"Lonely, Is a State of Mind"

by Marilyn Oliver

Charley was 43 years old and she can't think of one person that she wanted to share her day with. She hadn't always been like this. She used to have a lot of friends around her all the time. But it seams like the older she gets the fewer friends she has. She has a family, a husband and three children. Two boys, 21, and 15. And a step-daughter 28, and she even has a grand-son 8 years old. And a new born grand-daughter which she has never even seen. You would think she would be busy with them, but she isn't.

Her husband is 61 years old and he acts like his life is over and he is ready to die now. So he just lays in the bed and rests as he calls it. What he is resting for God only knows.

Her oldest boy and his wife never calls or writes. They act as if she is already dead or something. They just had a baby, that was born

way to soon and had to stay in the hospital for a few weeks. She never got a call to let her know if the baby was dead or alive. She doesn't even know the baby's' name.

Her youngest son is her life though, he lives with her and he does act as if she counts. He is the only person that she can count on. He just started High School and through him she is remembering the time she was in High School. And she envies him and all the fun stuff he is about to do.

Her step-daughter is the only one of her children who she has never doubted that loves her. Even if she hadn't given birth to her she couldn't be any closer to her. When she was younger she was a handful, and it was hard teaching her all the things her own mother couldn't. But it all paid off in the long run, because now she has her own family and a little boy of her own. The grand-son is the hand full now, but with love and patience he will be just as good as anyone can hope for.

Charily faces her own death with mixed feelings, Sometimes she won't admit to herself that her life will end sooner rather than later. But in her heart she knows it will be only a matter of time.

When she was told by the doctors that she has COPD she didn't know what that was, but she quickly learned that COPD was a lung disease that was caused completely by smoking cigarettes. And if she doesn't stop smoking her

life will be even shorter. But she will light up another one inspite of it.

Its as if she doesn't care. But she does, she is just to weak to quit. Charily was never popular with the boys, she has always been over weight and a little self conscience about her self. But when she grew up and became a woman, men was never a problem. She has a saying, "There isn't a man alive, that if I wanted them, I wouldn't get them". And she has too, She had never met a man that she couldn't get. Until this past year. And you

know the strange thing about that is, she didn't want to "get him". All she wanted from that man was to be friends, and he betrayed her with lies.

Charily has decided to go on with her life, but she is so lonely now. Its like her life doesn't count just because of this one man. She has gone insane. Anyone in their right mind would brush it off and go on, But not her, Oh No. She has let this one man take her down. And it has all but ended her life and there doesn't seem to be anything she can do about it.

Her husband thinks that she is in love with this man, but she isn't. If she was then she would know it. No, she has lost her first, and best, real friend she has ever had. Oh there are other friends and they love her and she loves them, but there is something about this one friend that she can't get over losing. The reason she lost him was because of him not her, she

knows this. But she still has a problem with the fact that he is gone. She moved out of town and thinks maybe if she had stayed where she was then he wouldn't have betrayed her like he did.

Her husband who we will call, George, has never really miss treated her physically, but has repeatedly miss treated her and the whole family emotionally. He is the most arrant, self-centered, double-minded man she had ever known. Why she ever fell in love with him is beyond her. But she did. And she had four children by him. He never treated her like she mattered to him, as far as that goes, he never treated anyone like they mattered. If he didn't

come out on top then he wasn't going to do anything for anyone.

When she moved, her husband said that he never wanted to see her again, which at that time suited her just fine. But she called him and he eventually came to where she moved to. But now both wished he had stayed where he was. They just simply can not live together, so he will be going back and maybe from a distance of 150 miles they can get along. But Charily will still

be lonely.

She needs someone who cares for her, and make her the top of their list in life. But she doubts that a such a person lives among the human race.

If ever a person like that did come along she would be the happiest person in the world. But alas there is no such person, is there?

Yes, Charily there is, Jesus, he is the one that fill that void in your life, and make the world not so lonely. All Charily has to do is to ask Jesus to come into her life and make her life complete. There is no one person on this earth that can do the things that Jesus can do for her, if only she would ask him to. No best friend, no child, no husband, but Jesus. If only she would ask him, he will do it. After all that was a promise he had made, right?

Charlys' life isn't really all that bad if you think about it. She has a home and a family who. Whether she believes it or not, loves her. And Jesus, Jesus is the best friend anyone could possibly ask for.