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Episode 3: On the job...

Wow...what a gig...WE ROCKED...YEAH!!!!! Hello again. Fresh from our first gig and it went perfect. The crowd loved us SO much that they were even crying when we finished. Thats commitment man. Im filling up! Right, back to today. I suppose your wondering what we've been upto since the gig. Well seeing as that was our first gig we had to pay to play so that we would get recognised. No-ones got back to us but thats probably down to the phone bill not being paid hence, it getting disconnected. Where was I, oh yeah. As we had to pay for our gig and we need to get the phone re-connected we needed to make some money so we have all been working hard. So...here is the diary for our working weeks.

TED: This week I have been mostly BUSKING! Seeing as we are strapped for cash I thought I would take my natural, god given talent to the street for the cost of the passers by spare change. I took to the streets with my microphone, CD player for the backing tracks, hat to collect the money and 20 copies of our live set from Bognor on tape so the fans can re-live the wonderous lyrics i bring to them. I thought it best to set off early, so I left for town at 12:00pm. After half an hour of re-living the Bognor gig, I was extremely happy to open my eyes after finishing the whole set to find the same response as bognor...loads of crying kids...god the fans are dedicated. "Sniff sniff" Ive got to go before I cry myself and ruin my hard rock image. "Thank you everybody and goodnight"

TOTAL EARNINGS: £0.36, a piece of chewed gum and an empty Lucozade bottle

HANK: Hank has found himself a great job as a Spy but unfortunately it isnt going well. He was fired after a week and also ended up in hospital with a court case when he gets out. He was taken on by a company, who cannot be named for legal reasons, by faking a C.V and leading them to believe that he actually worked at MI5 for 5 years. Believing that he was well qualified for the job, they put him on the biggest case with the biggest salary, £20.000 for 2 weeks work...JACKPOT! Hank was sent to investigate a gang who were importing drugs and nuclear weapons into the UK. "The Company" got him in easy because they had the gang leader's right hand man by the balls. Hank was taken in but after 3 days he started to sample the drugs

and even tried to steal some to sell on, but he was caught so had to do a runner. Hank thought he was in the clear and escaped the drug barons but in an atempt not to get fired he told the spy agency that it was going well and just started making up reports of his survailence. "The Company" realised that the reports were complete lies when the Right Hand Man asked them what happened to Hank. Hank was then fired without pay. He is currently in hospital because the gang caught up with him and decided to rough him up a bit. The court case is down to him using the spy agencies resourses to try and hunt down Graham from Blind Date again but was fired before he found him. Cilla received the harrasment again so is taking Hank to court. She has nothing on him though so he should be alright.

TOTAL EARNINGS: £0.00 and had to pay lawyer & hospital fee's

PINKEY: Pinkey has found it hard trying to make money and has been turned down by several jobs. She went for 6 interviews but didnt get any of them because she beat up the interviewers after they repeatedlly insisted for her real name and refused to believe that she was really called Pinkey, I quote "What a stupid nickname!" Pinkey eventually found work as a repo lady collecting debts and sorting out people who refused to pay their debts to a well known loan shark in Millwall. It was going really well for her until she was arrested up for roughing up a young boy because he was riding a bike that his parents bought him and they were behind on thier payments.

TOTAL EARNINGS: £2.57. She earned £500 but after being arrested they found that all the notes were counterfeit so conferscated them.

FRANK: Well, well...Frank has been a busy boy. He has been raking it in. He will be this bands saviour i tell ya, well, after me anyway. Frank flew back to Amsterdam for a week with some of his savings and got his old job back in The Ladyboy Club where I first met him. He said they were more that happy to have him back for the week as he was such a good worker and his regulars missed him. Must have been a bloody good barman! When Frank got back to the UK and came to see the band he seemed very happy as he got a holiday and earned loads of cash too. One thing I noticed though was that he was walking very funny and had some trouble sitting on hard chairs or stools...barwork must be so hard, on your feet all night. He certainly took one for the team. Such dedication!

TOTAL EARNINGS: £5,654 "Thats a lot of tips"

Part 4 coming soon. After Franks earnings could the band be on for another gig or maybe they will get a call from a record lable to sign them now the phone is back on. Come back next time to find out.