With her vision firmly fixed at her feet, Bell meandered slowly down the elegant marble staircase leading to the magnificent Entrance Hall with its vaulted ceiling and intricately embellished stone carvings and statues.

Her encounter with Alastor Moody had plunged her into a shaky state of confusion; seemingly unanswerable questions swirled in a downward spiral inside her head. She felt like she was falling into a dark, dark place where nobody with good intentions could reach her.

She was soon surrounded by excited first-years rushing down to the Quidditch stadium. Bell found herself fighting back tears when she saw smiling Mundungus Fletcher amongst them, blissfully unaware of his sister’s possible fate.

"So there’ll be two new Chasers and a new Keeper, right?" Mundungus asked one of his little friends. Bell recognised him as Celestina’s younger brother, Achilles.

"Yeah, that’s what everybody’s been talking about for like forever, Mundungus," the boy laughed. "I reckon Sirius will get the Keeper position. He’d make a better Seeker, but we’ve already got a great one of those, eh, Bell?"

"Hmm," Bell grunted, trying to push past the younger students. Hapless little Mundungus, she thought. He’s at such a tender age to have to go through this. His precarious predicament was certainly something Bell could relate to; she found herself musing over the time when her parents first disappeared. At least when you knew your loved one was dead, you could mourn for them. The not-knowing time is a painful state of limbo that Bell woefully knew all about.

"You all right, Arabella?" Achilles asked her as she brushed passed, gouging her path through the milling flock. No, I’m not all right, she thought. My friends are expecting me to be in that stadium in fifteen minutes and I feel like at any instant I could collapse in a heap.

Bell felt slightly better physically when she reached the fresh outdoor air, but that didn’t stop that horrible stomach-churning feeling you feel when you know somebody close by is going through hell. She noticed Moody stalking the forest edge, looking for the best root to venture in to look for clues. Bell’s instincts told her she should go to his side to aid her hero, but another part of her was telling her to stay here where she was shielded from gruesome sights.

Arabella drifted deeper into her black, black hole of self-uncertainty. I’m not up to any kind of Auror work, she thought. I’ve been so stupidly arrogant about this whole silly ambition of mine. I only thought out the glorified part of the job where I get to where the sleek, black uniform and receive awards for bravery and gallant acts. The whole dealing-with-dead-bodies part totally passed over me. Right now I don’t think I could cope with the sight of the slightest drop of blood. To think just this morning I thought I could be the best Auror on the force… I always think I can be the best of everything. It’s a wonder I have any friends at all, considering the way I behave… it’s not surprising that Sirius seems to loath me with incredible, unyielding intensity… right now I loath me too.

Bell took a stroll away from the gathering throngs of Gryffindors so she could spend a few minutes in quiet contemplation. She exhausted every pessimistic chain of thoughts until all that was left was an overwhelming feeling of mortification. It felt like every ambition she had ever had was now some kind of sick joke.

"A penny for them?" offered Remus. She had been so absorbed in herself she had failed to notice that her friend had crept to her side. He grinned sympathetically, obviously reading her negative vibes and volunteering a friendly ear.

"Oh, you don’t want to know," Bell shook her head sullenly. "Shit, I bet the trials have started haven’t they? Lily must be waiting for me –"

"Don’t worry about Lily," Remus assured his dear friend. "I told her to go in the stadium with Peter. Tina’s still moping in the girl’s dormitory, naturally, to milk her 'emotionally delicate' position for all it’s worth… Let’s go sit over there, and you can tell me all about whatever is bothering you."

He signalled towards a stone bench placed alongside one of the high, ivy-laden castle walls.

"You don’t have to do this, Remus," Bell said, when secretly desperately wanted his company. "I’ve just heard some bad news, that’s all…"

As Bell stuttered in her misery, Remus took her hand and directed her to sit on the bench. "Come on Bell, what are friends for? Forget about the trials. What news is this?"

"I went to see Uncle Dumbledore this morning, and Alastor Moody was there. You know, the Auror? It’s Ellie Fletcher - you probably remember her - she's gone missing, Remus… Moody says she could have been abducted, or worse - she could have murdered by a Dark wizard. I just can't stop thinking about that poor girl… what her parents must be going through…"

"My God, that’s terrible!" Remus reacted instinctively.

"I know…" Bell broke off in her dolour, and then looked away. Remus took her hand and stroked her soft, supple white skin. They shared tender glances before Arabella clumsily turned away one more.

"There’s something more, Bell," Remus insisted. "I can always tell with you. I know Eleanor’s disappearance is worrying, but I know that’s not all you’re feeling down about."

"It’s nothing, Remus," Bell dismissed his suspicions. "I’m just a bit pissed off with Sirius still, I suppose."

Bell wasn’t ready to admit the truth about her doubts about becoming an Auror. Feeling disappointed in herself was bad enough, but having to face the frustration of her friends… her teachers… her Uncle… she couldn’t do that. Not yet.

"That’s understandable. There’s something weird going on with Sirius. Just between you and me, I think he’s a bit put out that James is spending so much time with Lily. He feels like he’s being abandoned or something."

"Well, that’s just his typical immature attitude at work again, I guess," Bell shrugged. "Is he capable of any other temperament? He behaves like such a spoilt child."

Remus said nothing. He felt slightly guilty. Bell wanted an amicable face to tell all her troubles to, and he was sitting there relishing their time alone. He still hadn’t let go of her hand…

"I’m sorry," Bell mumbled. "He’s your friend. You shouldn’t have to listen to me bad-mouthing him behind his back. You know I don’t think much of him, I suppose it’s unnecessary to elaborate."

Just keep talking, Remus wanted to say. Talk about anything and everything. Recite the dictionary for all I care. Whatever you say, I’ll listen. I’d listen forever and ever and ever…

Instead Remus shook his head. "If it makes you feel better you can."

"He just makes me so angry. I can’t understand how he can exist without drive, without ambition. For me that would be existing without living."

"But Sirius does have ambition," Remus defended one of his oldest friends. "He just likes to keep it a secret. That way he can play the class clown character to perfection, and aggravate his mother."

"Well, he certainly fooled me. Did he tell you that?"

"No, he didn’t have to. I know him too well."

"What does he want to do then? Why the big secret?"

"He wants to play Quidditch. It’s the only thing he has ever loved and I’m more than sure he wants to go professional."

"I guess that’s why he despises me so much. I’m the one keeping him off the house team."

"Well, it’s not just that. Your clashing strong personalities don’t help."

Bell chortled. "I suppose not."

She lay her head on Remus’ shoulder. Her rippling dark hair cascading down his arm like a waterfall; Remus found himself playing with it in a manner like plucking the strings on a violin. She has such beautifully lustrous hair, Remus thought. It makes her the most stunningly pretty girl in the school. Bell always shines out in a crowd, like the sun’s brilliance on a grey, sullen winter’s day…

"You’re such a good friend, Remus," Bell said, smiling warmly. Remus felt his heart leap at those words. "You always listen to me. You’re always there. You always share my problems. I hope I do the same for you."

Remus wanted to tell Arabella that she was the only example of perfection that he knew, and that he loved her very dearly. On the way to his mouth the words ebbed away with fear of rejection and mocking. He found himself simply smiling instead, as his dearest friend left his side and walked away.

*****

It was sunset. Bell had confined herself to her music room for the rest of the afternoon. This was a concealed chamber hidden with a swish of magic in a turret of the West Tower of the castle, which Albus Dumbledore had specially constructed for his niece’s seventh birthday. In the tranquillity and privacy of her special, special room Bell could elegantly slide her bow across her violin, gently strum her guitar, lightly glide her fingers across her piano or sing her favourite ballad with all her heart.

That afternoon Bell had been in a creative state of mind and she had felt compelled to fully compose four songs for piano accompaniment. She made a mental note to pass the scrolls on which she had rapidly scrawled the notes and lyrics to Remus, so he could compose a violin part for them.

Now the hour was growing late, Bell felt drawn towards the common room to face her friends. When she arrived it came as no surprise to her that the mood between them was somewhat awkward. Peter and Remus sat playing a quiet game of cards by the fireside, while James and Lily sat talking in hushed voices in the quietest corner of the room. Both Sirius and Celestina were nowhere to be seen.

Arabella was assuming Sirius had not made the team. If he had, right now he would be shamelessly celebrating wildly in the centre of the room with a box of Dr. Filibuster’s Fireworks and a few pints of Butterbeer that he would have managed to smuggle from somewhere. Bell decided to check her facts just in case before quizzing James on the afternoon’s events.

"Who won the trials, Achilles?" she asked Celestina’s brother, as he wandered away towards the portrait hole.

"The new chasers are Judith Albright and Caroline Pritchards, and the new Keeper is Elijah Whittall," he informed her. "Totally unexpected that was, but a fair decision by the Captain, I think we all agree…"

Achilles sank into what he probably thought was highly technical Quidditch talk as Bell left him and drifted over to Lily and James, who, Bell was a little hurt to realise, had not even noticed her arrival.

"… Don’t go blaming yourself for his behaviour, James darling. You did the honourable thing; you made an unbiased, fair decision. He’s just going to face the fact that he’s not the best man for the job…"

Bell stood behind the armchair Lily and James were sharing, accidentally eavesdropping on the couple’s muted conversation as she waited for an appropriate moment to interrupt.

"Yes I know that…" James murmured uneasily. "I just feel terrible because I know Sirius is a brilliant flyer. He’d make an amazing Seeker if I could give him the position… He’s better than any of the Seekers from the other Houses. It’s just Arabella is a fantastically skilled Seeker that I can’t afford to lose."

"Sirius should understand that," Lily assured him. "He can’t change things, so he’ll just have to live with it."

"But it’s not that straightforward. Sirius wants the position so badly… The only aspirations he has ever had revolve around Quidditch. And Bell… It’s not that she doesn’t love Quidditch, but it isn’t an integral part of her life like it is for the other players. For her it’s like another school subject. She’s so great at everything, that Quidditch is like another proficiency on the list for her, you know? It doesn’t matter for her like it does to Sirius. I felt like I was crushing him with a Muggle steam-roller today when I told him he hadn’t made the team."

Bell stopped listening after that and started wandering away. She may not be incredibly fond of Sirius, but being responsible for shattering anybody’s dreams was enough to make her feel intensely guilty. She imagined what it would be like if Sirius was better at playing violin than her, and however hard she tried, he would always be able to outshine her at what she loved.

It dawned on her that she was the person to go and find Sirius and console him. Now was the time to put her grudges behind her and do the noble thing.

* * *

"I thought I would find you here," Bell said softly.

It was twilight; that strange moment when the sky can’t make up his mind whether to make it day or night. Bell stood in the cool fresh air in the Gryffindor stands of the Quidditch stadium, looking out across the dappled forest, the mountains beyond and the almost full moon illuminating it all with ghostly bluish light.

Sirius turned, giving Arabella a quizzical look. "What are you doing here?"

"I guess I’m the one here to tell you it’s not the end of the world," Bell answered, with an edge of irony to her words.

Sirius snorted. "You?" he jeered under his breath. "Don’t you want to add this to the Sirius Black Idiotic Behaviour Hall of Fame?"

Bell sat beside Sirius and shook her head. "I wouldn’t call having an objective that idiotic, actually."

"Having an objective you can never reach is pretty idiotic though, isn’t it?" Sirius disputed in a defeated tone of voice. "Who am I kidding, huh? I’m never going to be good enough for any Quidditch team."

"Now that comment can go in your Idiotic Behaviour Hall of Fame," Bell quipped. Sirius chuckled.

"Why are you doing this?" Sirius asked her, looking piercingly into Bell’s crystalline blue eyes. "You hate me."

"Because…" Bell paused to take a breath before taking the plunge.

"Because I may have been wrong about you. You may not be such a loser after all. You may be annoying, self-righteous and arrogant, but you may not be a loser."

"Wow," Sirius nodded with amazement. "I’m almost touched, Arabella Figg."

"Well, don’t expect this special treatment too often, Mr Black," Bell laughed. "Tomorrow I intend to go back to being utterly wretched to you."

"I should hope so too," Sirius laughed.

There was a contented sort of quiet as the two became lost in their own thoughts. Wow, Sirius thought. This is SO strange. Why am I not hating her? Why am I not tearing my hair out with frustration at her every word? Is this really the Bell I know and despise? She seems so very different… almost not the same person, in fact…

Sirius put Bell under sceptical scrutiny. She’s probably plotting some kind of grand scheme to prove one of her stupid points. This is the first step in the great plan to humiliate Sirius Black when he’s down. Yet she doesn’t really look like she’s concocting anything right now… she looks… she looks… really quite pretty…

Bell sat hugging her knees on one of the cold, wooden benches, looking out across the rugged landscape, immersing herself deep in intimate thought about ultimate questions. She’d never known anything but Hogwarts all of her life. She didn’t remember a duration before her time here within the ancient castle walls, with her beloved Uncle at her side lovingly guiding her through the tougher times. What would it really be like to not have him to depend on?… How would she cope when she finished her studying and was pushed out into the real world?…

"You look a bit… sad," Sirius said awkwardly, trying to return the favour by making her feel better too.

"Yes, I probably do," Bell pondered sombrely. "It’s been quite a day. There are a lot of things I need to think through. A lot of things…"

"That’s not a rupture in the old false façade of confidence I see, is it?" Sirius tried to lighten the mood. Bell gave a weak smile and stared miserably at her feet.

"You know there are times I wish I were more like you, Sirius Black," Bell admitted softly. "I wish I could be more impulsive, instead of carefully planning every last detail of my life…"

Sirius raised his eyebrows. He moved closer to Arabella and looked her straight in the eye; an expression of surprise passed over her face.

"What are you doing…?" Bell breathed, as his lips suddenly met his. Before she knew it they were sharing a tender kiss. Sirius held her small face in his hands and moved closer still, running his fingers through her hair.

"What the hell are you doing?!" she hollered as she came to her senses, pushing him to the ground and leaping to her feet. "What the HELL were you thinking?! And don’t you DARE answer that!"

"What? What have I done now?!" Sirius blurted, appearing completely flabbergasted.

"If this is what happens when I try to be nice to you then don’t ever expect it to happen again! You pervert! You’re disgusting!" Bell screeched as she ran down the stadium steps.

"You said you wanted to be impulsive!" Sirius retorted. "I thought – !"

"YOU THOUGHT WRONG!" Bell shrieked. "YOU UNIMAGINABLE BASTARD!"

With a swish of a cloak she vanished from sight. Sirius collapsed onto the nearest seat, head in hands, his eyebrows furrowed in disbelief and embarrassment.