My Brother
My brother Kenny is the reason I started this section of my site.
Kenny was murdered on February 8, 2004.
I wanted to do something that would act as a kind of memorial for him, telling about his life as well as his death.
So here I am.
Kenny was born in September of 1970. His was a normal, full term birth, except for one thing, he was supposed to have been a twin. But the twin died in-utero, long before his birth.
He was a good kid, a little hyper, maybe, but he never meant any harm to anyone, and was a bright and sunny little guy, always smiling, and on the go.
Then, one day, a friend of our mother's was sitting for us, and decided to see what would happen if he got the little guy stoned.
Mom came in, saw the result, and thought it was very very funny.
From that day forward, she not only allowed her 2 year old son to get stoned, she encouraged it.
And why not? He was useless to her. He was the boy she'd never wanted anyway.
And Kenny went along because he was only 2, for one, and for another, when he was stoned, she didn't call him names, or beat him, or yell at him. So even if he hadn't liked what it did to him, he still would have continued.
(Now, don't get me wrong here, I am actually a proponent of the legalization of marajuana and it's products (THC specifically). I think it should be regulated the same way as alcohol, with standardized quality, minimum age limits, and strict penalties for those who drive under the influence, or provide the substance to minors, etc. etc...
This isn't a rant against pot!!)
It just so happened that Kenny, probably because he was so very young, became addicted, and he changed, becoming quiet, introverted and difficult, except when he was stoned.
He stopped doing alot of the things an active little boy is expected to do, and stopped learning alot of the things a bright child is expected to know before they go to school.
It was so bad that he actually failed kindergarten the first time around.
I was a pretty typical older sister, I think, and I know I gave him a harder time than I probably should have, but I hope he never doubted that I loved him deeply.
He used to be able to watch a trail of ants for hours at a time, just seeing where they were going, and what they were doing.
Mom used to bitch all the time that he seemed to go one step forward and three steps back, but secretly, I always thought it was cool that he was so interested in little things.
He and our sister had something of a rivalry. Janie was brighter than he was right from the start, and she was very manipulative, from a very early age.
She certainly had me eating out of her hand, and believing everything she ever said.
I even used to beat Kenny up for her, when she would convince me that he had beaten her up first.
It was only a few years ago that she told me very smugly about what a game she had been playing all those years.
I apologised, and I think he even forgave me.
I hope so.
Highschool wasn't easy for Kenny, thanks to all the drugs.
He was using regularly on his own by then, and never finished.
I think he only got his grade nine.
He was always so down on himself, so convinced he was stupid.
He really wasn't though.
He might not have been a genius, but he wasn't stupid, either.
Kenny left behind a beautiful baby girl, who I have unfortunatly never met. She would be 6 years old now.
She will likely never remember him as more than a vague shadow of a person who was once in her life. And that's really too bad, because if he had been given half a chance, he could have been a great dad.
Just like he always tried to be a great Brother.
