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Some of the best stories are the true ones.

Who says that having an old car isn't fun? Let me tell you how much fun you can have with an old car...

In February of '97, I bought a 1970 Monte Carlo, one of the last pretty body styles that GM has made, in my opinion. I had to sell my 1936 Ford, 5 window coupe, to make room for it and by March 1st, it was gone. Now we have a nice air conditioned tour car.

On July 5th, we loaded up th Monte Carlo to go on a picnic to Carters Lake. Just south of Ballground, Ga., the car died. I suspected the timing gear wore out and after having it hauled home and checking it out... that's what it was. No problem, I can fix that. After replacing the cam shaft timing gear I took it out for a drive and it ran great! The only problem I see, is that the lifters are noisy. No problem, I can fix that. I adjusted the lifters, according to the book on cylinders 1 thru 7. No problem. Let's do number 8. What the heck, the rocker arm is not turning. "I say there wife, is the shaft the nut fits on turning?" "I don't know," she says, "but it looks like it might be." No problem. I have a mig welder, I'll just spot weld it so I can get the nut loose. That looks like it should hold it enough to get the nut loose. Oh, I see another place I can put a spot so I will...

What the heck, there must have been enough fuel in the cylinder to explode. Oh well, explosions are what makes engines run, ain't it?

Well let's see if the nut will come loose now. Well look here, this rocker arm is made out of thicker metal than the others. Let's have a closer look at that nut. Well, what the heck, it's a 5/8 instead of 11/16. Wonder if it will come loose with a 5/8 socket? It sure does. Let's check it out and adjust it. No problem. Sure hope the explosion didn't do any damage. After all that's how engines run, ain't it?

Now let's start it up and see how it sounds. Seems to be missing, or something. Let's check the compression on number 8. What the, there ain't none! Let's sit down and mull this over... The engine has over 180,000 miles on it, so some of the parts besides the timing gear are probably worn. Should I rebuild it, or buy a rebuilt? Gosh, everybody with a street rod has a chevy 350 in it and that's what this is so let's call Mr. Goodwrench and see if GM sells them new. They sure do, and the Chevrolet Dealer, can put one in for me!

Good, I'll call and make an appointment for a new engine installation. "Bring it in July 21st," They say. On July 24 I picked up the car. The engine does not run smooth, at normal highway speeds, of 50 to 70 mph. "Well, maybe it will get smoother with some miles on it." I says to myself.

We decided to drive up to Louisville, KY., to see the grandkids. ( Ought to be a good break in for it. ) We stopped for dinner in Scottsville, KY., and it would not start, even with a jump from a new Chevy truck. Bad place for car trouble. Thought it might be the starter, took it off in a dirt parking lot, had it checked by a mechanic ( a relative of the restaurant owner ) and it was OK. Bypassed my battery with a jump and it started. The stores are all closed, in this small town, so I reconnected the cables to my dead battery, careful not to let the engine die, and went on up the road.

Drove 50 miles and the engine quit, with a backfire. Battery still dead. It was just dark enough for headlights, but we were lucky enough to barely coast to an exit, from interstate 65 and lucky enough there was a service station and a motel. Got new battery and it started, but the voltage regulator checked out irratic. So, the next morning I put on a new voltage regulator and fuel pump, because the old fuel pump looked like it had been leaking.

Drove 10 miles and the engine quit with a backfire again, but after a few minutes, it started. Nice to have a good battery. Drove another 10 miles and same thing. We found a garage with a bunch of old tractors and cars parked around. After 3 hours of trying to get it to fail again, it finally did and the wiring harness was smoking, the coil wire was too hot. We wired the coil into another hot wire and drove to Louisville, KY. ad back home without coil failure. But... stopped at a station to refill our cups with something cool and people started shouting at me that I was loosing antifreeze. Looks like the water pump, sure hope it ain't 'cause nothing is open in Calhoon on Sunday. After a cool down and inspection, found that the heater hose from the water pump was leaking. Good, cut off an inch or so, too much hose anyway, and fill her up with water and off we go. But... engine still not running smooth at highway speeds, kind of like the plugs are fouled, but not exactly like that either.

After we got home from our trip, I proceeded to put on a new coil, because I suspected that was causing the wire to get too hot and the engine to stop. Put in new points, condenser, carborator kit, distibutor cap and rotor. Still, the engine will not run smooth at highway speeds. Also, put on a new radiator, because the fan shroud had hit it during the engine change and caused it to leak, under pressure. The radiator was so weak after all those years, that it could not be repaired.

Finally, after 2 weeks of trying to get the engine to run smoothly, I gave up and took it back to the Chevy dealer. I explained the problem to the service consultant and gave him a note explaining what the problem was and how to get it to fail and asked him to give it to the mechanic. He neglected to do that. This was on August the 18th. On September the 2nd they called and said it was fixed. They had put on a new carborator and vacuum advance, at a cost of $472.55.

I picked up the car the afternoon of September 2nd and it ran the same way it did before I took it in. I took the car back the next morning. The "service consultant" was not there and I was orunate enough to talk to the maechanic and showed him a copy of the note explaining the problem and how to get it to fail. He had not seen the note. We went for a short test drive and he saw that the engine did not run smoothly.

I picked up the car on October 3rd and it runs like it should now. They had tried another distributor, with no luck. They replaced the new engine with another new engine and it still did not run smooth at highway speeds. Finally, they drilled out the jets in the new carborator, to the next higher size and now I have a Monte Carlo that runs smoothly at highway speeds!

Old cars are lots of fun. I know most of you have one. If not you should get one, and drive it some time..

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