HOTLINE
PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE.
-IF YOU ARE OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE, PLEASE PRESS 1 REPEATEDLY.
-IF YOU ARE CODEPENDANT, PLEASE ASK
SOMEONE TO PRESS 2 FOR YOU.
-IF YOU HAVE MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES,
PLEASE PRESS 3, 4, 5, AND 6.
-IF YOU ARE PARANOID-DELUSIONAL, WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT.
PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE SO WE
CAN TRACE YOUR CALL.
-IF YOU ARE SCHIZOPHRENIC, LISTEN CAREFULLY AND A LITTLE VOICE WILL TELL YOU WHAT NUMBER TO PRESS.
-IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHICH NUMBER YOU PRESS, NO ONE WILL ANSWER.
