What the F-Word?!
An essay by Captain Fun.
In the middle of September five years ago, during the nation’s morning dose of Starbucks, we were attacked by terrorists working for al Qaeda and Osama bin Laden. A few hours later in my high school cafeteria, some Muslim girls were the object of scorn, snide remarks, and even flying cafeteria food. I asked my foreign friend Peyman where he was from. He started to accuse me of being a racist, but I was only trying to get his reaction, being the writer that I am.
Soon, one of the
faculty members was on our public-access TV station telling the student body
not to take their anger out on fellow students of middle-eastern descent.
Eventually, the downright nastiness turned into remarks that sounded
“patriotic,” remarks like, “they have awoken a sleeping giant,” and other such
gibberish. All this really meant was that white
Now, before I get
everyone else offended at me, let me say that the terrorists who attacked the
We as a nation,
just like every other nation and every other religion, believe that God has our
back, no matter what. We kid ourselves sometimes by calling
I’m reminded of those bracelets that had their 15 minutes of fame a few years back, with “WWJD” written on them. The letters supposedly stand for “What Would Jesus Do?” The hitch is, you wear the bracelet on your wrist and every time you’re about to do something, anything, you see the letters and ask yourself, “What Would Jesus Do?”
It’s my opinion that if Jesus would’ve seen those he would’ve said something very eloquent yet to the point, such as, “Yeah, pretty much no one is going to do shit about these things.”
In the end, “WWJD” just became another way for people who wanted to feel like they were more Christian to feel more Christian. The amount of people that actually thought about what Jesus would do are probably some of the more interesting people on the planet. If you’re interested, I lost my bracelet after two days. It was blue.
So how can we change ourselves as a nation without killing off an entire race of people again? My answer is knowledge, and the key to all knowledge is the internet, which, in less then a quarter of a century, has managed to unite the world, bring the planet together, making contact with other nations and walks of life instantaneous provided you’re not using dial-up.
But candid shots of Christina Aguilera topless isn’t what I mean by knowledge. I have no problem with sharing beauty with the world as well, but where knowledge can bring the world together and solve problems, beauty can only make us happy individually, unless, of course, it’s Christina Aguilera topless at a Super Bowl half-time show shown on big screens held up by blimps across every nation.
Because if knowledge can’t bring the world together, Christina Aguilera’s boobs can. That’s something I’m willing to believe.
Email Captain Fun at Stickboyprez@indy.rr.com