this one. [writes NOT with an ^ inbetween It's and A] Phoebe: Oh, she's just so cute. I wanna just bite her ear off and use it as a sucking candy. Monica: But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a Pita Pocket. Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? Gunther: Diapers, huh? Ross: Yup. Gunther: So I guess Rachel had your baby. Ross: Yup. Can you believe it? Gunther: Nope. I can't even believe she slept with you in the first place. Ross: Huh? Oh-oh-oh, You mean....huh? Ross: I'm gonna go. Joey: No, come on Ross, we have to get past this. Ross: Give me the bag. Joey: No. Look, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry. Ross: Joey... Joey: Now, you should scream at me or curse me or hit me. Ross: I'm not gonna hit you. Joey: Why not? You'll feel better, I'll feel better and you know you want to, I can see it in your eyes. Ross: No I dont. Joey: A little bit. Ross: No. Joey: A little bit. Ross: No. Joey: A little bit more. Ross: Give me the bag. Joey: No, hit me. Ross: Give me the bag. Joey: Hit me. Ross: Joey, give me the bag. Joey: Hit me. Ross: I'm not kidding. Joey: Hit me. Ross: No. Joey: Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me! [Ross comes at him with a fist, Joey ducks, Ross punches the pole in Central Perk] Ross: [in pain from punching the pole, turns around and sees Gunther smiling] You ducked! Joey: I'm sorry! It was a reflex! Ross: Oh my God, this really hurts! Joey: I couldn't help it. When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look [punches Ross in the face] Ross: Oh!!What is the matter with you?! Joey: You were suppose to duck! Why didn't you duck? Ross: Look, why don't we talk about this on the way to the hospital? Joey: Good, yeah, maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes. Monica: Try feeding her again. Rachel: I already fed her. Monica: I know! That's why I said again. Phoebe: All right guys, we can't turn on each other, that's just what she wants. Chandler: Hey Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute? Rachel: Oh no, you guys stay here. I'm gonna go check her diaper. Pheebs, wanna come? Phoebe: No, I'm kinda a part of this. Chandler: Actually, Pheebs, it's more kind of a husband and wife thing. Phoebe: I knew I should've married Chandler! Monica: Tulsa, Oklahoma?! Chandler: The Sooner State! Whatever that means! Monica: Chandler, I don't even wanna see the musicial 'Oklahoma!' ! Chandler: Really? Oh what a beautiful morning? Seere with the fringe on top. Monica: Are you trying to tell me that we're moving to Oklahoma or that you're gay? Okay, not that this matters but did they offer you a raise? Chandler: No, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. I'll get out of it. Monica: Thank you. Chandler: What is wrong with Emma? Monica: Oh, she misunderstood. She thought she was moving to Tulsa. Joey: Hey, how is it? Ross: I broke my thumb. Joey: Your thumb? [makes a fist and sits down] Hmm...that's weird. Are you sure you're punching right? Make a fist. [Ross looks at him] Maybe later.Ross, I feel terrible. Ross: You know what?You can go. I just have to fill out some forms. [he attempts to fill it out] Joey: You want me to help you with that? Ross: Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my mis-shapen claw? Joey: Date of birth? Ross:You know my birthday. Joey: Sure. May....tember [looks at Ross] Ross: October 18th. Rachel: How long has she been crying? Monica: Oh, about a week and a half. Phoebe: All right, well it looks like you guys got it under control so I'm just gonna go. [Monica and Rachel look at her] No? Misery really does love company? All right! Rachel: Here just take her. Monica: All right. Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. Monica: [holding Emma] Bouncy baby, bouncy baby, oohh bouncy baby, oohh bouncy baby, baby, oohh, baby, baby, Phoebe: [comes back in the room] Have I gone deaf? Monica: It worked! Ooh baby baby baby baby ooh baby baby baby. Phoebe: You must be a fireball in bed! Monica: I can't believe it! She's asleep! I got her to go to sleep. I have actual magical powers! Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds. I can hear the voices in my head again. I'm kidding. Rachel: Oh my God! You got her to stop crying! Monica: Yes I did! I'm Monica, Super Aunt! Rachel: You are the official baby-crier-stopper. Monica: Yes I am. Rachel: You're never leaving the apartment! Monica: Say what? Rachel: That's your new job....day or night. If she starts crying, I need ya here. Monica: Oh no-no-no-no-no Phoebe: All right. Thankfully you don't need me at all. So, Super Aunt, see ya later. Rachel, let's give it 6-8 months. Ross: You said you'd marry Joey? Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married [long pause] I'm not helping. Ross: So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby? Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is suppose to give the mommy a present but I'm prepared to let that go! |