Conversation Between the Goddess and the God
This is an imaginary conversation between the Goddess
and the God about..well, you'll see... :)

Imagine the conversation the Creators might have had about this:

"Goddess you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world
is going on down there in the Midwest? What happened to the
dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff we started eons ago? We had a
perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type
of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from
the long lasting blossoms attracted butterflies, honey bees and
flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by
now. But all I see are these green rectangles."

"It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started
calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great extent to kill them and
replace them with grass."

"Grass? But, Lady, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract
butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's
temperamental with temperatures. Do these
Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?"

"Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green.
They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any
other plant that crops up in the lawn."

"The spring rains and cool weather probably make the grass grow
really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy."

"Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it--
sometimes twice a week."

"They cut it, Lady? Do they then bale it like hay?"

"Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags."

"They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?"

"No, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away."

"Now, let me get this straight, Lady. They fertilize grass so it will grow.
And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?"


"These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we
cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the
growth and saves them a lot of work."

"You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to
water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it."

"What nonsense! At least they kept some of the trees. That was a
sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves
in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.
In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural
blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes.
Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil.
It's a natural circle of life."

"You'd better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new
circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles
and have them hauled away."

"No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the
winter and keep the soil moist and loose?"

"After throwing away your leaves, they go out and buy something they
call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the

"And where do they get this mulch?"

"They cut down trees and grind them up."

"Enough! Lady, I don't want to think about this anymore. Goddess,
you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us

"Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about..."

"Never mind! I think I just heard the whole story."